


Breathe

by Mars00135



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: All The Awkwardness!, Angst, Based in California, Because It's About To Get Real!!, But remember kids don't drink until you're of age, Carla's Alive!, Childhood Friends, Chorus Singer Armin, Chorus Singer Mikasa, Cinema Major Ymir, Cinema Teacher Oluo, College Student Krista, College Student Ymir, Dean of Students Mike, Diver Jean, Diving, Drag, Eren and Jean are best friends again, Eren and Levi are the same height, Eren's a little shit, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Get Ready For The FEELS!!, Grisha's Chill, High School AU, Hot Armin because I'm making it a thing, House Parties, I blame Neko again, Jean's Awesome Dad, Journalism Student Eren, Kuchel is the shit, Levi and Mikasa are twins, Levi's parents - Freeform, M/M, Marco's Shitty Father, Media Teacher Petra, Modern AU, Movie References, Musician Armin, My shitty humor, No big age gaps, Older Ymir, Original Characters - Freeform, Photojournalist Eren, Rocker Armin, Sassy Jean, Shift in plot, Snarky Levi, Soccer Captain Levi, Soccer Coach Shadis, Some Character Based Off Real People, Swim Coach Pixis, Swim Team Captain Marco, Teenagers can be assholes, Then Not-So Typical High School Drama, Typical High School Drama, Underage Driking, Visual Media Major Krista, Well kinda the same height, again i am NOT sorry, cross-dressing, dancer jean, everyone's of age, music references, principle erwin, sassy marco, soccer player Eren, teenage angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-02-15 00:22:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 70,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13019328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mars00135/pseuds/Mars00135
Summary: After studying abroad for two years, Marco returns to his hometown as a senior in high school. Everything's the same as the day he left....well, almost everything.





	1. Strict Machine

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so you know how I said I would never drop a fic and then I deleted "Tessellate" out of nowhere? Yeah, well, that fic has been absorbed into this one along with all of it's elements. It may not be exactly the same but it's pretty close and now I get to have more fun. So please don't murder me and enjoy the story.
> 
> Your martian overlord,
> 
> -Mars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco, a senior in high school, has been gone for two years studying aboard in Germany. However, now that he's back, he's noticed that not much has changed. His friends are still the same rowdy bunch of geeks he'd left behind, the teachers are still cranky, and the jocks still talk shit in the locker rooms with nothing to back it up.  
> Yet one thing--well more like someone--has changed.

The alarm blared in Jean's ear from under his pillow where it had slipped under the night before. Any other time of day, he would've loved listening to "Joker and The Thief" by Wolfmother. However, waking up to it at 6:30 a.m. was another story. Groaning, he grabbed the cursed thing--fumbling with it as his eyes adjusted to early morning sun breaking through the curtains. Rolling onto his stomach, he eyed the time on the screen; face nearly going pale when he noticed that it wasn't six-thirty at all.

"Fucking hell!" the blonde growled to himself as he shot up. Taking a single step forward, he fell face forward onto the ground with one foot tangled up in his sheets. "This is not my fucking morning damn it!"

Passing by in the hallway, Ezra--the teens' father--watched as his son wrestled his leg free of the parchment white fabric that had a stranglehold on his limb. Taking a sip from his coffee mug, a small chuckle bubbled up from his chest. He still looked a mess from the night before. His wavy golden blonde hair was tousled and pulled back into a sloppy bun while the mascara he had forgotten to wash off stained the corners of his eyes black. At least he had remembered to take off his lipstick otherwise he would've had a monstrous clean-up on his hands.

"Everything alright there, kiddo?" Ezra smirked with another sip from his 'Good Morning Asshole' mug--it being his favorite Father's Day gift. "You look like you woke up with a bird stuck in your hair or something."

Springing up after freeing his leg, Jean huffed out a laugh; his hair a ruffled mess but his amber eyes sparkling now that he was completely awake. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just didn't want to start my senior year off like this. Is Jackson in the bathroom?"

"Nope, he's still in bed."

"Awesome. Good morning," he said then gave his father a kiss on the cheek as was tradition. "Gotta shower or I'm gonna be late."

"Hop to it kiddo."

"Yup."

Running into the bathroom before his old man's boyfriend could hog it, Jean wondered why the guy didn't use the en suite bathroom that was attached to the master bedroom. Maybe he was just being polite but whatever the reason was, the blonde didn't care at that exact moment. He had approximately forty-five minutes to get dressed and drive from Calabasas to the Pacific Palisades where his school was. On top of that, chances were that traffic would be a beast that morning and parking in the student's lot would be worse since there were more juniors and seniors with cars than there were parking spaces.

Rushing through his morning routine--almost nicking himself while shaving--Jean threw on whatever was comfortable since he'd be changing into his dance gear anyway during third period. Grabbing his car keys, melange gray beanie which he used to mask his unruly bedhead, and long black cardigan with the striped patches on the elbows, the young man raced down the stairs like a bat out of hell--constantly checking his watch for the time. Breezing through the kitchen he stuffed the toasted everything blueberry bagel Ezra had waiting for him into his mouth, grabbed his bottle of water from the fridge, hugged his father and booked it to the front door.

Tossing his backpack and Pacific Palisades High duffel into the backseat of his white Kia Soul--which he had named the Stormtrooper--he slipped into the drivers seat and synced his phone with the Bluetooth system. However, before he could even select a song to relax to as he drove, a familiar number popped up; one he knew would show up any moment since he was running behind. Gnawing on his pierced bottom lip as he backed out of the driveway, he shot down the street as he tapped the accept icon.

"Hey Zuzu," Jean said trying not to sound guilty even though he had totally forgot to set an alarm last night and missed their morning coffee powwow. "I know, I missed coffee this morning but I just passed out when I got back from the party last night."

"Don't tell me you're hungover," she groaned. They had been best friends since diapers and she was always the more responsible one and had taken care of him countless times when they had partied a bit too hard. "I swear if y--"

"I'm not hungover; just tired. Dad woke me up last night when he came in and I had a hard time falling back asleep."

"Damn, that sucks."

"Yeah. I swear the guy goes out more than I do now that he's with Jackson."

Chuckling, the shake of her head was easy to discern even over the phone. "Well it's been a while since he's had a partner like that so just cut him some slack."

"Yeah, yeah, I hear ya'. Anyways, are you already at school?"

"Yeah, I grabbed you your drink. Meet me at the front gate?"

Nodding, Jean hummed as he hopped onto Old Topanga Canyon Road. "See you when I get there."

"Cool beans. Stay safe Jeany."

"Later Zuzu."

Hanging up, he cranked up the volume after pressing play on his morning beats playlist. Mouthing along to "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" by Kylie Minogue, he reviewed the routine he and Kat had plotted out for their team piece for the upcoming competition. He loved taking the canyon pass in the morning since it was usually clear of drivers and still a little foggy from the passing marine layer that had slowly began to roll inland. Muttering to himself at the stoplight about how shitty the visibility was, Jean slipped on his glasses. He'd have time to switch into his contacts once he got to the studio. For now, these would have to do. Looking in the rear view mirror as he adjusted them, the blonde was rudely brought to attention by the joker that slammed on their horn behind him.

"Fuck you, it's a four-way," he yelled as he flipped off the driver of the dark blue Ford Flex behind him. Shifting gears, he raced through the intersection with a final, "Asshole, doesn't know what an intersection is."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a long week for Marco and an even longer morning filled with residual aches and pains from moving his stuff back into his old family home. For the past two years he had been studying in Germany as part of an exchange program with his high school. It wasn't hard to adapt to their way of living since they were just as particular as him; especially when it came to punctuality. However, that morning he had accidentally slept through all four alarms and Ymir knocking on his bedroom door on her way out. It wasn't until she came in literally banging a pot over his head telling him he'd be late for class that the weary brunette shot out of bed.

Throwing on whatever was available, he grabbed his swim duffel, backpack, and an apple before booking it took school. Cringing at the nauseating mix of citrus mixing with the aftertaste of peppermint toothpaste, he knocked back his bottle of orange juice that he had stashed in his bag. Cranking up the volume on his stereo, Marco drummed his fingers along to "All The Small Things" by blink-182 hoping the loud guitar riffs and heavy drums would wake him up. It was his first day meeting the swim team he'd be captain of and there were only two names on the roster that looked familiar. Everyone else was a mystery and, even worse, he was running late.

Pulling up to the four-way intersection near Old Topanga, he tapped his left pointer out of mounting irritation when the person in front of him wouldn't move. Sighing, the brunette glanced down to the clock on the dash. Glaring back at him in neon blue was 7:40 a.m. Watching as it clicked to seven forty-one, he groaned then slammed on his horn. The guy yelled out the window at him before beating it to which he just rolled his eyes. Some assholes just shouldn't be given a license; this being especially true in Southern California where people panicked when it drizzled and acted as if three inches of rain meant the world were ending. 'I miss Berlin already,' he thought to himself as he crossed the intersection.

After another twenty minutes of whipping through the canyon--sometimes stuck behind the joker in the white Kia--he finally made it to the PCH. Passing by the familiar drive that led to the hidden Getty Villa, he turned onto the road that led up to the front gates of Pacific Palisades Charter High. It had been years since he last walked those halls but, from what he could tell, nothing had changed. The buildings were still the same brick and white stucco and the front lawn was still perfectly manicured. The students still had the same perfectly styled hair and freakishly perfect teeth. Pulling up into the student parking lot, he rushed out of the front seat; his duffel bag catching in the door as it closed.

"Gott verdammt," he cursed under his breath before freeing the strap.

Slinging it over his shoulder, he booked it across campus to the pool where his team was undoubtedly wondering where there new captain was. This was probably the worst way to start off his senior year.

Dodging one clique of girls and brood of guys after another, the brunette raced through the halls slowing only when a teacher yelled "no running in the halls!" Accidentally bumping into some kid with his headphones on over his gray beanie, Marco apologized without even glancing over his shoulder. He was too focused on getting to the aquatics center before the tardy bell rang. He could not afford to be caught by a dean and be forced to do trash duty when he had thirty other students--peers actually--waiting on him.

Making it to the southern gym right before the tardy bell rang, he heaved a heavy sigh of relief as the door closed right behind him. Spotting his co-captain Zuzu Jov in the hallway looking down at the clock on her phone, he called out her name while slowly jogging over. Lifting her head, the petite Latina exhaled the baited breath she had been holding onto. Already dressed in her all black Speedo kneeskin swimsuit, dark gray warm up pants, and the tri-color long parka with her last name on the back and the number three under it in royal blue, Zuzu couldn't look any more relieved to see the man as he came bustling up the hallway.

"Where have you been?" she demanded as she shoved her phone into the right pocket of her parka. "Pixis has been hounding me about practice running behind schedule."

"Sorry, I woke up late and got stuck in traffic on the way in." 

Shrugging his duffel up his shoulder as they entered the men's locker room, Marco didn't think twice about Zuzu following him inside. After spending the entirety of August at bootcamp for the swim team and sharing the same shower space with both men and women, neither of them batted a lash when it came to propriety. Maintaining eye contact as he changed into his flow control swimming jammers with the red stripe down the side, the spunky young woman ran down the list of things they had to do despite being short twenty minutes. 

First they had to go through role call then introductions. Following that, the newcomers would swim one by one and demonstrate every swim style to see which categories they were strongest in and which needed work. After them, the returning team members would do a brief evaluation just to make sure they were still up to par. Then they'd all do three ten minute periods of treading water with five minutes of laps in between each interval. Before practice let out they'd discuss the upcoming meet with El Camino Real high and the prelims for the city championship.

"That it?" Marco asked casually; goggles and swim cap in hand as he tugged on his parka with 'Bott, 1' on the back with captain written down the left sleeve.

Walking alongside him as they approached the outdoor pool, Zuzu nodded. "Yup, that's it."

"Right. Well, so sind wir?"

Rolling her eyes when she noticed the language change, she laughed. "Just move it will ya'?"

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

First period calculus was probably the worst decision Jean's counselor had ever made in her life followed by her choice of putting him in French VI right after. He may be fluent enough to scrape by thanks to his father being a native speaker but that didn't mean he had inherited his linguistic talents nor was he able to access the little French he did know that early in the morning. Dragging his tired sorry ass to the private dance studios senior members of the dance team were allowed to use at all hours, he hoped to get some quiet time in before practice during homeroom. 

As captain of the A-Class dance team, he had to be in fighting form the moment he walked into that gym where the forty-four other members would be waiting for him when the bell rang for third period. Pulling the strap of his black duffel up his shoulder, Jean turned down the hall where the dance suites were located. As he continued walking, he felt the heavy thudding of boosted bass and lowered treble shaking the ground. Removing his headphones and letting them rest around his neck, a smile worked its way across his lips when he heard the faint vocals leaking into the corridor from suite #3.

Stopping at the studio, he quietly opened the door then folded his arms across his chest with a closed mouth grin. It would figure that his co-captain would have beat him to booking his favorite suite. She was always looking for ways to irk him because her sadist heart loved the reactions he gave. But after two--going on three--years of working alongside one another, it was less irritating as it was just a funny part of their routine and oddball relationship.

Seducing the mirror as if she were staring down the sexiest piece of tail in the club, Kat danced in the empty space to the heavy sultry beat of "Beast" by Mia Martina with Waka Flocka providing a guest rap. Skimming her pale slender hands down the curves of her chest and hips, the petite snowy blonde woman stepped one foot in front of the other toward her reflection before whipping forward. Bending down low, she brushed her left palm up her leg as she pulled up--her perfectly bowed lips mouthing along to the lyrics in time with the tempo. Catching sight of Jean in the mirror, Kat spun around, pinned herself to the reflective wall, then sank down as her hands raked through her pixie cut hair before she flashed him a mischievous smirk accompanied by an even more devious wink.

Shaking his head, Jean dropped his duffel and, without missing a beat, joined her turning the solo performance into a duet. Following her lead, he pressed behind her with one arm circled around her slim hourglass waist. Spinning Kat around, he laughed as she put both hands on his shoulders, dropped it low with a spread eagle, and snapped back up with one leg wrapping around his hips as she leaned back--her back bowing like a sapling tree in a heavy wind.

"You're in high spirits this morning," Jean chuckled as she curled back in and lowered her leg as the song died down before repeating. "Your routine's looking pretty killer, Kat."

"Yeah but it still has some kinks I need to work out," she said casually as if she weren't just using her teammate as a dancers pole. Walking over to the stereo hooked up to her phone, Kat tapped stop on the screen then picked up the hand towel to dry herself off. "You look exhausted. Let me guess, hungover?"

"What is it with you and Zuzu always assuming that I'm either hungover or upset?"

"Because that was the range of emotion for you all last year."

"Yeah well it's different Kat," Jean teased with a pinch to her sweet button nose.

Swatting his hand away with a slight growl, the platinum blonde put on her ripped up Social Distortion tee. "So how's your solo piece coming along? Any idea what you want to dance to?" she asked as she plopped down on the floor, legs crossed and back pressed against the cool wall.

Joining her on the floor, Jean sighed dismally at the thought of the solo portion of the competition. "Not really. To be honest, every time I think about what I want to do my mind blanks. For the first time in years I can't think of what I want to say with my solo piece."

Watching him carefully, she pursed her lips. "You could always dance to 'Gangnam Style'." Dodging his smack to her leg, Kat laughed. "What?! It's an easy go-to that always gets high marks with the judges if it's done right."

"But I'm not trying for any of that, genius. I just want it to mean something to me. You know that."

"Well," she said staring at the floor with a strange expression that resembled a cat that had just eaten the family canary. "You never know. Inspiration may be right around the corner for you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that you shouldn't throw in the towel or anything."

Watching her as she rose, he hesitated to take the hand she extended to him. "Right," he dragged out the word as he took her hand and rose to his feet. "It's almost time for practice to start. You gonna wear that or are you changing into your sweats?"

"I'm gonna change since this is covered in sweat already. I'll see you in the gym, 'kay?"

"Yeah, see you in a bit."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Taking inspiration from Kat's joke earlier in the day, Jean set the opening cardio workout to the lively and exhausting pace of "Gangnam Style" by PSY. Watching half his team struggle to keep up with the rotating set of jumping jacks, in-place lunges, side hops, and squats told him that the juniors--who had just graduated into the varsity ranks--weren't anywhere near ready for his strict regiment. In the two years that he had been captain, the team had won both city competitions, regionals, state, and nationals. They were the only high school team to compete on America's Best Dance Crew and make it to the final rounds. As such, he demanded perfection if they were going to continue this winning streak that had garnered them hefty checks to support their department from the school sponsors.

"If you guys in the back keep lagging with your knees on the pickups I'll make you run suicides across the gym," Jean barked as they alternated into running in place. Watching them groan, one even going as far as to stop for a half minute, the young man stopped what he was doing. "Alright. String five in the back, you're doing six suicides from one side of the gym to the other. Go!"

Chuckling as the redhead in the back with her hair in a ponytail called him a dick to her friend, Jean continued with the cardio opener until everyone was breathing hard and limbered up. Giving the team a fifteen minute break--though they weren't allowed to sit down for any longer than four minutes at a time--he walked to the back doors of the south gym to grab a water bottle from the cooler. Looking outside at the vacant deck space surrounding the Olympic size swimming pool, he could almost see the ghost of himself running along the board of the high dive before leaping six feet into the air where he twisted and turned in a triple pike before entering the water. He could still remember the rush he felt as the cool water broke beneath him with a minimal splash rising up from his entry point.

Those days felt so far away; like they belonged to someone else in another world in another dimension. He was all swimming and diving when he was in junior high; had made most of his friends during those years. Jean had always loved dancing but for those three years and his freshman year of high school, diving was all he could think about. It was so freeing being that far removed from the crowd below that they looked smaller than a thumb nail. The excitement from running down the board, throwing himself into the perfect double backwards handspring before flinging his entire being into the air at high speed, and executing the perfect dive and then entering the water without so much as a splash was something that he'd dream about every so often. 

But as much as he still loved the sport, it was no longer a part of his world. Jean wasn't the ace diver he used to be. Not after the accident he wasn't. Not after the fight he had with his coach or the falling out between him and someone he had once trusted more than his own father. Watching the calm waters ripple in the passing breeze, Jean shivered as he remembered those haunting brown eyes that used to spur such excitement in his heart. But the one possessing those eyes was gone now; had abandoned him in his time of need and left everyone behind.

"Good riddance," Jean muttered under his breath though with a slight wistfulness. It wasn't like that person cared at all about the repercussions of their actions. "I wonder where you are now."

"Huh?" Kat breathed as she grabbed a water bottle from the cooler. "Who are you talking to?"

"No one," Jean smiled softly as he turned away from the pool. "I was just thinking aloud."

"Right, sure you were."

"Shut up. Anyways, we should get back to practice. Prelims are in a month and next week is the first football game of the season and we're performing for halftime right before the drumline comes out."

"Aye aye, captain. I'll go rally ye' men and ladies."

Jean snorted a laugh. "Get lost Kat. Jesus." Sparing the pool one final glance, he turned away and walked back toward the center of the gym. "Alright everyone, break's over!"

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time fifth period English with Lehren rolled around, Marco was starting to feel the strain from the day stacking against him. Head splitting in two from the killer migraine he had been nursing since third period calculus, everything from quiet chatter to birds chirping was tap dancing on his last and very fragile nerve. Weighing the pros and cons of skipping class, he was about to sneak out when a familiar face walked into the room and rooted him to his chair.

It had been two--maybe two and half--since he had last seen Jean. Once upon a time, they were the closest of friends and co-captained the swim and dive team during freshman year. Growing up going to the same junior high after the blonde had switched schools during his first month of sixth grade, they were as thick as thieves. Some would say they were as close as brothers. They did everything together and became friends with each others friends creating the largest clique in the school. However, things turned sour for some reason unbeknownst to Marco. Somewhere along the line a rift had formed between them and their once perfect friendship came crashing down. And as much as Jean had changed, it felt as if he were still staring at the same shaggy haired kid with bright joyful amber eyes.

Chest tightening when their eyes met, he could feel the shock rolling through Jean even though his expression gave nothing away. Marco didn't need to see any visible queues to know they were thinking the exact same thing as well as feeling the same nauseating combination of shock, horror, and familiarity. He couldn't move; couldn't look away from that haunting golden gaze that was like honey poured over thorns. His eyes were dangerous; always were because they could see past anything and everything. A frightening prospect for someone like Marco who had a number of secrets to hide.

The brunette swallowed hard when the blonde sat down in the seat directly in front of him. Now he not only had a killer migraine he had to worry about. Marco now had to focus on not throwing up from the mounting anxiety. This was by far the worst day of his life and the worst way to start off the school year. Of all the chairs he could have sat down in, Jean just had to choose that one. Not the desk two spots in front of him or the one that was three over and one down to the right. No, he sat down directly in front of him and with a heavy sigh no less. 'Well that's fan-freaking-tastic,' the brunette grumbled internally. Staring holes into the blonde's back, his heart skipped as the guy began to turn around in his seat. This was it. This was the conversation Marco had been waiting to have for years so that he could finally clear the air between them; maybe even rekindle their friendship.

Yet just as Jean was moments away from looking at him, Jeager plopped down in the seat parallel to the blonde's with a loud aggravated sigh. 'God fucking damn it Jeager!' Marco growled silently; falling back into his chair as the tension dissipated. That punk was always causing trouble, whether it be on the soccer time or hounding students and teachers as a member of the school newspaper. But it wasn't that Marco hated Eren; just in that moment he did.

"Thank god I have you for fifth period," Eren groused to himself. "I need to talk to you about about my chem teacher. The man is a lunatic that doesn't know shit about linear carbon molecules but acts like he's fucking God's gift to the Earth."

"Let me guess, you got Kocharian."

Giving Jean jazz hands with a less than enthusiastic 'ding ding' as if he had won something, the brunette glared at the ceiling. "Excellent guess. Fuck, I'm going to fail that class. Do you think the my counselor will let me swap teachers?"

"I don't know, probably not," Jean chuckled; sparing a quick glance over his shoulder when Eren wasn't looking. "Or maybe you'll get lucky."

Staring into those eyes for a brief moment, Marco felt the world fall away. It wasn't fair. Everyone had stayed the same for the most part making his return home easy. But Jean... It was like he had grown up in a single night. Once an awkward kid that was far too self-conscious about his ears, he was now a stunning young man with finely crafted features, a laugh that could light up a room, and eyes that could kill. It wasn't fair at all because the one person he wanted to talk to now looked at him as if he were a perfect stranger. No, it was worse because he could see the cold disinterest in his molten gaze. They were both to blame for what had transpired between them but it seemed like Marco was the only one hoping to sort things out.

As the blonde looked away, the swim captain could feel his heart sink. It were as if Jean were silently telling him he had no interest in speaking to him ever again. He could feel the barrier dividing them; could see it in his glacial stare. Was there really no fixing this? Was this really the end of their story? As the lecture began and everyone pulled out their notebooks, Marco felt like he was going to be sick to his stomach. Sighing as he pulled out his lefties spiral notebook, he paused when Eren accidentally dropped his pen. Grabbing it before the kid could, he handed it to him with an expressionless face. The younger brunette though looked as if he'd seen a ghost.

Mouth agape and emerald eyes blown wide, he stared at Marco while trying to form the words in his head. Gaze flicking over to Jean who had his back turned to the man behind him, Eren looked back to the brunette. When their eyes locked again, he too gave him the most chilling glare he could muster without causing too much of a scene. It seemed like everyone was on Jean's side. Lifting his middle finger while mouthing "fuck you," Eren turned his back to Marco. Maybe he should have stayed in Germany. Maybe he shouldn't have begged his father to let him finish high school in the US. Maybe he should have deleted all the photos he had of him and Jean from their junior high years. It seemed foolish now, holding on to hope if the person he was going to ask for forgiveness was acting like he didn't even exist.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Jean was in no mood to talk to anyone after the day he'd had. This was especially so after he had walked into his English class to see a familiar pair of once enchanting brown eyes fixed on him. He thought Marco had left for good and that that would be the end of their story; the end of them, whatever they were all those years ago. All those nights he'd spent crying, wondering what he'd done to deserve that kind of cruelty; all those months he spent getting over the boy he had accidentally said "I love you" after telling himself he'd take that secret to the grave. It amounted to nothing now that he was back. Seeing Marco in class--now taller and every inch the handsome man he knew he'd grow up to be--was like having the dagger shoved back into his heart and then twisted. He didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. He just wanted to sit in his room and brood over it while destroying his hearing with the music up as high as it would go.

Unfortunately, the blonde had missed hanging out with Zuzu that morning which meant he had to pay retribution. Maybe this would be good for him. He'd buy them coffee and then bitch about it to her in the privacy of her room as they listened to shitty scene kid music and filled in spaces on her art wall. That was usually how they handled these situations so why break with tradition. Picking up two latte's on the way over--his a cinnamon dolce and hers an iced vanilla with an extra pump of syrup--he made the twenty minute drive over to Santa Monica where she lived with her parents and two older brothers.

Arriving at the two-story Spanish colonial inspired home with a large round-about driveway that encircled a twelve foot tall water fountain, Jean parked his car right behind Zuzu's pastel pink Fiat 500 that had the black racer stripes over the hood a and Kodama charm hanging from the rear view mirror with a Gigi cat plushie on the dash. Knocking on the front door, he only had to wait a brief moment before there came a loud barking followed by the familiar sound of Donna, Zuzu's mother, ordering the dog to go outside. When she finally opened the door, the woman could hardly contain herself.

Screaming his name with a smile, Donna wrapped her arms snugly around Jean with a smile that could only be described as childlike. Despite having two boys herself, the blonde seemed to be the fourth child she never had but always wanted. Kissing both cheeks then patting the left side of his face, her bubbly brown eyes sparkled with joy. It had been a while since he had last visited but he had been busy with bootcamp for the dance team all summer and Zuzu had been preoccupied with whipping the new members of the swim team into shape while they awaited the new captain; a position that should have been hers in his not so humble opinion.

Lifting the drinks above his head as the clumsy family dog--a husky named Chinook--came to rub up against, Jean chuckled as the goofy ball of fluff rolled over onto its back.

"It's so good to see you honey," Donna said with adoration in her eyes; she really was too sweet sometimes. "You here to see Zuzu?"

"Yeah. I missed hanging out with her before class so I'm making it up to her."

"Ah, so that's why she was pouting earlier." Tossing him a wink, Jean couldn't help but feel the urge to roll his eyes. She had been trying to set them up since they were twelve even though he had told her he strictly bats for home. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. "She's upstairs doing homework. You came at the perfect time too because I had just started making lunch."

"Uh, okay," Jean muttered while trying to get around Chinook who was pawing at his leg even though he was still on his back. Getting to the stairs, he gave the dog a stern look. "Stay. No following Chinook. Staaay."

When the dog didn't move from his splayed out position on the ground, the blonde nodded then made his way up the wooden stairway. Not needing anyone to direct him to Zuzu's room, he decided to surprise her and just burst into the room. Busting into the room shouting "Sup bitches?!", he was greeted with a shriek and a pillow hitting him square in the face. Apparently his friend had had her headphones on and the music up as loud as it could go when he came in without warning. Quickly setting down the drinks since he knew what came next, he stood up just in time to nearly collapse from her jumping him from the side.

Knee's almost giving out, Jean laughed as she ruffled his flaxen hair calling him a jerk for ditching out on her that morning. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he flipped her over and slammed her down on the bed; the sound of the bed frame creaking against the floor no doubt adding to Donna's suspicions. Breathing hard, the petite brunette frowned at her loss then stuck her tongue out at Jean who was teasing her with a triumphant smile plastered across his face.

"No fair, you always win," Zuzu groused as she sat up. Perking up when he handed her her latte, she took a sip then smirked. "Okay, I forgive you."

"Good because I need to vent." Closing the door, he fell back onto the bed with a groan. "You will not believe who's back in town." Waiting for her to ask who, Jean craned his neck back so that he could see her. Anxiously gnawing on her straw while avoiding eye contact, the blonde's eyes narrowed. "Zuzu, what aren't you telling me?"

Looking up at the ceiling she sipped at the drink even more before muttering, "Nothing."

Eyes going wide when the pieces clicked into place, Jean rolled onto his stomach with mouth agape. "You knew!!"

"Knew what?!"

"That Marco's back! How?!"

Knowing she'd been had, Zuzu bit her lip. "He's the new captain of the swim team."

"You've known since summer camp?! What the fuck Zu?!"

"Oh calm down, will ya'. I thought it wouldn't matter since two years ago you said, quote, 'that asshole is dead to me.'"

"Well yeah, but still you could have said something."

"I tried but you kept interrupting me every time I started talking so I gave up."

With another long groan, he rolled onto his stomach, this time closer to the edge of the bed. To make her point about how done she was with this drama, Zuzu, pushed him off the bed. With a yelp, Jean dropped over the edge and made contact with the firm carpeted floor with a loud "thud." Gazing down at him from her perch, she laid on her stomach with both arms folded under her chin.

"So what are you going to do about it? Him being back, I mean."

"Pretend he doesn't exist and just ignore him all year. You know his desk in English class is right behind mine? Seriously, how fucked up is that?"

"Have you ever thought that he may want to talk to you?"

"Pfft, yeah right. Mister Captain-of-the-swim-team-look-at-me-I'm-so-popular wants to talk to the awkward gay kid that told him he was in love with him. Yeah, I don't think so. Why else would he go to Germany with his dad? He can't stand his old man; or at least when we were friends he couldn't."

"Maybe he didn't have a choice," Zuzu said thoughtfully as she reached down to play with Jean's hair. "You know better then most how bossy and imposing Marco's dad can be. Maybe he strong armed him into it and didn't give him a choice."

Staring at the ceiling fan as it circled round, the blonde sighed. "Maybe. But he could have called or emailed, anything! He didn't have to leave me hanging like that. He could have....never mind. It doesn't matter." Grunting as he sat up and reached for a violet paint pen, Jean uncapped it and got back onto the bed so that he could draw on her art wall. "I'll see how I feel about talking to him tomorrow. If I still want to punch him in the face than I won't say anything."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," she chuckled.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Blowing through the defense line with ease, Levi guarded the soccer ball as he ran it up the field. Exhausted and pissed off from class, he Eren in the goal post with the fury of raging storm. Staring him down, the brunette tried to think fast and guess based off his movements which side the captain was aiming for. Catching it as he switched the foot he was leading with at the last minute, the goalie reacted quicker than anyone could blink and jumped for the right as the ball soared through the air. Deflecting it just in time with his shin guard, Eren smiled while biting the corner of his lip.

Nobody was as skilled as he was when it came to blocking goals made by the captain. Their ace in the hole and the original power player, Levi was a force to be reckoned with. Everyone else would have crumbled under his piercing gaze as he set his sights on the net. The only one capable of withstanding that frightening expression was the ever-spunky brunette. Once fondly known to the team as the Suicidal Bastard because he just didn't know when to quit, it took them a while to get used to one another. However, when the guys had gotten past his cocky exterior, they came to appreciate the guy; making him a key player because not only was he not terrified of Levi but he was the only one that could get all the plays down pat.

High-fiving Noam, a forward and Richie, one of the guys on defense, the team took a break after practicing for two hours straight. Coated in a thin sheen of sweat with his hair swept away from his face, Eren walked up to the cooler to grab a blue Gatorade from the ice chest. Sitting on the bench next to the table was Levi who had busied himself with stretching his tight tired limbs. He had taken a nasty fall last year during winter camp and tore half of the ligaments in his right shoulder and a shredding a few in his back that stretched from his ribs to his spine. The surgery had been successful as was his recovery but from time to time, the ghosts of the injuries would come back to haunt him.

Watching as the captain ground his fingertips into the sore connective tissue between his shoulder and neck, Eren set his drink down and went to help the guy out. Swatting his hand away, the brunette drove the point of his elbow into the sensitive flesh then leaned forward, putting all of his weight on the single point. Eyes fluttering shut as a small groan escaped past his lips, Levi couldn't have looked happier as the knots were worked out of his shoulder.

"You really need to ease up on moving this thing around so much and landing on it when you take a dive," Eren chided him without any shred of reserve. "The guys at Birmingham already know that you got a bum shoulder and if they see how much it hurts, they may target you during games."

"Sure mom, I'll keep that in mind." Hissing when Eren dug in extra hard, Levi buckled slightly from the pain. "Hey! Watch it brat!"

"Then stop acting like an idiot and take care of your shoulder. You guys have me in the net so I can't run defense and make sure those assholes keep their distance."

"You worry too much Eren."

"No, I worry just the right amount." Kneading the muscle with his hands now that it was loosened up, Eren stared down at the pale dewy skin of his neck; swallowing hard when Levi sighed while rolling his head even more to the side. "Please. I can't focus if someone on the team is hurt. That goes double for you since you carry the majority of the weight."

Snorting a laugh at that, Levi craned his head back to capture those jeweled green eyes with his. "Whatever you say Jeager."

"I'm going to hold you to that, Levi."

"Fine by me."

Eren could have kissed him in that moment; had been wanting to for years but never bucked up the courage to go through with it. He had known Levi and Mikasa since all three of them were kids. Along with Armin, all four of them had gone to the same kindergarten, elementary school, junior high, and now he and Levi were teammates on their high school soccer team. It was normal to have a small crush on your friend when you're little, that's what he had told himself in seventh grade with he first noticed the fluttering feeling in his chest then again when he had his first wet dream when he was fourteen and the star of the show was the man sitting beneath him now. It was just a small crush, or at least it had been, but now Eren couldn't deny it anymore. Couldn't deny that this was more than some fleeting infatuation or puppy love.

He had been burning a candle of Levi since freshman year, probably earlier than that but he would never admit it. Couldn't admit to it because this could dismantle everything. If Levi found out he was gay he'd likely put distance between them. Separate himself from the brunette because it will have been a betrayal of their trust. Sure, they had friends in the LGBTQ community but that wasn't the issue. The problem was that Eren was acting as if he wasn't drooling over himself internally every time they walked into that locker room and Levi stripped down to nothing at all and got wet under the shower head. It was why the brunette usually waited a couple minutes to take his shower; better safe than sorry.

Reluctantly removing his hands from Levi's shoulder when he heard someone whistle, Eren scowled when he saw who was heading in their direction.

"For fuck's sake," the brunette muttered under his breath as Marco closed in on them.

"Hey L," the other brunette smiled as he locked hands with his old friend from their junior high days. "I was looking for you and figured you'd still be running the team ragged at this hour."

"It's kinda his job Marco," Eren sneered as he uncapped his drink. "You should know since you're captain of the swim team. Or is your brain not---"

"Whoa, whoa, cool it Jeager or I'll have you running suicides across the the track."

"Whatever. I'm going to go practice my blocks."

Watching as the goalie turned tail but not without shooting Marco a final glare, Levi sighed. "Jesus, why does he always do that when you come around?"

Marco could have told him why but decided that was a story best saved for another time. "Maybe I just have one of those faces."

"Yeah well he needs to knock it off. Anyway, what's up?"

"Nothing really. I just got out of evening practice and thought I'd swing by. How's the shoulder?"

"Not you too," Levi groaned as he rolled his eyes. Reaching for an orange Gatorade, he took a long swig from the bottle them wiped his lips. "It’s sore and sometimes the pains flare up but Eren keeps an eye on it for me like some mother hen which is nice."

"Well you guys have known each other since you were kids. It's only natural that he'd worry."

"Yeah, but there's something else to it I think."

"Like?"

"Don't know just yet. Anyway, yeah, practice has been the pits. How about you? How's the team?"

Zoning out as he watched the soccer players practice their drills on the field, Marco bit his bottom lip. "It's alright. Feels kinda different since freshman year. Everyone's so close to each other now and I feel like I'm that guy they called in to wreck the dynamic."

"You're not that guy Marco."

"Feels like it though. But whatever, I'm sure it'll pass. Anyway, you and Mika still having your start of the year party?"

"Yeah. You got my text didn't you?"

Nodding, he tried to pull himself out of his reverie once more. "Yeah I got it. Bring your own bottle?"

"We'll have some drinks at my place but no one's allowed to get too hammered."

"That shouldn't be a problem."

"I don't know. You know how Hanji and Reiner get."

"True." Catching Eren glaring at him from across the field, Marco swallowed hard on the nerves building in his throat. "Anyways, I'll talk to you later. Kat and I were going to hangout at her place if you want to drop in."

"Maybe. See ya' Marco."

"See you Levi. And remember to rest your shoulder."

"Oh my God, fine. Just stop it with the needling, please."

Laughing, Marco rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Later man."


	2. Young Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As tension builds between the boys, Jean and Marco butt heads and moods turn sour but everything changes when they meet at the Ackerman twin's party.
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING!: Trigger warnings are in effect for later chapters for homophobic language, brief mentions of suicidal thoughts, and domestic violence. I had no idea the story would turn that way but it did so PLEASE CONSIDER YOURSELVES WARNED! It will get better though and it won't be as bad as you guys may fear. Trust me, alright.
> 
> BONJOOOOOUR!!: Salut! J'espere que la vie se passe bien et vous vous plaisez dans la periode des fetes! Welcome to the rework of "Tessellate" aka my angsty ode to high school and all the things that make it both wonderful and horrifying. As such, there's going to be angst, miscommunication, romance, bickering, more romance, turmoil, heavy bromance, and as much awkward humor I can pack into this baby. So sit back and enjoy all the humiliation, confusion, and triumph that are the teenage years. Toodles!
> 
> Sincerely your martian overlord,
> 
> -Mars

The speakers were blaring and the ground was trembling with the heavy bass as "I Like That" by Richard Vission and Static Revenger featuring Luciana played loud and clear in dance suite three. There were only two days left until the big football game against the powerhouse, Taft Charter High, and three weeks until Jean had to submit his solo piece for the dance competition. However, instead of working on those, he was busy refining the trickier steps for the basketball halftime performance. Whether the students liked the sport or not didn't matter but almost everyone at Pacific Palisades went to the games because they all wanted to see the dance team perform.

Local celebrities and national champions three times over, the pressure on Jean to deliver stellar shows for his final year as captain was suffocating. As such, he didn't get much sleep. Swapping worrying about his weight for the dive team with frustrating over every misstep for the dance team, he didn't rest, skipped meals unless Zuzu or Eren came in here by force and made him eat, and listened to the selected songs for upcoming performances on loop whenever he had a break and closed his eyes to visualize the routine.

Stepping in time with the beat, he pop-locked, break danced, and shuffled to the rhythm while searching for the perfect balance of all three. Because everyone was teamed up with a partner for this song, he had to make do and visualize his better half moving to the "slower" sections of the piece. Breathing hard and flushed from the exertion as the song finished, he switched the playlist over to his cool down set before collapsing onto the ground with his pained amber eyes staring at the ceiling. Sighing as the warped bass of "Body Gold (Louis The Child Remix)" by Oh Wonder vibrated any kinks out of his muscles, he took the time to nod off slightly. Campus wouldn't open for another hour and a half. Team captains were given special permission to use the facilities pertaining to their sport before classes started which was why he was there every morning.

Singing along to the song, the blonde let his mind wander and his eyes close to the world around him. He hadn't been feeling right for the past couple of days and he could not get sick; not with everything happening so close together and at the beginning of the semester no less. So he packed on the vitamin c, watched what he ate, and attempted to get a full eight hours. But his mind wouldn't let him rest because he was hounded by dazzling earthen brown eyes at every turn in his dreams. Why Marco came back to this place was beyond him. He had a full-ride scholarship to some fancy academy in Germany and was all set to graduate over there and go to some European university; at least that's what the buzz around campus said. The guy had no reason to come back here.

"I was wondering who'd be blasting music this early in the morning," spoke a familiar voice; one that still sent shivers racing up his spine.

Craning his head back, he saw Marco in his pre-swim gear--parka included--standing in the doorway with his duffel slung across his chest. Why did he have to come back looking even more handsome than when he had left? Jean hated that because it made it difficult to ignore him. Everything about Marco made it difficult to ignore him and, in turn, that upset the blonde.

Furrowing his brows to show his annoyance, Jean sighed. "If you're looking for the pool it's on the other side of the building Ariel."

"You're closer to Ariel since you traded your fins for legs," the brunette fired back.

"Sorry but who are you? I don't believe we've met."

"Cut the crap Jean."

"No," Jean stated firmly as he rolled over and rose to his feet. "You cut the crap and get the fuck out of my studio. I thought I made it pretty obvious that I don't want to talk."

Not wavering in the presence of Jean's anger, Marco straightened out and stared the blonde down using their two inch height difference to his advantage. "Why? You haven't even given me the chance to explain myself."

"What is there to explain?! You left! You left me Marco. You left the team, the school, and you left me and all for some fancy scholarship."

"I didn't have a choice," he growled.

"Bull fucking shit you didn't! There's always another option."

"My father gave me no other option! He told me I come to Germany with him and that was the end of it!"

"Yeah, and you just rolled over and let it happen. You dropped them just like you did with me."

Anger flaring, Marco clenched his teeth and stood as close to Jean as he could without knocking him over. "I did NOT drop you."

"Then how come you never called? Or emailed for that matter. There were a million ways you could have gotten in touch with me to explain things but you didn't. You dropped me; just own up to it and move the fuck on."

"What, like you have?" the brunette accused knowing the words were cutting deep.

Biting his bottom lip, Jean sighed with an annoyed smirk on his face. "God, you really are a punk."

"Takes one to know one."

"Or just an asshole to recognize one. Anyway, I've got to get back to practice and you need to get lost," the blonde said matter-of-factly. Placing a hand on the brunette's chest--a shiver running along his spine as it made contact--he gently pushed Marco out of the room, closed the door, and locked it.

Watching as Marco rolled his eyes and walked away, Jean pivoted so that his back was pressed against the wall. Sliding down to the ground, he took in a sharp trembling breath before he could start hyperventilating. Closing his eyes, he tried to sooth his racing heart. 'What the fuck is he doing here this early? And why the hell was he in the performing arts building?!' Raking his clammy hands through his hair, he forced the nausea to subside and focused on regulating his breathing.

"It's okay," Jean whispered to himself with a little sniffle at the end as the heartache returned. "You're fine. You don't need him. You never did. You're fine on your own. It's alright, everything's fine. I'm fine."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marco laid at the bottom of the pool watching with his eyes closed counting the seconds as they ticked by. Numb from the top of his head to the tips of his toes--just the way he liked it, the brunette hovered there trying to let go of his worries. It seemed so much easier when he was isolated. The world just seemed to fade away along with the bubbles escaping past his lips in a slow steady stream. 'You dropped them just like you did with me.' A stabbing sensation came as he heard Jean's voice echo off the pool walls. 'You left me.' Another sharp pain twisted in his gut as the melancholy words were remembered. 'Get the fuck out of my studio!' Marco could feel the words cutting into him; slicing deeper as he recalled the look in Jean's eyes. 'Get lost...'

Opening his eyes, the brunette stared up at the surface of the water; watching it ripple as the bubbles broke the surface. 'I wonder what would happen if I just stayed down here.' Coming back to California had been a terrible idea. Everyone had moved on without him and he couldn't go back to Germany; not after the screaming fight he had had with his father. 'Maybe I should just disappear,' he thought to himself; the bubbles coming quicker as his lips quivered. 'Nobody needs me so what's the point.' Eyes moving to the side when a familiar form came into view, he relented and left his dark thoughts at the bottom of the pool where they belonged. It was the only place he felt free enough to think such things. Down there he could be honest with himself. But to the rest of the world outside the water, he had to be Marco Bott, the swim captain, the golden child, the perfect student, the perfect son. All things he could never be but he'd fake it until it broke him.

Breaking the surface with a loud gasp, he clung to the edge of the pool; lifting a single hand to wipe the water from his face.

"Hey, you okay?" Zuzu asked from where she stood hunched over him. Eyes dancing with concern, she watched him carefully. "You look pretty pale."

Laughing dismally, Marco pushed away from the edge so that he could just float in the center. "It's just one of those mornings."

"You've said that for the past week Marco."

"Yeah well maybe it's just one of those weeks."

Gnawing on her bottom lip, she knew that what happened between him and Jean wasn't any of her business, but she didn't like the look in his eyes. "Is this because of Jean?"

"Not really. I just fucked up with everything is all." Rolling his head to the side, he gave her the most pathetic smile she had ever seen. "I'll be fine. I just need a moment or two to collect myself."

Zuzu didn't say a word; didn't know what she could say without worrying about making the situation worse. She knew they had history, understood that it had ended bad, but Jean never told her exactly what had happened or explained why he had to be so hostile towards the guy. She may not know him as well as Jean did but from what Zuzu could tell, Marco was an alright guy. Didn't like his old man too much but that seemed to be it when it came to the extent of his bitterness. 'What the fuck is going on?' she thought to herself as she walked toward the women's locker room. Whatever it was, she was going to get to the bottom of it. 'Maybe I'll hit up Kat and ask her. She seems to know what went down with those idiots.'

Throughout practice, nothing was as it should have been. Marco was lacking the confidence he usually exuded and that showed in the longer trial runs for the 100m freestyle and the 300m butterfly. Hanging onto the buoy line that divided the lanes, he gazed up at the clock. Pulling off his goggles and swim cap, he sighed before spitting the water out of his mouth, ducking under the line and swimming to the stairs. As the other team members excelled in their training, he seemed to be falling behind that day as he had the day before and the day before that. Zuzu watched on from the corner of her eye as he hunched over on the bleachers with his parka draped over his shoulders and combed both hands through his hair. This wasn't good.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Nice job out there today Connie," Eren whistled to his teammate as he towel whipped the guy on the rear as he dried off from the shower.

"Fucking hell Eren, that hurts!" Connie snapped and threw his used towel at the brunette.

Dodging it, he smirked, "Aw, you sensitive on the ass?"

"Fuck you man."

Rolling his eyes, Eren tossed the used towel in one of the laundry hampers located near the center row of benches in the locker room. Strutting through the space with all the confidence of a peacock, he arrived at his locker; in the back row right next to Farlan and Levi. Normally, the captain would have been long gone by now. However, Shadis had called him into his office to talk about next weeks game so he was running a bit behind--much to Eren's surprise.

Caught off guard when he rounded the corner and saw him standing there in his tight black boxer briefs with skin still dewy and slightly flushed from the shower, Eren had to mentally brace himself as the air escaped his lungs with a silent gasp. The guy was otherworldly in his beauty; an Adonis that didn't belong mixed in with the rest of them. Eyes trailing down his toned lean frame, Eren would have given anything to just taste him; to drag his hands over that perfect body and lick, bite, and kiss every inch of him.

Shaking the thoughts from his head before his lower half betrayed him, Eren looked away and unlocked his locker. He was grateful to have the metal door blocking him from view because another minute of having to look at Levi and he probably would've jumped the guy. 'This is so fucked up,' he thought to himself wondering how a high school student already possessed the body of an underwear model. Looking down at himself, the brunette frowned wondering why he wasn't as toned. They practically did the same workout and spent the same amount of time in the gym outside of school so why did Levi have washboard abs and perfect legs while he had what the other guys called an "otter-mode" body?

Sneaking another sideways glance at the captain right as he bent over to grab his pants from his duffel, the brunette could have sliced his lip with how hard he was biting it. Looking away as Levi straightened out, he scolded himself in silence while slipping off the towel wrapped around his waist and tugging on a pair of clean boxers. As he got dressed, Eren could have sworn he heard someone calling his name but he was too preoccupied focusing on not pitching a tent in the locker room. Thinking of anything but Levi--namely things that weren't sexy like his chemistry teacher and the bitter old lady down the street from his place with a gold front tooth--he was forcefully removed from his thoughts when a pale hand slipped in front of his eyes and snapped its fingers together.

Jumping to attention, Eren took a shuddering step back then turned to the side. "Shit, you scared me."

With a lopsided smirk, Levi snorted a short laugh. "I swear sometimes I wonder where you go when you zone out like that."

"I doubt you want to know," the brunette joked to hide his own anxiety. "It's not that interesting. Just a bunch of unicorns shitting rainbows and cats with laser beams coming out of their eyes."

"Right," Levi dragged out the single syllable as he discretely looked Eren up and down when he--again--wasn't paying attention. "Well, I guess I have to reiterate myself since you weren't listening. You're coming Saturday night to the party, right?"

"Hmm? Yeah. I've gone every other year haven't I?"

"Yeah but lately you've been acting weird. You're jumpier than normal."

"Just worried about my classes is all."

"Anything I can help out with?"

Pausing as he thought about the offer and what it would entail, Eren gnawed on the corner of his bottom lip. "You had Kocharian for AP chem last year right?"

"Yeah. The guy's an asshole. Why? You in his class this year?"

"Yeah. I tried talking to my counselor to see if I could switch classes but anything else would have conflicted with the my soccer schedule."

"Shit, I'm sorry." Quiet for a moment, Levi rubbed the back of his neck looking as if he were about to ask out the most popular girl in the school. "If you want I could tutor you. I'm not that great with linear carbon strands or shit like that but I know most of it alright. Or you if you want Mikasa to help you I could a--"

"I don't mind you tutoring me," Eren said with almost too much enthusiasm in his voice. Smiling awkwardly, he cleared his throat when Levi looked at him curiously. "I mean I don't mind if it's you. Mika's a bit...intense when it comes to study sessions and gets annoyed when I get sidetracked. You're a lot more chill."

"Right," the captain said, pivoting to the side to hide the slight blush dusting his cheeks. "Did he already assign you guys homework? He usually does on the first week."

Nodding with his lips flattened into a tight line, Eren could have sworn that his heart was going to break right out of his chest. "Yeah, four pages and the last problem is going to use something like four pages of scratch paper; at least that's what he told us."

"That's probably a balancing equation. If you want you could come over today after class. Mika will be be at ensemble practice so she won't be around to psyche you out."

"That'd be cool."

"Cool," the captain said before they fell into another awkward silence. "Anyways, I gotta get to class. I'll hit you up after sixth period, 'kay."

"Yeah. See ya' Levi."

"See ya'."

Grabbing his backpack and duffel, Levi left the locker room with quick fist bump to Farlan and Marlo who were on their way in from cleaning up the equipment. Heart running a mile a minute, Eren knew he shouldn't let his imagination run away from him. They were just studying at his place. Chances were that--even if Levi were slightly bent--he wouldn't be interested in him after seeing him crumble at the ruthless hands of a chemistry equation. But he couldn't help the small hopeful smile from pulling at his cheeks or the way his entire body felt warm and lighter than air.

In the midst of his elation, a thought occurred to the brunette. Today was the afternoon he was supposed to hangout with Armin since they hadn't seen each other outside of school in over a week; that being longer than usual for the dynamic duo. Because he lived right down the block from Jean and only five minute drive from Mika, he saw them more often than his friend whose parents relocated the family to Malibu earlier that year. Torn between spending the afternoon with Armin and tutoring with Levi. Tapping his forehead repeatedly against the door of his locker, the brunette pulled his phone out.

EREN: Hey Arm, would you hate me if I rain-checked on hanging out today?? I got a ton of chem hw and I need to get it done before Friday. >__<

Watching as the tag on the message went from delivered to read, Eren waited for his answer with baited breath.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Hanging out in one of the empty rehearsal rooms in the music building, Armin heard his phone vibrate on the polished wooden floor over the sound of his guitar. Brows furrowing, he blew his long sideswept bangs out of his face as he leaned down and unplugged it from its charger. Since he had taken extra courses over the summer recess, the blonde had two extra tracks in the middle of the day between third period calculus and sixth period speech and debate. Instead of going home like he could have--especially since his home was quiet literally five minutes away--he spent most of his free time practicing either the guitar, piano, or violin.

Long blonde hair slipping free from the loose bun it had been pulled back into, it brushed against Armin's neck as he read the message. Quirking a suspicious brow at the statement, he typed out his reply.

ARMIN: If you need help, I can tutor you. I took chem last year with Vu so I can lend you a hand.

EREN: Shit, I forgot about that. Levi already offered to help and he took it with Kocharian last year and I'm in that class now. But if you want to help, I could turn him down.

Laughing at his friends response, the blonde knew immediately what was up. So, with a sigh, he gave in and cut him free for the afternoon.

ARMIN: You've got Kocharian?? Damn, I doubt I'd be any help there. I hear the guy's a monster when it comes to his homework. If Levi's taken his class and passed, you should probably take him up on his offer. Sorry man. (:-/

EREN: He is a monster. He assigned us four pages of homework to be done by Friday and the last question is supposed to use four pieces of scratch paper. I'm gonna die Arm.

ARMIN: You're not going to die Eren. Just pay attention in class and ask Levi plenty of questions while you're at his place.

EREN: Thanks Armin. I'll do my best and if there's anything Levi doesn't know how to do I'll be sure to text you.

ARMIN: Alright. Keep me posted.

EREN: 'Kay. Ttyl.

Getting back to what he was doing before Eren had messaged him, Armin pulled his guitar pick away from the sticky adhesive it was attached to on the side of his Gibson SJ-200 Regal acoustic guitar. He was still breaking the instrument in since he had just gotten it for his birthday last year. The sound was less stiff and was vibrating nicely off the Sitka spruce and rosewood body and he hadn't needed to replace any of the strings yet even after playing it pretty hard a good handful of times.

Placing the pick between his bowed lips, the blonde fixed his hair--this time pining his bangs back since they were starting to get on his nerves. Part of him wanted to cut everything back to the short crop he had a year ago. However, Mikasa loved how the long hair looked on him and would often run her fingers through it whenever they were relaxing together whether it be at school or at her place; sometimes his place when his parents weren't around to embarrass him with family photo's and stories about him when he was a baby. It was ridiculous since she was there for the entirety of his childhood; her and Levi being born just a month after him so there wasn't much she didn't know about already.

Smiling faintly at the memories flashing through his minds eye, Armin began to strum lightly before breaking into the mellow main riff for "The Trapeze Swinger" by Iron & Wine. It was one of his favorite songs to play when he was feeling nostalgic; it being somewhat of a safety blanket that reminded him of all the trouble he, Eren, Jean, Mikasa, and sometimes even Levi got up to. Took him back to simpler times like when Eren threatened to run away from home when they were seven but ended up at his place with his Iron Man backpack, favorite red and blue striped blanket, and the box containing his Easy Bake Oven since he had the forethought to think about what he would eat while on his own.

Matching Sam Beam's vocals with ease, Armin fell even deeper into his well of memories as they bubbled up one by one. The corner of his lip curled into a soft smile as he recounted the sleepover's they used to have over at the twin's place, waiting until Kuchel and Ben went to bed before all five of them snuck out and set up camp in the treehouse in the backyard. Then there was the time he and Eren snuck into the circus after school and messed up their knees when they hopped the fence while running away from the bearded lady and a clown with half his face painted when they were caught snooping around the animal cages.

Singing the words "so please, remember me, finally, and all my uphill clawing" his expression light up--taking on a fonder glow--as Mikasa walked up to the open door, folded her arms with a loving smile, and leaned against the door frame. Biting his lip he winked as he wrapped up singing, "I'll do my best to make a drawing of God and Lucifer, a boy and girl, an angel kissin' on a sinner, a monkey and a man, a marching band, all around the frightened trapeze swinger." As the riff wound down, the young woman approached him, bathed in the warm light of the mid-afternoon sun that bounced off her smooth alabaster skin to create a halo around her slim form.

While Armin finished the last couple of strums, Mika leaned down once she was close enough and kissed him tenderly; the same way that he had kissed her the night he had asked her out two years ago while they were hiding from her parents in the old treehouse. It was sweet and pure with the perfect amount of pressure from his lips against hers. Toying with the loose pieces of his long hair that had once again broke free from their confines, she giggled slightly at the tickling sensation coming from his stubble.

"Sorry," Armin spoke against her lips; his bright blue eyes cracked open just enough to gaze up at her through the veil of his thick lashes. "I forgot to shave this morning."

Kissing his cheek with his face in her hands, she smiled. "It's alright. It looks good on you."

"Hmm," he hummed happily. Setting the guitar down so that there wasn't anything between them, Armin brought her in as closely as possible, kissed her lips, chin, and the palm of the dainty hand cupping his jaw. "So I got news."

"Really?"

"Eren and I aren't hanging out today. Turns out he's bogged down with chem homework and Levi volunteered to tutor him."

"Did he now?" Mikasa grinned knowingly. It wasn't a secret that Eren liked Levi and Levi had a thing for Eren. The only people that didn't know about this were the two idiots themselves. "Hopefully he makes a move so we don't have to watch them drag this out anymore."

"One could only hope."

"So, if you're free for the afternoon, did you want to hangout after my ensemble practice lets out?"

"You read my mind yet again. Anything in particular you wanted to do?"

"Let's just be lazy at your place. Maybe play a video game or something."

"Tch," Armin smirked as he clicked his tongue. "You're a woman after my own heart."

"I already have your heart, genius."

"True."

"You going to camp out here for a while longer or are you wrapping up? I was going to get something from Peet's down the street."

"I could go for some coffee."

"Then pack it in and lets go."

Laughing as she pulled him to his feet, Armin grabbed his guitar. "Aye aye captain."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Kat could tell something was wrong with Marco; had known for a couple of days now but today was really bad. He hadn't been right since he had gotten back a couple months ago. She knew part of it was because he was now living under the same roof as his homophobic old man that put more pressure on his son than a Russian figure skating coach put on their athletes to win gold in the 1980's. No matter what the guy did it was never good enough for Alec who would just find anything to nit pick at. Even when Marco had won both the 300m freestyle and the 200m butterfly, the asshole pointed out how much he was lagging because of the angle of his stroke rather than congratulating him.

But even with that, there was an added layer to this depression and the petite blonde had a feeling she knew what the secondary cause was. Unlike everyone else--Levi included--she knew the real reason why he had come back to California. He could have escaped from underneath his father's thumb had he stayed in Berlin. He could've made a life for himself and would have been separated by an entire ocean and continent from that ass wipe but he came back because he wanted to take care of some unfinished business. She couldn't understand it, even when she put herself in his shoes because Kat would have just moved on rather than dwell on something that never happened and probably never would. But it was his choice and she, like an idiot, allowed him to come back and let himself be beat down until finally regressing to the point he was at now.

Lips barely moving to the words of Radiohead's "Creep" while he toyed with a piece of his wavy dark chocolate hair, Marco reread the question he had been working on for the past four minutes. It wasn't even a hard one and, even if it were, it wouldn't have taken him that long to write something down. Marco was a genius when it came to math; was the only person in their calculus class that wasn't scared out of their wits whenever the teacher announced the lesson for that day. He wasn't there; she could see it in his eyes and hear it in the way he sighed. Her best friend was hurting and it was killing her seeing him like this. Zuzu was right when she came to talk to Kat a couple days ago in the dance studio. This was bad.

"You know," the blonde broke the silence as she continued staring at her psychology homework. "Levi's party is tonight. We're still going right?"

Scribbling something down on his paper, Marco mumbled, "Maybe. I'm not really feeling it so maybe you should just go without me."

"Oh no you don't. We either go together or not at all. I refuse to leave you here by yourself, wallowing in your depression."

"I don't want to go Kat. Half of the people there hate my guts so why should I?"

"Two people hate your guts and one of them wouldn't if you'd try talking to him again."

"I tried talking to him!" Marco snapped; his calm facade completely broken for a second before he covered his face with both hands and sighed. Falling back against the pile of pillows behind him, he stared at the ceiling. "What am I even doing? Jean hates me, Eren wants to gut me, and half of my team is wondering why I was even picked as captain. What the fuck is wrong with me?"

Resolve solidifying, Kat closed her book and shoved it into her backpack; doing the same with Marco's. "That's it."

"What?"

"Get up. We're going to that party and I will not hear another word about it. You need to get out of this house and hangout with your friends before you worry yourself into an early grave."

"Kat--"

"No back talk!" she commanded him. When she saw the shocked look in his big cow eyes, she arched a brow. "If you won’t do what's best for you, I will. Now get your ass up and change into something irresistible and don't you dare skip on that cologne. We're taking care of this tonight or I'm gonna die trying."

Unable to fight her once she had her mind set to something, Marco did as he was told. "Fine, you win. But I still feel like shit."

"That's fine. You'll be the hottest piece of shit in town and I'll be right there feeling like shit too. So go, get a move on."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was half past eleven and Levi was beginning to wonder where Marco and Kat were. Taking a swig from his beer, he scanned the crowd in case he had missed them coming in. It would be the first time in years since the three of them had gotten to hangout together and he could feel their absence grating on his frayed nerves. Connie had already spilled two drinks on the white carpet in the living room and, despite Sasha's apology for her boyfriend who literally couldn't hold his liquor, the damage had been done. On top of that was the obnoxious chatter that followed him around wherever he went. He didn't know how Whitney, Angie, and Ellie got into the party but all three were starting to drive him up a wall.

'Maybe I should grab the nearest guy and stick my tongue down his throat to get them off my back,' Levi thought to himself, smirking as he imagined their horrified expressions. 'If only Eren were around that wouldn't be such a shitty idea.'

Unfortunately for him, the brunette was clear across the open space on the other side of the living room talking with Sasha and Connie having a grand ol' time. Levi wasn't sure if it was the alcohol working its way through his system, the music, or atmosphere but Eren looked sexier than he normally did; a task that was difficult to accomplish. Sporting a pair of cuffed black skinny jeans that flattered every inch of his long athletic legs, his lucky red Converse low-tops with the Captain America patch on the left shoe, and a crisp white tee that contrasted his perfectly tanned skin, the brat was more than just a temptation. Had he been drunker, Levi would have stormed over there and ended the pining he had been enduring for the last year.

However, the captain wasn't anywhere near smashed enough to grab one of his closest friends by the collar and kiss him dirty in front of everyone they knew. Not only was he sure that he couldn't guarantee that his lower half wouldn't turn traitor, but there was the added fear of Eren freaking out and rejecting him on the spot. It was a very real probability; one that hurt Levi to even consider. So he stayed where he was, sipping on a vodka coke wishing he could be the friction in the brunette's jeans.

"If you stare any harder, his clothes will catch fire," Hanji grinned as she slid up next to him; Mountain Dew in hand since she was driving Moblit and Eld home.

"Maybe that's what I'm aiming for."

"Shit, how much have you had to drink?"

"Nowhere near enough," Levi grumbled, his eyes narrowing disdainfully as yet another cheerleader brushed up next to Eren; her slender fingers trailing down his arm as she leaned in close to whisper something in his ear. Swallowing hard as a flare of unwarranted anger rushed through him, the captain knocked back his drink then tossed the cup into the trash can. "Fuck this."

"Hey!" Hanji called after him while unintentionally drawing Eren's attention. "Where are you going? I just found you in this cluster fuck and you're leaving?"

"To take a piss."

Watching Levi head upstairs, Eren was just about to excuse himself when the front door opened and everyone in the living room, foyer, and on the fringes of the kitchen cheered together in greeting. Head whipping around to see which hotshot had arrived, his anger spiked when he saw Marco's face. 'Asshole, what is he doing here?' he wondered though the answer was fairly obvious. Once upon a time, Levi, Marco, Eren, Jean, and Kat were all good friends. They had all become close during sixth grade in junior high when Freckles switched schools; the blonde already was already a classmate at that time and couldn't have been more thrilled that her best friend was going to be there with her.

For years, their combine group of friends was the "It" crowd; the ones everyone wanted to know and get the chance to sit next to at lunch time. All of them were the children of influential people and lived close by to each other so there was rarely a day when they weren't hanging together after class. And everyone had their own unique personality that they brought to the group adding more character to the collective as a whole. But two years ago Marco had to go a fuck it all up. Ditching Jean after the guy had confessed to him without so much as an explanation--there was no greater sin he could have committed in Eren's book. He may have grown up with the Ackerman twins and Armin as well but he was closest to Jean; always had been. Even Zuzu wasn't as tight with him as he was though she was close.

Remembering the way Jean sobbed brokenheartedly over the guy, Eren felt his pulse quicken, his teeth grind, and his hands ball up into fists. If only he could punch him real hard just once, that would release some of the rage he felt every time he saw him. 'Bastard had the fucking balls to come here,' Eren thought, his brilliant emerald eyes glaring holes into the brunette across the room. But as he considered decking the guy, he felt a hand grip him by the arm since he had started moving forward without even thinking.

"Don't," Mika said; her appearing out of nowhere with Armin at her side with their hands joined together. "Just let it be."

"Let it be? Mika, that fucker is heading toward the kitchen and will probably go outside which is where Jean is. If he--"

"So what? It's not your problem. They need to sort this shit out on their own Eren."

"But--"

"Eren," Armin said, his voice holding a bit more tenderness than his girlfriends but still firm and unwavering in its authority. "Let it go."

Sneering as he clicked his tongue, he slumped down into the couch. "Whatever. You guys fucking suck." Drinking the remnants of his Jack and Coke, Eren glowered at the cup then, without warning, swung his legs forward and heaved himself up and off of the couch. "Fine, have things your way. I'm out."

"Where's 'out'?" Mikasa pried as skeptical steel gray eyes zeroed in on him.

"What? I can't go to the bathroom now? Jesus, I promise, I won't start any shit with Bott if he doesn't start any shit with Jean."

"Eren..."

"Fuck, just leave me alone and let me go to the bathroom. Jesus Christ!"

Wandering up the staircase to the second floor, Eren did exactly as he had promised and kept his distance from the guy. Maybe it was better if they did since a brawl would result with a call to the police. And, as much as he hated Marco, he didn't despise him enough to get Levi and Mikasa in trouble for it. Washing his hands after zipped up his pants, Eren splashed some cold water onto his face to shock himself back into acting normally. This wasn't him. This rage and contempt wasn't who he was and he hated feeling like this especially since they had all been so close not too long ago. But he couldn't just "let it go" as Armin and Mika had so readily suggested. What Marco did wasn't just a betrayal to Jean, it fucked up the entire group dynamic. They were all fractured now; no longer the team they used to be and it hurt.

Staring at himself in the mirror with both hands placed on the sinks edge for support, the brunette wondered since had he become such an angry person. Setting aside all the bullshit with Marco and Jean, Eren had--over the years--become more easily irritated and riled up. Part of it he knew could be blamed on his teenage hormones since, biologically, everyone got a little angsty and moody during their teen years. But there was an added layer to his frustration. Something that had crawled under his skin and made its home there like a festering sore.

Unable to look at himself a minute longer, Eren pushed away from the sink and exited the bathroom; entirely ready to go back down stairs and fake a smile until he heard music coming from down the hall. Recognizing the song immediately, he changed course and headed in the direction of the melody. Not even caring to knock as he closed in on the door the sound was muffled behind, Eren turned the knob and entered the space.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Marco felt his stomach lurch when he stepped outside and saw Jean hanging out on the lounge chairs with Zuzu, Annie, Reiner, and Bertholt by the lagoon pool. Amber eyes flittering away as he laughed at something Annie had said, their gaze met for what felt like an eternity. It was so cruel how, after all this time, those pools of molten gold could still send his heart soaring over the moon. Jean had always been beautiful in Marco's eyes and always would be even if the guy hated his guts. He had wanted to tell him how he felt years ago before he was forcefully shipped off to Germany for school. Had come so close when they were falling asleep in Jean's bed that night since it was too cold for him to sleep in a sleeping bag on the ground; that being the excuse they both used to get closer.

He remembered them laying there with their backs turned to each other; too awkward to move until Marco shifted onto his other side. He remembered wanting to kiss the three beauty marks that formed a perfect line up the nape of his neck and how his throat tightened at the thought of how his skin would feel. That was when Jean turned over, their eyes meeting much like they were now but so much closer. Those perfect lips that whispered his name as his gaze softened with sleep. That hand that wandered up to hold his--Jean's hand being so much warmer and gentler than his. And that beautiful smile that had formed when he said "I love you" in hushed tones before he fell asleep. Marco couldn't say a word; couldn't say "I love you too" no matter how much he wanted to. So instead, he had scooted closer and kissed Jean in his sleep. Hours later he was on a plane bound for a country that wasn't his regardless of his parentage, being carried farther away from the one thing in his life that finally made sense.

Yet now, those eyes that used to regard him so fondly and with overwhelming adoration gazed back at him with painful remorse. Were they that far gone? Could they not fix this and get back what they had once had? Tripping over his shoes just a little when Kat nudged him forward--a loving look in her eyes--Marco overcame his hesitation and the overwhelming fear bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Handing her his drink, his legs moved on their own now. And, as if by the mercy of some unseen saving grace, Jean set his cup down and walked over to meet the brunette halfway. Over the course of the last week, something had snapped between them. They fought, yelled at each other, and said some things they shouldn't have. But what they had yet to say was what they were actually thinking.

Forgetting about the seven other people out there, they stood face to face for the first time in two years without spewing venomous words at each other. Marco could see the exhaustion in Jean's eyes and Jean could see the cracks in Marco's composure from carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. They both felt like idiots for behaving so childishly but were too proud to admit it before that moment.

"You look like shit," Jean joked dryly as his eyes wandered over the brunette's physique; regarding the slight slump in his posture and the way he couldn't hold his gaze for too long.

"I feel like shit."

"Same."

Looking up, Marco was again caught in a sunrise of glittering gold. "I'm sorry," he said; his anxiety almost betraying him. Swallowing hard, he made himself continue. "I'm sorry for leaving the way I did. I'm sorry for not texting or calling or emailing you to let you know I was still alive after dropping off the face of the planet like that. I know saying I'm sorry won't fix what happened or erase it or the pain I put you through but..." Marco hesitated when Jean only continued to stare at him; the intensity of his gaze never once faltering. "But I was hoping we could start over; maybe. Life without you around sucks and I just...damn it, why is this so hard to fucking say?"

Not needing Marco to say another word, Jean cracked a small smile. "Alright, I got it. All you had to do was say you were sorry for being a jackass Marco."

"Really?"

Laughing at how hopeful his eyes looked, the blonde chuckled faintly as he closed the space between them and gave him a friendly punch to the arm. "Yeah, really. All I wanted was an apology. You don't need to tell me the whole story right now or ever if you don't want to. Just a simple 'sorry for being a jerk and leaving' was all I wanted to hear from you."

It was then that Marco, for the first time in a long time, smiled brightly; the same genuine expression that made his cheeks dimple and his eyes sparkle. "Sorry for being a jerk and leaving. Will you forgive me?"

"Yeah idiot. I forgive you."

"Cool."

"Cool," Jean smiled back.

In that same moment, a rapid succession of bare feet pattering against the ground closed in on them as Kat grabbed both boys by the wrists and hauled them into the pool with her. Around them everyone cheered, hollered, or whistled to congratulate the two on making up. Almost everyone in their senior class had had it with their bickering so it was a relief when they made up; and on their own no less. When the three came up, they were splashed by the waves that rippled outwards as other party-goers joined them. It didn't matter that everyone was fully clothed; some of them still wearing their shoes. What counted was that everyone was at long last having fun.

Spinning around when he heard Jean laughing, Marco's expression lit up more when he saw that he was the one he was laughing at; well, more like laughing with. Turning his head when the blonde splashed him, the brunette splashed back then flinched when Kat hammer-fisted the water sending a giant eruption in every direction. For the first time in a very very long time, Marco was happy. Nothing else mattered in that moment as all the weight and responsibility and regret he'd been carrying around for years flew away like leaves in the wind. For once, he could just be a normal teenager and have fun. And maybe, perhaps in the future, he could get around to telling his first crush that he was still crazy about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided that with this fic, I'm going to dedicate the End Notes section to posting the lyrics for the song that inspired each new installment. Every chapter will have a primary song it's structured around and, therefor, named after. This time around is "Young Blood" by The Naked and Famous to set the pace for this teenage dramedy fueled by angst, romance, brooding, fluff, miscommunication, and all the awkwardness of our youth that we wish we could forget but look back on to laugh at how silly we were. So here, from me to you, is anthem for the high school au you always wanted.
> 
>  
> 
> *YOUNG BLOOD*  
> by The Naked and Famous  
>  
> 
> We're only young and naive still  
> We require certain skills  
> The mood it changes like the wind  
> Hard to control when it begins
> 
> The bittersweet between my teeth  
> Trying to find the in-betweens  
> Fall back in love eventually  
> Yeah yeah yeah yeah
> 
> Can't help myself but count the flaws  
> Claw my way out through these walls  
> One temporary escape  
> Feel it start to permeate
> 
> We lie beneath the stars at night  
> Our hands gripping each other tight  
> You keep my secrets hope to die  
> Promises, swear them to the sky
> 
> The bittersweet between my teeth  
> Trying to find the in-betweens  
> Fall back in love eventually  
> Yeah yeah yeah yeah
> 
> As it withers  
> Brittle it shakes  
> Can you whisper  
> As it crumbles and breaks  
> As you shiver  
> Count up all your mistakes  
> Pair of forgivers  
> Let go before it's too late  
> Can you whisper  
> Can you whisper  
> Can you whisper  
> Can you whisper
> 
> The bittersweet between my teeth  
> Trying to find the in-betweens  
> Fall back in love eventually  
> Yeah yeah yeah yeah  
> The bittersweet between my teeth  
> Trying to find the in-betweens  
> Fall back in love eventually  
> Yeah yeah yeah yeah


	3. Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco and Jean take the first steps to rebuilding their friendship, Levi and Eren question theirs, and the dance team performs for the first time of the fall semester....
> 
>  
> 
> SOOO YEAH: I didn't plan on this chapter being as long as it turned out to be but it didn't want to end until it reached the natural conclusion it did. That and I really didn't want to end it without showing some dance action so yeah, sorry not sorry. Anywho, I hope ya'll enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.
> 
> A tout a l'heure mes amis!
> 
> Your martian overlord,
> 
> -Mars

Quick stepping and swinging to the hypnotic funky beat of "Andromeda" by Gorillaz, Jean practiced his doubles piece with Kat who couldn't have been more light on her feet. Blending electric slide, vogue'ing , nu-disco, and numerous forms of swing dance together into a seamless flow, they were perfectly matched. Flipping her over his shoulder with ease then grabbing her wrist to slide the petite blonde through his spread legs finishing with a hop and a spin on Kat's end, the two dance captains were all smiles.

They hadn't had a doubles practice this close to perfection in a month which, for them, was a long time considering that they were the most advanced members of their crew. Sliding up behind her smoothly, Kat ran her hands up her chest, neck, and through her hair while he slipped his downward over her ribs, waist, then hips before slapping them in tandem with the song. Jumping away from him, he took her by the wrist to spiral her back into his arms for a tight embrace with them swaying close together--hips bumping against one another and her nose brushing his chin.

It was obvious why so many people had thought that they were together before Jean had come out a year ago. They moved so well together and knew the little tells and ticks of each others bodies as if it were their own. However, this near-perfect unison was the end result of many years spent practicing for long hours, fighting over how Jean was always two steps ahead or how Kat improvised too much, and them battling their awkwardness every step of the way. Both captains were totally bent with Kat already spoken for by a sweet yet ruthless lacrosse player from Louisville High School for girls. This as well as their own insecurities about their bodies made it exceedingly difficult to get a handle on things at first. But after two years in junior high and all of high school coupled together on the team, their ability to read one another was virtually telepathic.

Joining their hands together for the last swing portion that called for all quick stepping and spirals in and out with steep dips, a confident smirk tugged at the corners of Jean's lips. This was his favorite section of the performance since they were both talented steppers and rarely ever missed a beat. Mirroring his partners fancy footwork with ease, they spun away from each other, jived back together, and looped their arms around one another like lovers would. Then, as was their signature finish, Kat spun away from Jean like a flower waltzing away on a breeze but was brought back when Jean gave a firm yet gentle tug on her dainty wrist. Recoiling back at high speed, she pressed her hips flush against his with their stomachs touching and her left leg curled around his thigh as she leaned back like a ballerina doing bar exercises.

As they held the pose--both breathing heavy--there came an enthusiastic clap from the studio entrance. Jean had forgotten that he had left it cracked so that it wouldn't get too hot. And, as luck would have it, Marco happened to be passing by on his way to the south gym that exited to the pool. Leaning in the entryway framed by the warm glow of the morning light was the swim captain clad in his black joggers, his dark blue swim team hoodie with "Bott 1" on the left arm, his favorite maroon low-tops he'd had for ages, and his long parka with his duffel slung across his chest. Hair still sticking out in every direction in its untamed glory with dimples punctuating his handsome face, Jean felt his heart flutter just a bit at the sight. It had been a week since they reconciled and went back to being friends but there, lurking in the back of his mind, were thoughts no "friend" would think. Not one that didn't crave for more than just a wholesome friendship.

"Fuck, you guys are amazing," Marco smiled as his clapping quieted. "No wonder the dance team gets the most funding. You two move perfectly together."

Basking in the praise like the peacock she was, Kat grinned wildly as she all but swaggered over to her freckled friend and gave him a kiss on the cheek when he bent down.

"Thanks sweetlove," she winked as he smirked back at her with a short laugh. "It took us long enough to get to this point. Jean used to stomp on my feet all the time when we were first paired together in junior high."

"And you would slap me in the face almost every time I spun you back in," the blonde retorted. Facing Marco, Jean swallowed hard on the pleasant shiver spreading through him when those deep chocolate eyes fell on him. "Heading to the pool?" he asked as they bumped fists.

"Yeah," the brunette confirmed with a softer wash to his expression. "You should swing by some time and check out how the new members are doing. I could always use your sharp eye to help me pick out who needs a little bit of extra help on their form."

"Sounds more like you're trying to recruit me."

Shrugging nonchalantly, Marco chuckled with one brow slightly arched. "Maybe. I can't say that it's the same being the captain when you aren't around."

"I'm sure you're getting along fine without me."

"Maybe but it's still weird," the brunette admitted, his voice only an octave or two above a whisper. Eyes locking when Marco lifted his gaze from the floor, he stared at Jean's lips--soft and dusted pink--before looking into those wells of pure amber gold. "It sucks not having The Warden around to crack the whip when I start getting sluggish."

Heart skipping as Marco resurrected his old nickname and used it in such a fond manner, Jean offered him the best smile he could manage without giving away how chaotic he was feeling on the inside.

"Maybe I'll swing by after practice when Kat and I finish up here." Smiling when a blindly perfect smile split Marco's pillowy lips, the blonde swallowed again when he finally noticed that Kat had left the studio leaving them alone together. "See you later then?"

Biting his bottom lip, Marco breathed a laugh then shrugged the strap of the duffel up his shoulder. "Yeah, sure," he grinned while burying both hands in the pockets of his parka. "See ya' around eight?"

"Yeah," Jean said; his voice almost breaking with a tremble. "See you."

Right as Marco turned to leave, Kat came back in asking what she had missed. However, despite her best efforts to conceal her motives, Jean saw that cocky cat-ate-the-canary grin lurking behind her seemingly innocent expression. She had played them both and this wasn't the first time. Saying goodbye to the brunette, the woman spun on her heels ready to fire off the questions sitting prime on her tongue when Jean turned his back with a firm resounding "no."

"Just this once Kat, mind your own business," he requested.

"Only if you promise not to act like an idiot like you always do."

Rolling his eyes, Jean shot her a small glare. "This is between Marco and I. Leave it be, okay?"

"I will but only if you two don't start going off the rails again. I'm serious."

Sighing as she grabbed her things and sashayed out of the studio to go shower, Jean shook his head. "That woman will be the death of me."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The start horn rang through the air followed by the sound of half a dozen spring boards rattling as the swimmers shot off the blocks and into the water. A foot further ahead of the pack with a dolphin kick so powerful it propelled gave him an added seven inches of distance between himself and his teammates was Marco. Tall and lean with bands of muscle wrapping around him in perfect form, it seemed as if he had been born and bred in the water. His streamlined frame zipped from one side of the massive outdoor pool to the other end with little resistance. Switching from freestyle to butterfly stroke with ease as he tapped the start wall and spun around for his third lap, Marco's arms flew up with streamers of water following like veils connecting from him to the shifting crystalline surface below. Broad shoulders stretched and dipped as he moved; his form remaining as level as humanly possible while swimming that quickly.

Jean almost couldn't believe his eyes as he watched from the fourth row of bleachers in the aquatic center. The last time he had seen Marco swim it was one of the most impressive sights he had had the pleasuring of witnessing. But this... This was otherworldly. It were as if the brunette was made entirely of water like some shape shifting being that slinked through the pool without a care. Marco was so fast that if Jean had taken his eyes off the guy, he would would lose track of him. He was mesmerized. Totally and hopelessly enchanted and in awe of how far his friend had come over the years. Freshman year, Marco couldn't do a breast stroke to save his life. Now he was knocking the exhaustive style out of the park while maintaining his half-pool lead; and his competitors were on the varsity team to make things more interesting. 

'Guess all that time in Germany paid off,' Jean thought to himself as he watched Marco flip under water so that, when he surfaced, he could go straight into the backstroke. Unable to take his eyes off the brunette's toned torso and taut stomach as he swam, the blonde bit the inside of his cheek. "Fuuuuck," he groaned under his breath without thinking.

"You may wanna pop your eyeballs back into your head before someone catches you," Kat joked with a devious look as she marched up the bleachers then plopped down next to Jean. "Sup Blondie? How was French class?"

"Class was fine. Just the same basic shit that we covered yesterday," the blonde said, ignoring her pet name allotted to him as well as the first half of her greeting. Even after getting caught he couldn't take his eyes off of Marco. It was pointless anyways since his co-captain was already well aware of how he felt. "We hanging out before the basketball game tonight?"

"Yeah. There ain't no way I can dance on an empty stomach. You down for Sumo Galaxy?"

"Dude, something that heavy right before we do a halftime? Seriously?"

"Fine, then what do you suggest?"

Pursing his lips while his eyes followed the curve of Marco's spine as it dipped below the waters surface as he did his second lap with the butterfly. "How 'bout The Flying Fish?"

Smirking, Kat couldn't stop herself. Not when he made it so easy. "You sure it's seafood you want to eat and not something else currently flying through the water?"

"Fuck you Kat."

"Am I really the one you want to be fucking?"

"Oh my God, I'm out," he stated dryly as he rose with a low grunt.

As Jean got up to leave, his heart nearly broke free from his chest when he caught sight of Marco exiting the pool. Water rolling down his toned tan body in pearls, he resembled a Greek god more than a high school student. The muscles in his arms were pulled tight while the ones beneath the freckled surface of his chest flexed while pitting his collarbone giving it even more definition than before. Hair slicked back with water trailing down the finely sculpted features of his lovely faces and dripping off the slope of his perfect nose, Jean's eyes would have fell from his head had his attention not been drawn back by the sound of Kat cackling like a witch behind him. Then, to further his humiliation, she called to the brunette before her dance partner had time to correct his expression.

"Ooh baby, that's one fine ass Bott-y," she hollered with an accompanying cat call topped off with an enthusiastic "ow!"

Looking up at them with a towel slung over his shoulders, Marco flashed the duo that devastating smile with a jerk of his chin. It seemed as if the guy was completely oblivious to how handsome he was or perhaps he thought nothing of it since, after shrugging on his parka, he walked up the bleachers--right up into Jean's personal space with nothing but the jacket and tight swimming jammers on that left very little to the imagination. Pinching her nose, the brunette laughed as she tried to bite his fingers as they retreated. He had always loved Kat's strangeness; it being one of the things that brought them together as children since he was so socially awkward it was painful and she lacked any and all mental filters.

"Jesus, you're like a piranha," he chuckled; cheeks dimpling and eyes alight with humor.

"Well I'm hungry as fuck so," she trailed off then snapped at his fingers again as he tried to tapped her elfin nose a second time. "Knock it off or I seriously will bite you."

"Wouldn't be the first time."

"Psh, whatever." Glancing at Jean who was doing his best not to look like he was guilty of eye-fucking his friend, Kat smirked. "Hey, are you, Zuzu, Lee, and Eren down for food after class? Jean and I were going to grab something quick to eat before the basketball game started. You guys should totally come."

"You guys are going to the game tonight?"

Admitting his defeat, Jean sat back down. "Not for leisure, dude. We're dancing tonight; well, the team is."

"Really? I didn't know you guys did that for basketball games. I thought the dance team had their own separate competitions."

"We do but we use games to work on our routines and test them on audiences to see how certain moves go over with people since we've had issues in the past."

"Issues?" Marco probed with an inquisitive brow arching high.

"Apparently some of our routines were overly sexualized," Kat stated though the rolling of her eyes could be heard in her scoff. "Fucking prudes, seriously it's like the Rangers and Highland Razorbacks were still prepubescent brats stuck in their junior high years."

"You're starting to sound like Levi, Kat," Jean snorted a laugh.

"Well I'm starting to understand his perpetual state of annoyance the more I come into contact with whiny brats like the Razorbacks. 'Inappropriate touching and lewd gestures?' I'll show them a lewd--"

"Moving on," Marco interjected, "I'd be down to grab something after class. Where were you guys thinking?"

"Well Jeany wants sushi but I'm in the mood for ramen or something like that. What do you think? Any ideas?"

Biting his bottom lip while shoving both hands into the pockets of his parka, the brunette paused for a long moment. "How much time do you guys have between class and the game?"

"Five hours so we've got time to kill," Kat answered. "Why? Whatcha got in mind Space Babe?" she asked while ignoring the perplexed look Jean gave her.

"You down for Mon?"

Eyes lighting up like a firefly, the petite dancer sat up straight with a catlike grin. "I'm always down for Mon."

"Then we should go there since it has something everyone will like."

"Epic."

"Wait, what are we talking about now?" Jean asked, now thoroughly confused.

"You'll find out soon enough," Kat chirped as she rose and hopped her way down the bleachers. "Come on Baby Spice, we gotta get going to Chem before Professor Duffy skins us."

Rolling his eyes, the blonde stood up while fighting the urge to rake his eyes up and down Marco's toned frame one more time. "See ya' man," he sighed, bumping fists with the brunette before walking down the aluminum steps. "Oh yeah," Jean added as he turned around with a bright smile on his face, "Great job with practice today. You fucking slayed that relay. Later Marco."

Gaze following the dance captain as he left the aquatics center, Marco smiled shyly with a hand rubbing the the nape of his neck. Chuckling lightly, under his breath he murmured, "Later Jean."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Fingers gliding alone the smooth keys of the piano with some extra pep in his step, Armin's smile grew as he continued playing the overture for the play until there was a sharp change with trombones and the accompanying brass and string instruments. Mellowing out as the flurry of actors and actresses on stage froze in place, a single spotlight beamed down on Mika who stood at the center of it all. Waiting for her queue, her red-painted lips quirked into a crooked smirk.

"Come on babe, why don't we paint the town," she said in a sultry tone that she usually only used when she and Armin were alone. "And all that jazz. I'm gonna rogue my knee's and roll my stockings down. And all that jazz. Start the car, I know a whoopy spot where the gin is cold but the piano's hot. It's just a noise hall where there's a nightly brawl. And all that jazz."

Gracefully draping herself over the piano in her authentic fitted flapper dress--strands of beads tapping over the polished wood of the Steinway her boyfriend was playing--she was no longer Mikasa. She was the seductive murderess, Velma Kelly as she removed the fake cigarette from the musicians lips and pretended to take a short drag from it. Giving him a mischievous wink, Mika continued on as if he weren't eyeing her with hunger swirling in those deep pools of heavenly blue. Shimmying, grinding, and bumping up against the other performers as if it were a Broadway show, she had no problem keeping up with the building pace. Vocals ringing true and clear throughout the auditorium, none of the team members in the back of the vast space had any trouble hearing her.

Strutting across the stage in her shiny black Mary-Jane heels, fishnet tights, and glittering beaded dress, she commanded everyone's attention with a simple flutter of her dark lashes and flick of her wrist. Fiery, bold, and devastatingly feminine, it was any wonder how the guys on stage kept their composure rather than melting into a puddle of goo. Chances were it had a little something to do with her boyfriend being a little less than twenty feet away from the main stage. Or it could have been because everyone performing on stage had waited three years for the school district to approve of the massively suggestive play. 

Unlike the other productions the theater club had performed in the past, Chicago was the stuff of nightmares for all of their parents who objected strongly to the show since it portrayed violence, drug and alcohol use, and eluded to "risque behavior." But the students and their teacher, Mrs. Barrett, had won the school board over in the end. And, as was to be expected, Mikasa landed one of the two lead roles with Hitch, her friend since freshman year, opposite her as Roxie Hart. Together they were a sizzling force to be reckoned with feeding off of each other's energy. Whereas Mika was fierce and bold, Hitch was sassy and bewitching. They balanced each other out perfectly which was why they were always cast together while their understudies admired from the sidelines. It was all anyone could do really--admire the two young women as they rocked the stage as the song closed out.

Smiling as the entire team applauded them, namely Mika since she was the one carrying the majority of that songs performance, the two friends exited stage left. Walking down the steps, Hitch headed to the break area in at the back of the auditorium to cool off and text Marlo to see if he was out of news club yet. At the front of the space, the other songstress grabbed a Red Vine from the large tub on the snack table to her left and bit down on it with a teasing smile as she approached Armin. Waggling her eyebrows as she leaned against the piano, Mika batted her lashes with another wink.

"Hey stud, you come her often?" she cooed, still partially in character.

Biting his lip, the blonde couldn't help himself from staring at the sweet between her cherry red lips. "Often enough," he finally said, a grin playing across his own lips as she tilted her head with an arched brow; her perfectly brushed out finger waved hair bouncing with the motion as the light radiated off it like a halo. "Mind if I have a bite?"

Smiling growing, she leaned over so that they were inches apart. Biting the short end of the candy vine, Armin savored the soft touch of her lips on his; not minding one bit that her lipstick was probably staining his mouth. Laughing passed locked lips, they stared at one another for a moment--refusing to part even when Sasha yelled at them from catwalks to get a room. Rather than breaking the embrace, Armin reached up to tangle his fingers in Mika's silken black hair. Deepening the kiss, he hummed with delight when he felt the teasing swipe of her tongue over his lip before she separated with a finger pressed to his pillowy lips. It was so easy to get caught up in her. Like magic, a single glance or smile could get his blood running and his hands itching to feel her smooth skin. He was under her spell; besotted and hopelessly so.

"I didn't know that the pianist got Velma Kelly in the end," Levi quipped from the nearest entrance in which he leaned against the doorpost with a sly smirk on his face and arms folded across his chest. Shoving away from the wood, he approached the happy couple; giving Armin a flick on the shell of his ear. "Geeze, you guys can't keep it in your pants for a second, can you."

Shrugging, Armin didn't even try to deny it. "What can I say, your sister's hot."

"Ew, not what I wanted to hear."

"Sorry dude, but I can't lie."

"I thought you were a musician, not Honest Abe," Levi snarked. With a gentle hand placed at the small of Mika's back, he gave her a sweet peck on the cheek. "How are rehearsals going?"

"They're alright," she admitted though he and Armin could both see the fatigue starting to show in her posture. "I'm a little tired but it's not too bad."

Both young men glanced at each other before the brother spoke. "Well, if you want, Marco, Eren, Jean, and I are going to Mon for a bite before the basketball game tonight. Kat and Zuzu are gonna be there too. You guys should come with. It'll be fun and it'll give you a moment to relax."

"I'm alright. I should really practice the Cell Block scene since I--"

"Mika, you've memorized every step and every word of that song," Armin stopped her before she could turn her twin down. "You've been rehearsing this performance for months nonstop. I think you can take a break without the production falling apart at the seams."

"But Arm--"

"Listen to the man," Levi urged since she'd never take his advice on this kind of thing. He was just as bad as she was except the obsession was substituted with soccer. "Please Mika. You need to rest your body some before opening night next week. 'Kay?"

Conceding to their wishes, Mika raised both hands in surrender. "Fine. You boys win. Happy?"

"Yes," her brother smirked; at long last, she listened to reason.

"Very," Armin smiled warmly as her wrapped his arms around her slim waist and pulled her close enough so that he could rest his chin on her stomach with both bright eyes gazing adoringly up at his girlfriend. "We can take my car so that you can relax on the drive over."

"Sounds good," she beamed lovingly down at him as her slender fingers combed through the long golden tresses of his sideswept bangs. Forgetting her brother was there for a moment, Mika kissed Armin on the forehead then nose. "Wanna go to the game tonight and try to distract Jean while he's dancing?"

"Always baby."

"For fucks sake you guys, get a room. Preferably not hers since I can hear you guys from down the hall," Levi groused while rolling his eyes at their overt PDA.

Clicking her tongue just like her twin always did when he was annoyed, Mika looked at her brother with a flat expression. "You'll be no better when you get yourself a boyfriend."

"As if I have time for one."

"Oh you'll have time when Eren pulls his head out of the sand," Armin joked as his grip around Mikasa's waist tightened teasingly.

"Give me two reasons why I shouldn't kill you," Levi glared down at the blonde.

"Because we're childhood friends and your sister would kill you if you did."

"He's right, I would."

"What the fuck? I'm your brother! You're fucking twin!"

"Yeah and I love you but I also love Armin," she said again with the same flat expression.

"Traitors."

"We just want to see you in a happy relationship with something that isn't a soccer ball. That may have been cute in Cast Away but lets get real Levi," the blonde tried to say without wearing a shit-eating grin but couldn't help it when Levi kicked him in the shin. "Ow!"

"Shut up, I didn't even kick you that hard damn brat."

"Old man."

"Shitty hipster."

"Hey, I am what I am," Armin shrugged.

Rolling his eyes, Levi gave up with a small smile. "Anyways, you guys are coming right? I need to text Marco and Kat how many people are coming so that they can grab a big enough table."

"Yeah, we'll go," Mika said; her attention now back to combing her fingers through Armin's long golden hair which she had freed from the loose bun it had been pulled back into. "Who are you riding with? You can come with us if you want."

"I already told Eren I'd drive."

"Ohhh, looks who's making a move," his twin teased with a playful glint in her silver eyes. "You going to try and ask him out before you guys make it to the restaurant or are you going to save it for after the game?"

"Oh my God, fuck off, both of you," Levi groaned now thoroughly annoyed. "I'm leaving. Be at Mon by four o'clock."

As he turned to leave, Armin took one last jab shouting, "Make good choices!" Laughing wildly as the soccer captain flipped him off, the cheeky blonde watched him exit the building. "They're so screwed. That ride is going to be so awkward."

"Yeah, especially after what happened at the party."

"Wait, what happened at the party?"

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Breezing through the Topanga Canyon pass that was, for once, untainted by the hideous traffic that usually plagued it, Levi and Eren were at the head of the pack, having passed Jean, Kat, and Zuzu who were all riding with Marco. Shifting into fourth gear, he chuckled when his co-captain gave out a startled "holy fuck" as the engine of the hunter green Jeep Wrangler roared as they sped up. Sneaking a glance at Eren from beneath his dark aviator sunglasses, Levi couldn't help but find what he saw to be heartwarmingly endearing.

Legs folded with the seat reclined just a few notches back, the brunette sang along to "The Zephyr Song" by Red Hot Chili Peppers while searching for the next track to play. Hair glinting in the sunlight as the wind rushing in through the open windows ruffled his unruly crown of cinnamon brown waves, Eren rolled his head to the side so that he could watch Levi change gears as the one light in the pass switched from red to green. Eyes following the elegant slope of his arm up to his shoulder and the delicate long line of the captains neck, their gazes met a moment later with Eren faking an innocent smile and Levi offering him a gentle smirk.

It was terrifying, catching the way the brunette was looking at him. They had been friends since birth and knew everything about one another. Their dark secrets, their fears, their hopes and dreams, everything was laid bare in the open like books cracked open at the spine. Nothing was hidden except the one thing they were too afraid to admit they wanted. For Levi, losing Eren would be like losing a part of himself. The brat was already there when he was born making it impossible for him to imagine what life would be like without that blinding smile and glittering green eyes that captured all the beauty and youth of summer. 

They were trapped by their fear yet now haunted by a kiss that shouldn't have happened. Both of them had been drinking the night of the party and weren't thinking straight. But he couldn't help himself; couldn't stop from acting on instinct when Eren came into his room and laid down next to him on the bed. Their faces were inches apart with Levi's legs pointing toward the foot of the foot of the bed while the brunette's rested atop the short wooden headboard. Smile widening when their drunken singing matched up, Eren was the first to break with a laugh that bubbled up from within him, making his faintly freckled cheeks dimple. He was so beautiful. So painfully breathtaking that Levi could only stare in a state of wonder as he watched the display. 'I love you,' he thought as the laughter settled between them and their eyes met. 'Please, don't look away.'

There wasn't any time to think as Eren closed the space between them and gently pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. It was so warm; so innocent like a secret being whispered between them when they were children. When they parted, neither spoke. They just leaned back in for an embrace that Levi would remember for the rest of his life. The way their lips fitted together so perfectly and how hot Eren's mouth was when it opened to him--allowing their tongues to smooth over one another's. The tingling sensation of the brunette tangling his long fingers in his dark hair. That throbbing in his chest as a moan sounded between them--unsure and uncaring of who's it was simply because they were too caught up in the kiss to think twice about it. He wanted so much more. Wanted to release the greed in his heart that he'd been holding back and tell Eren everything. Tell him he'd been in love with him for years, that he wanted them to be a couple and that he wanted them to go to the same university after graduation because being without him physically hurt.

But Levi kept his words locked in his heart. Didn't lose himself even when that perfect smile washed over him--Eren's cheeks red from the exertion and his lips swollen from the kiss. He remembered opening his mouth to say something but the brunette must have caught the change in moods and lifted his palm to cover his mouth before he could speak. It were as though Eren knew he was going to apologize; to say he didn't mean it even though he did. Instead, they just stared at one another for a long moment until Eren gave a closed lip smile and said they should try to sleep off the drinks to avoid a hangover. They had fallen asleep on opposite sides of the bed facing away from each other. Yet by daybreak, the brunette was curled around him with his face nuzzled into the space between Levi's shoulders. How he wished for more mornings like this; to fall asleep next to him with their legs tangled together and bodies sharing heat.

Even now as they drove together, Levi could feel the same comfortability he did waking up in Eren's arms. Maybe things wouldn't turn into a complete catastrophe if they started dating. Maybe things wouldn't go sour and he'd lose his best friend. They had fought before but always made up in the end. Could they do the same thing if the dynamics changed and they were a couple? Too often Levi had watched good friendships die because the two people involved had started going out and it was too different for them to handle. What if it was too much for him and Eren? Heart sinking at the thought, he didn't even notice he was making a strange expression until he felt a finger poke his temple.

"If you get too wrapped up in your head you'll doom us both Levi," Eren joked with a small chuckle at the end. "What's up? You look like you're going to be sick."

"I'm fine."

"Bullshit. If you aren't feeling okay, I can drive us back to the school or drop you off at home."

"I'm fine," Levi insisted though the lingering thoughts settled in the pit of his stomach with a nauseating presence. "Just let it be."

Unsatisfied with his answer, Eren glanced over his shoulder to the road behind them before grabbing the steering wheel and forcing Levi to pull over. Thrown off kilter by the sudden movement, the captain shouted a string of obscenities, as the Jeep jerked over to right with a screech of the wheels. Panicking, he quickly shifted gears before parking on the shoulder and turning the engine off.

"What the fuck was that? Are you trying to kill us you suicidal bastard?!" Levi shouted.

Ignoring him, Eren unbuckled and opened his door. "Get out."

"What? No. You get the fuck back in."

"Get. Out."

Furrowing his brow, Levi growled under his breath as he fought with his seatbelt. Unbuckling, he hopped down from the drivers side and started making his way around to the passenger side. He thought Eren was going to force him to hand the keys over when they met halfway at the front of the Jeep. However, the captain was caught off guard once more when the brunette reached out with his hands holding either side of Levi's face and pulled him in for a long frustrated kiss. Taken aback by the gesture, Levi froze for a moment before reacting; no longer able to fight himself over this anymore. With one hand knotting in Eren's silken hair that smelled faintly of green tea and jasmine, the other gripped the fabric of his shirt at the small of the brunette's back. Mouths opening with tongues seeking the warmth that they had tasted a week ago, they deepened the embrace with Eren pushing Levi against the hood of the car. They couldn't stop; wouldn't until everything was silently conveyed through the mingling of their lips.

"You're so stubborn," Eren breathed, his voice low with a hint of humor peppering his tone. Holding Levi's face in his hands, he looked into those pools of dreamy starlight. "Sorry, but I couldn't hold myself back anymore. You're so transparent sometimes and I was getting tired of waiting for you to make a move."

"You knew?" was all Levi could say; his voice a rasp with lips swollen from the force of the kiss. "For how long?"

"A couple weeks. I started connecting the dots when I caught you staring at me in the locker room. After the party, I knew but you woke up the next day acting like nothing happened so I gave you your space."

"Why? Why the fuck would you do that if you knew I liked you?!"

"Because I didn't want to risk you hating me."

It was such an honest innocent confession that it nearly broke Levi's heart. "Like I could ever hate you," he smirked as he reached up to tentatively comb his fingers through Eren's hair before they came down to settle on either side of the brunettes jaw. Leaning forward, Levi kissed him soft and sweet. "I love you. Have for years."

"It's the same for me. I love you too Levi," Eren confessed as he kissed Levi before burying his face in the crook of the young man's shoulder. "I'm pretty sure it's always only been you. So please, don't act like this didn't happen and go out with me. Be my boyfriend so I can hold your hand at school and glare at the cheerleaders that hit on you."

Kissing the crown of Eren's head, Levi sighed as his cheek rested atop that fragrant wavy brown hair. "You gonna try asking me out or do you want me to?"

"Levi, will you go out with me?"

Chuckling, the captain nodded. "Yeah, I'll go out with you."

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

"Yeah, and I'll be your boyfriend. We're exclusive right?"

"Uh huh," was all Eren could manage at the moment as his shoulders shook softly from the emotional strain finally lifting. "As if I'd ever want anyone else." Head tilting up, he kissed Levi's chin then lips then relished the feeling of their cheeks rubbing together as the captain tightened his hold on him. "Seriously though, I love you."

Smiling, Levi kissed his cheek. "I love you too."

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It was torture to the nth degree watching both the hostess and waitress at Mon hit on Marco when all Jean wanted was for both of them to trip on their shoe laces and smack the wall on their way down. What was worse was how unwarranted this extreme jealousy was. The brunette wasn't his and they were supposed to be friends which meant that, eventually when the guy did start dating someone, he'd have to sit there and pretend like he was supportive of the relationship. It wasn't like Jean could blame them though. The guy couldn't turn off his charm to save his life. With a smile as bright as his and a laugh that sounded like the embodiment of pure joy, how could anyone resist. And those damn dimples and freckles didn't help either!

Chewing on his straw as the sandy blonde waitress batted her lashes and smiled with lips that had a fresh coat of lipgloss applied to them, his glare could have killed had she caught it. It were moments like those which had Jean wishing he had been born a girl since he would have stood a chance at grabbing hold of this untouchable dream sitting next to him. Or if only Marco batted for both teams; even that would be fine. But alas, he had to admit defeat and watch as the brunette smiled back with a little laugh as the waitress served up the worst pun about swimmers since the birth of "Orange you glad I didn't say banana." 

Glowering when the appetizer of edamame and gyoza arrived, Jean caught sight of the looks both Kat and Zuzu were giving him. The dancer waggled her brows as if she knew what he was thinking and the swimmer arched a single brow with a impish smirk because she did know exactly what he was thinking. He hated how transparent he was to them both; it being the product of a near lifetime of knowing both women. Yet he was saved from further embarrassment when Mika and Armin came in and took a seat at the table Kat had called in advance to reserve. Shortly after they had started eating, Eren and Levi arrived; holding hands no less. When Jean saw the connection, the frown he had been wearing was swiftly replaced with a cheeky grin. Kat and Zuzu glanced over their shoulders but it was Mika who said the first words.

"Fucking finally!" she exclaimed with a sigh of relief at the end. "The angst fest is over and I can hangout with you guys without feeling like I'm watching Twilight. Ugh," turning to Armin, she dramatically leaned against his shoulder while clutching at his shirt, "it's finally over, Armin. At long last."

"Someone stop her before she hurts herself," Levi quipped as he flicked the back of her head before sitting down in the chair next to his twin. "And if you assholes all knew how we felt, why the fuck didn't you say anything?"

"For the same reason people watch shitty TV like The Bachelor, we like drama," Jean smirked before dodging a soy bean the captain had thrown at him. "Hey, you idiots needed to figure it out on your own. It wouldn't be the same if we spelled everything out for you and you both know that."

"Psh, whatever," Levi rolled his eyes as he turned away to look at the menu with Eren.

"Yeah, whatever he says," the blonde snorted a laugh. Brows furrowing when he heard Marco laughing next to him, Jean looked to his side. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just the dynamic between you guys hasn't changed at all."

"Dude, at this point, I doubt it ever will," Mika said as she took a sip of her cherry Coke.

"Well I hope you guys stay the way you are," the brunette smiled with a genuine fondness in his gentle brown eyes. "You're great the way you are."

Fighting the blush rising in his cheeks, Jean ignored the comment and continued reading over the menu; never once thinking he'd be this eager for the waitress to come around just so that the mood would change and the focus of the conversation would shift. But even after she had come around and took their orders, the rosiness didn't completely leave his face since every so often Marco's hand would brush over his under the table. Their thighs occasionally bumped, knees would knock without the brunette thinking twice about it, and the arms would touch almost as if he were consciously trying to inch his way closer to Jean. He was about to say something but was cut off when Kat almost choked on her vanilla Coke.

"Dude, you okay?" he said with concern in his eyes as she coughed. Watching as she unplugged her phone from the wall charger, he wondered what was happening. "What's wrong?"

"Look at the time. We've got two hours to get back to campus and rehearse before the game starts and the 405 and PCH always clog up with traffic around this time."

Opening up Google maps to check the traffic heading back, Jean's eyes nearly fell out of his head. "Fuck! It says it's going to take us close to an hour to get back. Holy shit what are we gonna do?"

"I'll call Ary and tell her tha--"

"It's chill guys, I'll get you back there in time," Marco said nonchalantly as he waved over the waitress. Putting down his black AX card, he refused to let anyone pay for lunch. "What routes are the most choked up?" he asked, turning to look at Jean who almost winced at the fire in his earthen eyes.

"Uh, the 405, PCH, and Topanga Canyon."

"'Kay." Signing the check, he grabbed his messenger bag then tossed Jean, Kat, and Zuzu a puzzled look. "Well, shall we?"

"Dude, there's no way you can get back to campus that fast," Eren contested; still holding onto a bit of his resentment for the other brunette.

"One word Jeager: Germany. Come on guys, up!"

Hot on his heels, the three followed the brunette to the parking lot and piled into the the blue Ford Flex. As they buckled up, Marco asked Kat, who was riding shotgun, to open up Waze and check where police were reported to be spotted on the Mulholland Drive route. Light finally switching on when he heard the question, Jean made sure his seatbelt was strapped on tight. He had almost forgotten that the brunette had gotten his license while in Germany and had learned how to drive on the autobahn. Telling Zuzu to make sure her belt was secure, he grabbed the "oh shit" handle right as Marco backed out of the parking spot, quickly spun the car around, changed gears and shot off down the street. 

Zipping through traffic as if they were the only car on the road, Kat didn't seem bothered in the least by the speed at which they were moving while Jean and Zuzu held onto the handles for dear life--flinching every time they came within a foot of another car. Yet, as close as they got, Marco never once drifted on the turns or ran any lights or missed any four-way stops. He was in complete control of the car and switched from one gear to another as if he drove race cars in his spare time. For all Jean knew, he could have considering the guy lived in Berlin for two years and had a penchant for going fast whether it be on land or in the pool.

They slowed down for a brief moment as they passed by a spot reported by another Waze driver where cops were known to camp out. As expected, a squad car was hiding behind a hedge of bushes as the rounded the corner turning onto Mulholland. Waiting until they were at the top of the cliffside road, Marco floored it pushing sixty in a thirty-five speed limit zone. Weaving in between lanes, he kept his eyes on the road while quietly singing along to "Reptilia" by The Strokes. Kat knew exactly the kind of music he listened to while driving after the numerous times she had visited him in Berlin. It was why she was so relaxed in the front seat with her legs folded and head bobbing to the drums as she looked through his music library.

Sliding back and forth in his seat as the car took the turns without really slowing down, Jean wondered who had taught Marco to drive so aggressively. Or was this just the usual for him since he looked so at ease? Clearing the infamous canyon pass in record time--at least for Jean it was--they slowed down to meet the speed of traffic on the PCH which was three steps above a crawl. As Kat switched the song to something more mellow to set the pace for the rest of the ride, the two in the back breathed a sigh of relief. Out of nowhere, Marco laughed as the dancer up front picked "Caress Me Down" by Sublime as their slow track. Zuzu cringed at the opening lyrics groaning "no" while Kat flashed her a wicked little smile. However, Jean couldn't understand the reactions since he had never heard the song before. But when he started listening to the lyrics, his brows furrowed and his nose wrinkled with obvious disgust.

"Really Kat?" he whined from the back as he leaned forward between the two front seats.

In response, she looked over her shoulder with the dirtiest grin and sang "And it went uh, and the girl caress me down. And it went uh, and the girl caress me down. Uh, and that's the loving sound."

Glancing away from the road for a moment, Marco laughed at the blonde's reaction. "Oh come on Jean, it can't be much worse than what you've heard in the locker room."

"Uh yeah, it's kinda worse. I mean, 'mushroom tip?' Seriously? Dude, I don't know what school you went to where that kind of shit was normal."

"You'd be surprised how horny the guys are in Germany."

"I can only imagine," Jean grunted as he flopped back against his seat. "What kind of school did you go to anyways?"

Looking at him in the rear view mirror for a second, the brunette answered. "A private school that focused on college prep. They had a program specifically for student athletes so my schedule was great but left very little time to go out and have an actual life. I only got to see my friends during class and once in a while on weekends. I even had winter classes so I didn't get to fly back home for Christmas while I was studying there."

"Dude, that blows."

"Yeah, it did. But my dad insisted that it was for the best."

"Rotten bastard," Kat grumbled from the front seat. "Oops, did I say that aloud?"

Rolling his eyes, Marco continued. "The school itself and the people were chill though. I met some good friends while I was there."

"Then why did you leave?" Jean asked without even thinking about it; that being something he did regularly.

The car fell silent as they awaited his response. Both Kat and Zuzu knew why he had come back--the dancer having been told and the swimmer having guessed it without much effort. But Jean was genuinely curious. It had been something he had been thinking about nearly every day since the brunette's return. Why? Why would he come back when he had it so good over there? He could have gone to an Ivy-League level university in Berlin without having to lift a finger and could have swam for their junior Olympic team had he stayed for another two years; it being a dream he knew Marco had had since they were twelve. But the guy gave it up and came back to California. What was so important that he'd go and drop everything to come back to that overpopulated state with terrible traffic and horrible air pollution?

"I have my reasons," he said without sparing Jean another glance.

"Which are?"

Pulling up to campus, Marco parked the car and unbuckled his seatbelt. "Maybe I'll tell you later. But you guys gotta get going or you'll be late to rehearsal."

As much as Jean didn't want to leave the conversation with that as the final answer, he had no choice. They may have made it back in less than an hour but they still needed to warm up, practice the routine a few times with the crew, change, and then go over the routine once more before hitting the court. Biting his lip, he gazed into those haunting pools of moody brown before giving in. With a sigh, Jean grabbed his duffel, slung it over his shoulder, and exited the car after thanking Marco for lunch and the ride back. As the blonde and Kat walked up the path leading to the school gates, Zuzu waited until they were completely out of sight before saying a word.

"You know you aren't fooling anyone Marco," she said matter-of-factly. "You'll have to tell him eventually."

"I will." Eyes staring at the path as if Jean was still there, he smiled weakly. "He's not ready yet so I'll wait."

"How do you know he's not ready yet?"

"I just do." Looking at his co-captain, Marco smirked. "Trust me."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Breathing steadily in through his nose and out through his mouth while crouching down in the corner furthest away from the court, Jean spent the minutes before they had to go out and perform to calm himself down. He had always had performance anxiety and it hadn't gotten any easier over time. Whether he be diving, swimming, or dancing, he could still feel the burning gaze of the spectators on his skin. Could sense their judgement--be it good or bad--creeping up his spine and settling in the pit of his stomach. He could hear the thoughts of the opposing dance team without a word having been spoken. They didn't need to say anything when their annoyance was so clearly written across their faces.

"Jean," Kat said quietly as she knelt down next to him with a hand on his shoulder. When his eyes opened and met hers, she looked at him for a moment. "It's time."

Exhaling heavily, his eyes stared at the metal gym doors at the end of the hall as the light on the other side turned off and the cheers rose. Half of the people that came to the school games came primarily to see the dance team perform. They were the best in the state and had won every competition since Jean had become captain with Kat at his side. But it had only served to add to the pressure he felt before each dance. All he had to do was tune them out and let the music sink into him. But in those seconds before the track came on he could feel his stomach lurch and his mind spiral. It was what was happening now as he rose to his feet.

Walking down the hall, his teammates pushed away from the walls without saying a word; each falling into line behind him. With one final glance to Kat who stood proudly to his left with a confident smirk on her elfin face, Jean breathed out again then pushed the doors open. A wash of cheers and excited screams erupted as the south entrance opened and, one by one, the glow in the dark X's on the ground were covered. Waiting for the electronic interlude played out, Jean almost jumped when the lights came on to reveal a full house. Shocked eyes taking in the sheer volume of people present, the world slowed and all sound blurred together. He could hear his heart rushing in his ears and feel the sweat covering his palms which tingled as his fingers fidgeted at his sides. It wasn't until his gaze landed on a familiar face in the crowd that all worry and fear left his body and a small smile found its way to his lips.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Marco jumped in place as the entire stadium screamed and cheered as the lights dimmed and the south end doors opened. He knew everyone loved the dance team. Had been told that the crowd at their competitions was triple what the football and soccer teams pulled in; something that he couldn't believe but started to when he saw how many people were in attendance at a basketball game that was of little importance. Watching as the glowing X's taped onto the ground were covered one by one, he blinked wildly as the lights suddenly came on which was followed by another wave of cheers. 

Standing at the center of the court in all black jersey shorts and different black tops with matching white high-top Converse shoes was the full varsity dance crew--all thirty-two members. It was the largest team at Pacific Palisades and the biggest team on the west coast with somewhere close to sixty members; including varsity and junior varsity. At the front of the group was Jean wearing two tank tops layered over each other--the top one black and loose and the bottom one fitted and stark white--with a black band painted around his left bicep with a "C" at its center written in white. Kat, who was dressed similarly, had a band painted around her right bicep with "CC" written in yellow.

They stared at each other for what felt like minutes. Marco could see a flicker of panic behind the captain's amber eyes. Knew he was getting that same old performance anxiety that he battled against when he was on dive team years ago. Smiling, the brunette mouthed the words "breathe, you got this," he was happy to see the guy actually listen to his advice and relax. When Jean returned the smile with a wink Marco wasn't sure he intended to give, his heart skipped a beat.

The moment was broken as the music began to play opening with "Lose Control" by Missy Elliott featuring Ciara and Fatman Scoop. In perfect unison, all thirty-two shifted to the left then half of them moved the other way; pop-locking in time with the bass. While Jean led the left side that mirrored everything the right side--led by Kat--did, the third line of dancers in the back waited until the two groups had created vertical lines between them making six perfect lines. Zuzu seemed to be on her own vibration setting when the team assembled in this order leaving Marco to wonder why though it was only for a second.

Moments later the dancers in the back back-flipped down the lines that seemed to open and close as the other team members stepped in and out of the channel. Every other person doing a flip down the lines had to somersault over a crouching dancer and then again over one as they slid low over the polished floor. Midway through the performance the lights flashed on and off while UV lights in the catwalks overhead beamed down on the crew lighting up whatever whites they were wearing. 

Marco had to plug his ears as the girl in front of him and Zuzu screamed Jean's name like she were meeting her favorite celebrity. 'Fuck, are her ovaries exploding or something?!' the brunette cringed as she cried and bounced in her seat saying to her equally crazy friend "did you see that?! He looked at me! He looked at me!!" But it wasn't her he was looking at as the crew members paired up for the doubles portion. In between grabbing Kat by the waist and flipping her over his shoulder before pulling her back up between his legs, Jean snuck quick glances at Marco for reassurance. He hadn't expected him to be there but his presence was felt in that calm expression and warm smile. Biting his lip as he watched the guy start bobbing his head to the beat, the blonde finally--really--stopped worrying and amped up his game.

As the song entered the final chorus and verse, all the dancers popped their chests and rotated their bodies in place so that they could challenge the opposing teams dance crew. Tongue teasing the tip of his canine, Jean winked at the captain of the Malibu High Barracuda's varsity team. He had been a thorn in Liberty Mitchell's side for years and the sour look on her face only made Jean's cheeky smirk grow until his cheeks hurt from smiling. Lifting a hand, he curled a "come hither" finger then howled as the final step sequence started. With Kat's division ticking and fade stepping while Jean's side pop-locked and shuffled, they all regrouped into their original formation, then--row by row--dropped to the floor with one leg sticking up before the lights turned off.

Everyone cheered on both sides of the stadium while hundreds rose to give a standing ovation when the lights came back on. Taking a bow, the Palisades dance team vacated the space with Jean giving Marco one final glance over his shoulder. Smiling brightly, he couldn't have been happier. He had always wanted to dance for Marco; to have him there in the crowd to see him perform though he never thought it would actually happen. But there he was, awestruck and clapping with a broad smile on his beautiful freckled face. Biting his lip, Jean winked at the brunette--this time on purpose--before turning to leave with Kat doing a running jump to hitch a piggyback ride back to the locker room. Back in the stands Marco was left breathless. Seeing Jean so energized and pulsing with a liveliness he had never seen before, he couldn't stop the fluttering of his heart or the furious rush of blood heating his cheeks. The blonde was beautiful; majestic and magnificent. While he may have been one hell of a swimmer and a better diver, Jean when he danced was unreal and awe-inspiring. He was perfect in every way. Absolutely perfect.

Wearing a dreamy smile as he watched the team vanish, Marco could feel himself falling even harder. "Wow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said in the end notes of the previous chapter, the titles are all themed and play into the plot; almost like a teaser trailer. This installment is a bit brighter and more upbeat as is the song from which it takes its name and inspiration from. Originally, this was going to be a heavy chapter but I decided to hold that back and let the plot flow in the direction it wanted to go. So here, from me to you, is "Fun" by the ever-fierce and fabulous Blondie.
> 
>  
> 
> *FUN*  
> by Blondie
> 
> You’re all over me, can’t deny it  
> You make the room come alive  
> You know the problem with you  
> You’re too good to be true  
> You’re my heart  
> I can’t get enough  
> You are the one I decided
> 
> You’re my fun  
> When I’m down  
> You pick me up again  
> You pick me up again  
> You’re my fun, too much fun  
> I get the feeling that you’re changing my mind
> 
> Take me back home again  
> I wanna make love again  
> Take me back home again  
> Ooh yeah yeah  
> You’re my fun  
> Too much fun  
> Isn’t fun
> 
> The deafening sound of a heartbeat  
> You’re smiling at me, not with your eyes  
> You know the problem with you  
> You’re too good to be true  
> You’re my heart  
> I can’t get enough  
> Time after time, you’re on time  
> I get the feeling that you’re making me blind
> 
> You're my fun  
> When I’m down  
> You pick me up again  
> You pick me up again  
> You’re my fun, too much fun  
> I get the feeling that you’re changing my mind
> 
> Take me back home again  
> I wanna make love again  
> Take me back home again  
> Ooh yeah yeah  
> You’re my fun  
> Too much fun  
> Isn’t fun
> 
> You know the problem with you  
> You’re too good to be true  
> You’re my heart  
> I can’t get enough  
> And time after time, you’re on time  
> I get the feeling that you’re changing my mind
> 
> You’re my fun  
> When I’m down  
> You pick me up again  
> You pick me up again  
> You’re my fun, too much fun  
> I get the feeling that you’re changing my mind  
> I get the feeling that you’re making me blind  
> I get the feeling that you’re making me blind
> 
> You’re my fun  
> When I’m down  
> You pick me up again  
> You pick me up again  
> You’re my fun, too much fun  
> I get the feeling that you’re changing my mind
> 
> Take me back home again  
> I wanna make love again  
> Take me back home again  
> Ooh yeah yeah  
> You’re my fun  
> Too much fun  
> Isn’t fun


	4. Across The Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We all need someone to catch us when we fall down. Jean is no different as his health takes a sharp turn in the opposite direction.

Marco could not have felt more rested or elated than he did that morning when he woke up. It had been a month and some change since he and Jean had reconciled and their relationship was finally back to the way it had been all those years ago. Rolling over, a soft smile painted his face when he saw the blonde still asleep on the other side of the queen sized bed, curled up on his side and the blankets tousled about his legs. Following the line of beauty marks that mapped the back of his pale neck, Marco reached out with his left hand and silently traced them from the first dot down to the third that sat just above his shoulders. As the brunette ghosted his fingers over the flawless skin, he felt Jean shiver beneath his touch.

For the past few days, the two young men had gotten into the habit of meeting up after class for lunch, hanging out at Jean's place while they studied, and passing out after playing survival games or Mortal Kombat for a few hours. They listened to music, laughed as they caught up on what they'd missed over the years, and enjoyed dinner with Ezra and Jackson when they had the night off; usually coming home with Chinese takeout from the Lotus Bistro which they ate while watching b-rate horror movies that were so awful they were funny. It was the happiest Marco had been in years. He never would have dreamt that things would heal between them this quickly but was grateful they had. The only thing that would make things anymore perfect than they were was if his father would stay in Germany for the rest of his senior year so that he wouldn't have to sneak around to hangout with Jean. Ymir and Marco were fine on their own and it wasn't as if Alec showed much interest in their lives if it didn't directly benefit the family's reputation.

Retracting his hand as Jean rolled over, now came Marco's favorite part of these sleepovers. Waiting for the moment those golden eyes opened, the brunette smiled when the dreamy haze was blinked away and those glittering pools of honey fell on him. Whereas most teenagers were still growing into their adult bodies, Jean had evolved from an awkward kid into a beautiful creature that existed in some dreamlike state between reality and fiction. His face had all the sharp masculine features that graced the pages of fashion magazines and possessed a smile that could light the hearts of anyone lucky enough to see it in passing. But what Marco loved the most--what had caught his attention all those years ago--were his eyes that shined like the sun in the early morning.

"Hey," Jean rasped; his smooth voice rough from sleep. "You just wake up?"

"Yeah, I was forcefully ejected from my dream by the garbage truck driving down the street."

Sputtering a laugh, the blonde rolled his head back onto the pillow so that he could catch some of the light coming in from the window behind them. "I forgot that the trash days are different for every neighborhood." As the words left his mouth, a sudden cough escaped him lasting long enough to raise concerns.

Furrowing his brow, Marco watched as it grew in intensity then dissipated just as suddenly as it had happened. "Hey, are you alright?"

"Yeah, it's nothing. Just my stupid asthma acting up."

"You sure? That cough sounded pretty bad."

"It's nothing Marco," Jean groaned as he sat up though the moment he was vertical, he instantly felt lightheaded.

Watching him for a long moment as the blonde found his bearings, Marco's concern spread. "Maybe you shouldn't go to school today. You look a little paler than usual."

"Dude, it's fine. I just need to shower." Grabbing his navy blue towel that was tossed over the desk chair, the blonde had to stifle another cough; fighting the prickling sensation at the back of his throat. "You can go after me. Also, it's cool if you want to borrow some sweats and a t-shirt so that you don't have to wear the same thing you did yesterday. Just grab something from the closet."

Briefly greeting Ezra as he headed down the hall toward the kitchen to start breakfast, Jean quickly shuffled into the bathroom then collapsed against the door as a violent cough racked his body. It felt as if he had swallowed tacks and was now in the process of expelling them. Hands trembling and ribs aching, Jean stood on shaking legs as he stumbled forward with a hand reaching for the medicine cabinet. Opening it, he grabbed his inhaler before falling to the floor again. Shaking it as best as he could, the blonde pressed down on the top the moment the device met his lips and took a deep breath. When the first dose didn't work, he took another then held it in his lungs for as long as he could, slowly exhaling now that the cough had subsided.

Laying with his back on the black and white tiled floor, Jean watched the colors of the flowers outside dance across the ceiling while he waited for his heart rate to come down. Covered in a cold sweat with his finger tips still trembling every couple of seconds or so, the young man prayed for this to just be a random asthma attack. The last time he had gotten sick Ezra had to take him to the hospital where he stayed for four days. With the homecoming game happening that Friday, there was no way he could afford to take any time off. Jean had to perfect the massive dance number the entire crew--both JV and varsity--would be performing during the games halftime and he had to do it before Wednesday morning so that the team had time to practice.

"You're fine Jean," he said to himself; keeping his voice low so no one heard him. "It's just another asthma attack. You're fine."

After showering and getting dressed, the two young men sat down for breakfast with Ezra and Jackson who had taken over for Jean's father when he caught him cooking after working all night the day before. Kissing his boyfriend on the dark ebony skin of his neck, the older blonde thanked him with a quick peck to his cheek. Jean and Marco thought nothing of it, carrying on as usual--even yawning at the same time when the two lawyers sat down across from them. Ezra had been open with his sexuality from the beginning and his late wife didn't care if he came home in drag or wearing a suit since they loved each other regardless of what was on the outside. It was normal for Jean when he was picked up from elementary school by his father wearing a different wig or lipstick. However things stopped when Jacqueline--the blonde's mother--passed away a few years ago before he started his freshman year of high school.

She had been sick for a while and the leukemia was getting more aggressive every time she lapsed. Then, one morning, her body just gave up and she passed in her sleep. It wasn't a painful death and didn't take long; something that the doctors told Ezra while he wept with her cold hand cupped between his. Even now, he still wore her ring around his neck on a thin leather band that could easily be hidden behind his work shirts. Sometimes Jean would catch him slipping it onto the pinky of his left hand with a sad smile on his face. But, even though the wounds her passing left behind would never heal, the young man was grateful that his father had found a partner as understanding, devoted, and supportive as his mother. 

Watching as Jackson kissed Ezra's cheek while Ezra chewed his food, Jean couldn't help but smile. His old man had spent the better half of his life working, being a good father, a loving husband, and a champion for those harmed by domestic abuse. He was so fixated on helping others that he had forgotten to take care of himself. If Jackson hadn't been hired by the firm Ezra worked at, Jean doubted his dad would have been as happy as he was now. They were perfect for each other really; crazy about one another and it showed in the way they looked at each other and the way their fingers twined together until their hands were completely joined.

Looking up as he heard his son cough, Ezra's 'Jean Alert' automatically jumped to high when he heard how deep the dragging was in his lungs. "Jean," he said gently with a calm tone as he let go of Jackson's hand and took hold of his kids. "Is it an attack?"

Jean could only nodded as the coughing grew.

"I'll grab his inhaler," Jackson said immediately as he rose from the dining room table. "Bottom shelf of the medicine cabinet, right?"

Jean shook his head as he wheezed. "It's....in my...room." Another painful drag through his lungs as fire engulfed his chest. "Nightstand....on top of...it."

Needing no further instruction, the man left to go retrieve the rescue inhaler. While he was gone, Ezra rounded the table and crouched down right in front of his son. Holding his face in his hands, he couched Jean through the attack. Taking deep breaths in then out with him, his heart broke out into a full gallop when the teen grabbed hold of his wrists while trying not to choke. He felt so helpless, sitting there watching his only child--the light of his life--struggle for air with tears streaking his flushed face and fear in his eyes. Telling him to breathe, Ezra was about to start crying himself when Jackson returned with the inhaler.

Shaking it, Jackson didn't trust Jean's unsteady hands with the device. Instead he gently pressed it to his lips and delivered the first dose. After a minute when that wasn't enough, he pushed down on the top a second time; waiting until the teenager's convulsing had stopped. For a long moment, the four of them hung in disbelief as Jean regulated his breathing. Marco was especially rattled since this was the second time this had happened this morning. The blonde thought he had pulled the wool over his eyes by waiting until he was in the bathroom to before coughing but the walls were fairly thin. He had heard every painful wheeze and gasp for air. Had wished that Jean would stop being so damn prideful about having asthma and let him help him.

Pressing his lips to Jean's forehead, Ezra was shocked by how warm he was. "Jesus, you're burning up. No wonder you're coughing like this."

"It's fine...dad," the young man protested though weakly.

"No it is not fine Jean. You have a fever!"

"I can't miss class. Seniors...are only allowed...ten days a year to miss. I don't want...to use them...yet."

"Jean!"

"Ezra," Jackson said. Placing a firm hand on his partner's shoulder, he gave him the look that said 'calm down.' "Marco," he spoke, looking over to the brunette. "Jean can't drive to campus like this. You brought your car, right?"

Marco nodded. "Yeah."

"Would you take him to class and keep an eye on him today? If he gets any worse, take him to the nurses office immediately and call either my cell or Ezra's," he stated firmly as if he had done this countless times before. Writing his number down on a paper napkin on the table, he handed it to the kid. "The first one is my cell phone. If that doesn't work, call the second one. That's the direct line to my office. The other two are Ezra's cellphone and office numbers."

"'Kay," the brunette agreed though with trepidation as he slipped the napkin into his pant pocket. "Are you sure he's well enough to go to class?"

"Even if he isn't, the kid will just leave the house once we go to work and drive himself to school. He's done it before."

"Can all of you stop acting like I'm some fragile brat?" Jean snapped, now fully recovered as he pulled away from Ezra's kind hands and grabbed his backpack before he stood. "I'm fine. It's a small fever and a cough. I'll live. It's not like this hasn't happened before."

"Jean," Ezra snapped with an almost glacial edge in his amber eyes as he rose, standing just an inch taller than his child though possessing a commanding aura. "You will not argue with Jackson and I on this. You know how things get when you're sick. If you have another attack at school, I'm picking you up and taking you home. End of discussion."

"Fine, whatever." Shrugging his backpack up his shoulder while trying to hide how embarrassed he was, Jean stared at his father and his outstretched hand then looked up at him. "What?"

"Keys."

"You can't be serious?"

"Very."

"Dad--!"

"Just give him the keys Jean," Marco ordered even though he had been trying not to push anyone's buttons.

Glaring at the brunette to his right, Jean fished his car keys out of his pocket, disconnected the house keys from them which he slid into his jacket pocket, then slapped them down in his father's hand. "Happy?"

"Yes. Now get going before I feel like an even shittier parent."

Rolling his eyes, the teen kissed Ezra on the cheek then hugged Jackson. "I'll be fine you guys. Have a good day at work and I'll see you when I get home."

"Marco," Jackson called as they headed toward the door. "Remember what I told you."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eren stared at the note that had been folded up and crammed through the slot of his locker with an expression of both offense and confusion. This was fourth hate letter he had found in the last week. Glancing over his shoulder to the right when he heard a group of girls laughing under their breath, he watched as they stopped and turned away but not before he caught a glimpse of those devilish grins. It had been a month since he and Levi had started dating and two since they had gone public at school. The brunette knew it was risky since his boyfriend was coveted by nearly a third of the girls in the senior class. It also didn't help that his ex, Cassidy Singer, was the captain of the girls soccer team and had it out for Eren who had screwed her chances of rekindling the relationship.

Staring him down as if he were an enemy on the field and she had control of the ball, Cassidy snickered something along the lines of "he's probably blackmailing him with a drunk fuck" before closing her locker and walking past Eren; her crow black eyes glaring daggers into him as she moved through the hall. She wasn't trying to hide her disgust or contempt; had made it very clear that she wasn't going to let this go without a fight. Forehead pressed against the locker, Eren growled deep in his throat. Why couldn't people just mind their own fucking business and learn to let go?! Eyes opening when he heard Bert greet Levi from his locker at the end of the hallway, the brunette quickly shoved the note in his pocket and forced the best smile he could manage without it coming off as fake.

"Hey babe," the captain said casually as he slipped his arm around Eren's waist and kissed the corner of his lips. "How was chem?"

"Fine," Eren said with a tight smile. "How was physics? Does Zakharova really throw chalk at the students that fall asleep in the back of the classroom?"

"No, he claps the whiteboard erasers together over their head," Levi smirked. However his expression fell a bit when he saw the unease in Eren's eyes. "Eren, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing. I just woke up with a stomachache today."

"Did you want to walk over to the nurse's office?"

"Nah, I'll be fine."

"If you don't--"

"I'm fine babe," Eren insisted. Glancing around when he saw how much attention they were attracting, he bit his lip while fidgeting in Levi's grasp. "Really, it's okay. I just need to eat something."

Levi didn't believe him--not for one second--but relented. "'Kay, well let's swing by the student store and buy something to eat before heading to Mr. Kidder's."

"Dude, there is no way I'm eating in his class. He'd nail me in the face with one of his frog beanie babies."

"You can eat on the way to history class, genius."

"Oh, right."

Levi rolled his eyes and smiled. "Right. Let's get going before he really does throw a beanie baby at us."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The cords of the harp played through the south gym followed by the smooth gentle rasp of Lady Gaga's voice as "Telephone" began to play. As she sang "I'm kinda busy. K-Kinda busy" the first group of ten shot up from their crouching positions on the ground followed by the second, third, and fourth group in the back of the diamond pattern. At the front was Jean leading section one as they incorporated Gaga's dance into their own signature brew of pop-locking and quick stepping. It was Kat's idea--well, hers and Whitney who was a section leader in the varsity group--to dance to the pop anthem at their first official competition of the season. It was also their idea to cast Jean as the lead "Gaga" which put him front and center for everyone to see.

In a way, the decision made sense since he had mass appeal while dancing. Regardless of how oversexed the routine was with them dropping to their knees mid-song and practically dry humping and grinding the floor his composure never broke. In fact it took on an edge that almost dared the viewers to call them out. However today there was something about him that was off. The captain was hitting all his marks and with the same power and presence as always, but he looked tired and more flushed than usual.

Still, Jean ripped through the rigorous routine, easily adapting the femme fatale dance moves to something just a little more masculine. Dressed in a black cut-off tank top that read "Sick as F@#K!" on the chest with armholes that dropped to his ribs and black joggers that clung to his slim hips just below his navel with the legs hiked up to his mid-calf, he was every bit the eye candy the girls around campus knew him to be. It was criminal how easy he made everything look from popping his chest and grinding his hips slowly in a circle as they dropped it low to springing to his feet and rapidly executing twenty-seven different dance steps without missing a single beat. 

Carding a hand through his damp ash blonde hair as he rotated his pelvis from side to side, Jean ignored the freshman girls on the other side of the gym that had ditched class to watch the dance team rehearse. He could hear their squeals from the other side as they obsessed over the seniors. Could feel the eye of their camera phones focusing on him since the majority of the young women present were part of what his co-captain called the "Atomic Blondie Squad" that all had the hots for him. Could sense the shockwaves of their jumping when they got a good picture as he did a quick spin and dropped to his knees before his designated partner for the pairs portion pushed her foot to his back following which he turned and leaned back--while still on his knees--until his shoulders were pressed against the polished wood of the court. 

Stifling a cough as his partner--a senior named Aryanna or "Ary" for short--grabbed him by the wrist and helped him to his feet, his stamina began to dive as they entered the final portion of the routine. The last minute was always torture during rehearsals but today it was worse than climbing Everest. Fighting with every step he took, he couldn't hold out anymore and began coughing as they entered the final step sequence. Blinking back tears as his lungs started seizing, Jean fell to the floor before the song had concluded. Wheezing with his trembling hands shaking as the clutched the fabric of his shirt, the blonde curled onto his while the entire team panicked.

Rushing to his side, Kat put his head on her lap to keep his airway open while ordering Whitney to run to his locker and look through his gym bag for his inhaler. As the dancer booked it to the boys locker room the co-captain then told Thomas go get the nurse because Jean couldn't move from where he was without risking injury. When his coughing worsened, Kat asked someone to grab her cellphone. Struggling to keep a level head as she waited for Aryanna to return with it, she told Jean that everything was going to be fine; that help was on the way and the coughing would stop soon. She had seen him during one of his asthma attacks but this was something else. This wasn't just his lungs deciding they didn't want to cooperate anymore.

Noticing that he was sweating more than usual and that all the color had fled from his face, Kat's brows furrowed. Even his lips were pale. Leaning over, the co-captain pressed her lips to his forehead; eyes going wide when she felt how hot his skin was to the touch. Pulling away immediately, Kat stared at him for a long moment as all the pieces fell into place. This wasn't just an asthma attack. When Ary came running back into view and handed her co-captain her cellphone, she unlocked the screen and scrolled through her contacts. First she sent a message to Ezra telling him Jean was having a bad episode and needed help. Second, she called a certain individual she knew would likely want to know about this.

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Stuck somewhere between awake and nodding off, Marco struggle to stay awake during another one Mr. Diaz's long winded lectures about the economic situation in the US. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy economics class. The brunette just would have liked it better if his teacher wasn't as old as time and changed the monotonous pitch of his voice from time to time. 'I wonder if his wife gets as bored as we do listening to him go on and on,' Marco pondered as he watched the mans mouth move but only heard a droning "blah, blah, blah." Huffing a sigh, he slumped back into his chair with his head rolling to the side.

Staring out the window in the classroom door, there was a brief flash as someone ran by. Blinking twice, he could have sworn it was Thomas Wagner from the varsity dance team. 'But they're in practice right now,' the brunette thought quietly. Looking around, it was obvious no one else had noticed. Or maybe they had and thought nothing of it. But the lecture came to a grinding halt with all eyes turning to him when Marco's cellphone went off. Cringing when he heard Kat's ringtone--"Hey Mama" by the Black Eyed Peas--cut through the air, he mentally kicked himself in the ass for forgetting to put the damn thing on vibrate. Then again, she wouldn't call in the middle of class.

"Well go on," Mr. Diaz said a displease expression. "Answer it."

Biting his lip as he buckled under the weight of everyone's eyes, Marco tapped the green answer icon and held it up to his ear. "I'm in the middle of class. Could you--"

"Jean's having an asthma attack and collapsed in the middle of practice," Kat said quickly before he could finish.

Eyes blowing wide as he slammed a hand down on his desk, Marco glanced to his teacher. "I'll be right over." Ending the call, the brunette grabbed his book and backpack before rushing to the door. "Family emergency! I gotta go!" he said as he fled the scene. 

He knew he'd have hell to pay for leaving class like that but he didn't care. All Marco could think about in that moment was running as fast as he could to the south gym. 'Hang on Jean,' he thought as he grit his teeth while pushing to go faster. 'Please, just be breathing when I get there.'

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Kat had already given Jean one dose from the rescue inhaler had had stashed away in his duffel bag but it had done little to nothing by way of calming the coughing fit he had been enduring nonstop for the last two minutes. Shaking the device as she readied it for another dose, her eyes snapped up as she heard someone shout her name. A sigh of relief came when she saw Marco racing over; dropping his bag and books the moment he was inside the gym so that he could run quicker. Coming to a skidding halt, he dropped to his knees right next to her with both eyes fixated on Jean.

Marco couldn't have looked more agonized than he did in that moment. Watching as the blonde heaved in a ragged gasp of air then choked as it got caught when a cough rolled out of him mid-breath, the swim captain sat there for a minute completely still; petrified by fear and the uncertainty of what he should do. Turning to Kat, his eyes had already begun to fill with that familiar glassiness as they searched hers for an answer. Hands shaking as she pressed the inhaler into his palm--unable to be in control of the situation anymore--Marco watched as she rose to her feet and backed away. Despite being as tough as nails, Kat couldn't take handle things like this; couldn't watch someone choke in her lap like a fish on dry land.

Steeling himself, he rotated Jean onto his side with the blonde's head resting on his thigh. Bracing him by the shoulder, Marco shook the inhaler once more then pressed it to Jean's lips and gently urged his mouth to close around it before pressing down on the top. When he heard him breathe in, the brunette quickly removed the device and cupped his hand over the captain's lips so that he'd be forced to breathe through his nose. The coughing continued for another couple of seconds before leveling out. Entire body trembling as he fought to keep control of himself, Marco pushed the damp hair away from Jean's face as he wheezed in and out. He was the only person there that had seen the blonde have an attack this bad before. Was the only one there that knew things could have turned out a lot worse because they had years ago during junior high.

Three years ago, Jean and Marco were getting ready to compete in the finals for the city championship when the blonde had commented that he didn't feel right. However, he shrugged it off as an upset stomach when the brunette asked if he needed to sit down or have one of the other guys dive before him to give him some time. Marco thought it was just his nerves. Thought he was getting performance anxiety which was something they had learned to work through together. But as Jean neared the top of the high dive, the first series of small coughs came. They were quiet and nondescript; small enough that Marco couldn't hear them from where he was at the bottom of the stairs waiting for his turn. The crowd roared to life as the blonde got in position for his double handspring but the cheers soon turned to shouts as he broke into a coughing fit. Those shouts then quickly evolved into screams as the young man lost his balance and slipped off the board, falling through the air sixty feet above the pool before slamming into the water with all the unforgiving ferocity of a freight train. 

Marco could still remember the rising noise and the various voices that carried over the others as everything blurred together. He could still remember looking into the water and watching Jean's limp body sink to the bottom as a stream of bubbles travelled up to the surface. Could still, to this day, recall the way the lifeguards pushed everyone back when they finally brought him back onto solid ground and began doing chest compressions; forcing the life back into his pale cold form. That day, Marco had almost lost Jean. Had nearly watched him die right before his eyes and in that moment swore it would never happen again. Promised he would always be there to protect him. Thankfully, this time wasn't as bad as it had been all those years ago.

Gently combing his fingers through Jean's damp hair, his heart broke when he heard a whimper escape past those perfect lips that shivered as the cold air hit his feverish skin. For as long as Marco knew him, the blonde never did know when to take it easy. He was always pushing himself to be better, to go faster, to be smarter. He didn't know how to relax; couldn't stand being still for longer than a couple minutes. He never had a problem with carrying the load or adding more to it even if it was stressful. That was just the kind of person he was. Jean was so selfless that it was frustrating at times for Marco because the guy never thought of himself; had to be taught how to be selfish and think about what was good for him.

"Oh goodness," groused Mrs. O'Conner, the school nurse, as she quickly crossed the gym to stand right next to Marco. "Not this again."

"Has he collapsed before?" the brunette asked, his voice strained and confused.

"Twice last year but it was from lack of sleep and not eating." Crouching down, the nurse pressed her fingers to Jean's neck and watched her wrist watch as she took his pulse. "He's at a hundred and twenty beats and he's covered in a cold sweat," she said to herself.

"What does that mean?"

"It means he has a nasty fever, likely the flu, and needs to go home if his father doesn't take him to the hospital first. Jean," she called to him gently as she tried rolling his head to the side so she could get a look at his pupils. "Hun, we have to move you. Can you stand?"

"M-Mrs. O'Conner?" the blonde groaned as a tear rolled down his cheek from the pain in his chest.

Watching as he attempted to sit up only to collapse backwards into Marco's chest, the nurse relented. "He can't walk, not in that condition. I have to go back to the office and grab the wheel chair."

"I can carry him," Marco said without hesitation.

"He's heavy hun, I don't want you hurting your back."

"No he's not. It's fine."

The look on his face was enough to convince the woman since she rose and took a step back allowing him space to maneuver around. Telling Jean to loop his arms around his neck, Marco grunted as he pushed up from the floor with the blonde safely tucked against his chest. It was surprising how built Jean was despite his slender form. He could feel the muscle on him but even so, he was still easy to lift. 'Maybe it's the adrenaline?' the brunette thought quietly. 

Once he had a good grip on the one-hundred and fifty-five pounds of dead weight in his arms, Marco followed the nurse back to her office. As they walked down the halls he would glance down at Jean who would start shivering at random. Brows knitted together while he drifted between awake and unconscious, the blonde had no clue what was happening to him, who was holding him, or where he was. His entire body ached and his head was throbbing. Lungs burning, he knew he couldn't speak so he didn't even try. Just nuzzled more closer to the source of welcomed heat that was cradling him. Pressing his face into the firm chest of another, he caught the familiar scent of sunblock, sea salt, and sandalwood. Eyes fluttering open, Jean looked up--following the tanned expanse of freckled skin until his gaze met Marco's.

Lips curving into a soft smile, the brunette couldn't help but notice how awestruck his friend looked. "Go back to sleep Jean," he murmured; his voice low and smooth like silk. "You need your rest."

Lifting a cool hand to brush over the warm skin of Marco's jaw and chin, Jean breathed, "Is this real?"

"Shh," Marco urged as he craned his head down so that he could press his cheek to the top of the dancer's head. "Close your eyes. I'll be there when you wake up. I promise."

With that Jean's eyes drooped shut and drifted to sleep happily bundled in the arms of a pleasant dream.

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Everything hurt and his lungs burned with the residual pain left over from the attack he had during rehearsals. Jean tried remembering what had happened as he laid there, just barely under the protective arms of much needed sleep. However, everything had blurred together the moment he hit the deck and was overcome by his asthma. He remembered how freaked out Kat looked and her telling someone to go get help. But what followed that was a mystery since the only memories he touched were outside of his sense of sight. Jean remembered feeling someone else holding him. Remembered how warm they were and how they smelled like the beach on a summer afternoon. He could still feel their arms wrapped around his shaking body and feel the heat radiating from them sink into his chilled skin. 

But what Jean wasn't sure of was the voice. There were so many people talking around him that it was hard to remember who was where. Yet, something within him knew that the person who had carried him was very dear to him. Like a heartbeat, it pulled him through the fog, across the universe he was sinking into, and out of the dreams until he rested just beneath the surface of consciousness. Aloft in this dizzying state where he was both there and not there--awake and asleep--he could hear their voice. Could feel the sense of security it filled him with and the reassurance that was whispered to him when the other voices faded until it was the only one left. It was the thread that he grabbed hold of and followed out of the darkness until his eyes fluttered open and the space bled with light and vibrant color.

Blinking, the world slowly came into focus. The blurred waft of white and smudged sable brown dissolved into the woven blades of the ornate art deco fan that hung on the ceiling above his room. The swatches of black, white, red, and yellow melted into the numerous framed movie posters on the walls surrounding the largest which was a pop color Pulp Fiction poster of Uma Thurman's character snorting a line of cocaine signed in the bottom lefthand by Quinton Tarantino. Various objects around the room came into focus like the two snowboards and retired surfboard that were mounted on the far left wall. His collection of antique books from the places he's traveled to sharpened as they came into view sitting in the bookcase right next to his desk with the mountain of textbooks recklessly piled atop it. Finally, after turning his head to the right, the image of Marco asleep at the edge of his bed with his arms folded over the mattress and head down was clear and so vivid that Jean almost thought he was dreaming.

"What?" he rasped; throat dry and voice strained from his sickness.

"He's been there all day since school let out," Ezra said quietly from the doorway. Entering with a cup in hand and a thermometer, the older blonde slipped the glass tube into his sons mouth while sitting down the small paper dixie cup with three pills in it. "Poor kid almost had a heart attack when they called an ambulance for you."

"What happened? I don't remember any of this," Jean mumbled past the thermometer.

"Well I don't suspect you would. You've been unconscious since twelve-thirty in the afternoon. It's already ten o'clock kiddo."

"What?"

"Yeah," his father said. Removing the tube, Ezra sighed as if he were expecting better results. "You're fever is still too high."

"How long has he been here?" Jean asked as he looked down at Marco's sleeping face.

"Since three. He skipped swim practice, saying this was more important. Levi, Eren, Armin, and Mikasa all stopped in too to see how you were holding out. Eren even started crying saying he was going to kick your ass for not taking better care of yourself. After all these years he still hasn't gotten a grip on his emotions. Zuzu called since she had to lead swim practice because Marco was here. She said she'd be here tomorrow with Donna's rosemary chicken noodle soup. Kat's stopping by tomorrow too to, as she put it, make sure you're still breathing." Watching as Jean absorbed all the information with his eyes glued to Marco, Ezra knew it was time to make himself scarce. "Anyway, take these," he said handing the cup to his son then offered him a bottle of water. Once Jean had washed the medication down, Ezra set the bottle down on the nightstand. "Try to get some more sleep. You have a fever and a minor case of the flu. Rest and I'll see you in the morning, 'kay kiddo."

"'Kay," Jean agreed with a small smile as Ezra bent down, smoothed the hair back from his forehead, and kiss him between the brows. "Sorry for worrying you."

Stopping at the door as he left, the man turned with a loving smile. "It's my job to worry about you. I love you Jean. Sleep tight."

"Love you dad"

As the door closed quietly behind Ezra, the slumbering youth holding onto Jean's hand stirred in his sleep. Rolling over onto his side despite the protest it stirred from his aching joints and bones, the blonde made himself comfortable as he let his eyes wander over Marco's peaceful childlike face. Nothing had changed in the years they had been separated. True they had grown and their hair had gotten longer and the brunette had gone from a stringy teenager to a tall handsome young man. But Marco was still that awkward kid with a smile that could light up a room and a heart as deep as the ocean. And Jean was still that hopeless fool that couldn't let go of his childhood crush no matter how much it hurt. 

Tracing the lines of his face with his honey gold eyes, Jean committed the sight of Marco's face to his memory. Stored it away in the deepest recesses of his heart for the days when he was feeling particularly lonely. In those dark moments when it seemed as if he couldn't do anything right and wasn't worth a lick of anyone's time, he would reflect on sweet little smile the brunette had while asleep. He'd recall the curve of his lips, the slope of his near-button nose, and the pattern of his freckles that faded into the deep caramel tan skin it adorned. This would be his little secret that no one else could know of. This love that hadn't changed and likely never would was the greatest truth in his life and one he could never speak because it could separate them--could drive them apart like it did before. So, to hold onto the man he loved, Jean kept his heart locked away and settled for friendship.

Leaning forward, Jean pressed his cool lips to the brunette's forehead with a sniffle and a solitary tear. "I will love you until the day I die Marco Bott." With their hands knitted together beneath Marco's cheek, Jean fell back asleep; letting his mind take him back into the aether.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, while the last chapter was more upbeat, I wanted this one to have a quiet more thoughtful feel to it. I didn't want to overplay the drama with Jean being sick and all. But my goal for this chapter was to start developing the relationship between Jean and Marco because the first ten to fifteen (maybe) chapters of this fic are going to follow the crew while they're in high school and the rest will focus on them during their colleges years. So to set the pace, I chose "Across The Ocean" by Azure Ray as this installments inspiration. It matches the lingering anxiety that both Jean and Marco still have and speaks to what they really want from each other. So here, from me to you, is our boys love letter.
> 
>  
> 
> *ACROSS THE OCEAN*  
> by Azure Ray
> 
> Now I've traveled across the ocean  
> With the same shoes just longer hair  
> Still carry that picture in my wallet  
> From the photo booth, yeah, it's still there
> 
> Just give me some kind of sign  
> Is this the right place or the right time?  
> Is this the right time?
> 
> Now I've landed in the Midwest  
> Where you lived so long ago  
> Remember I was always freezing  
> And now I'm covered up in snow
> 
> Just give me some kind of sign  
> Is this the right place or the right time?  
> Is this the right time?


	5. A World Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A change of seasons brings a change of perspective....
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> SOOOO YEAH...: Alright, so I wanted to give you guys the heads up that the plot of this story will be taking some serious turns and heading back to what it was originally going to be when I first laid out the framework for it. I fought against the natural flow of this story in the beginning because I was worried it'd be too cliche but I can't argue with it anymore. As such, there may be an abrupt change in pace and theme but I'll do my best to make it as seamless as possible. However, this change is happening, character's will be changing around when it comes to athletics, and I'm not sorry about it because it's what I wanted to do from the very start. I hope you like it as much as I do and enjoy the ride.
> 
> Ciao,
> 
> -Mars

At first it was just notes and mocking glances Eren got from the people around him. Hateful and meant to inflict harm, the words on the letters that were crammed into his locker for the past several days were likely from strangers that wanted in on the action or from peers who had once been "good friends" with him but turned traitor the moment he and Levi came out. Eyes burning holes into his back as he read the latest correspondence, a pack of senior girls laughed as they watched his shoulders drop and a tired sigh escape past his lips. This had become everyone's favorite sport; passing their free time by calling Eren a "loose slut" that slept with other people's boyfriends.

It was a lie obviously that Cassidy had distributed throughout the student body out of spite. In her mind, she and Levi hadn't broken up; they were just on break even though he had told her repeatedly that they were over. Eren was just a fleeting fancy. A dalliance that she was allowing. That's what she had told her friends as she insisted that Levi would come back to her. It had always been clear that Cassidy did not like the brunette; even when she and the captain were dating because he always put Eren before her. To her, she didn't see Levi's childhood friend. To her, Eren was a pest that needed to be eradicated.

Not giving in to her games, Eren took in a deep centering breath, crumpled the note up before tossing it into a nearby trashcan, and grabbed his calculus textbook. It didn't matter what rumors were going around about him or what the members of the girls soccer team thought. What mattered was that he was with Levi. After nearly a lifetime of lying and hiding how he felt, he could finally have the one thing he had always wanted. He could hold Levi's hand in public, give him kisses on the cheek, and cling to him without having to find some bullshit excuse for his actions. It was a relief no matter what the consequences were. So, as he passed by Cassidy and her flock of minions, proudly flaunted the hickies on his neck he had "forgotten" to cover up.

Smiling when he spotted Levi and Mikasa walking into the hall from the outside, Eren jumped them both; hanging off their shoulders with an arm draped over either of the twins. Anyone else would have been pushed away or firmly encouraged to let go. But this type of skinship was normal for the three of them. Friends since birth, the three were inseparable and treated one another with a level of affection that rivaled the closest of siblings. Behind them, Eren could hear Cassidy click her tongue and loudly whisper something under her breath. But what did he care? He had two of his favorite people at his side and, after calculus, he'd have soccer practice with his boyfriend. Smiling at the thought, he released Mika while simultaneously sliding his arm down to wrap around Levi's waist. Kissing his cheek right above the jaw, the brunette's grin grew when the captain returned the gesture.

"How was Econ?" Eren asked with a squeeze to his partners hip.

"Awful," Levi immediately responded.

"Mmm," Mikasa agreed with something of an annoyed expression painting her finely featured face.

"I know that look. What happened?"

Rolling his eyes, Levi tried to shrug it off. "Nothing."

"He got into an argument with Gregorian," his twin stated without hesitating.

"We BOTH got into an argument with him."

"I wasn't arguing with him so much as I was telling him teachers aren't technically allowed to call their students 'shits' even if they're acting like it."

"Wait, he what?!" Eren gawked indignantly as his eyes widened.

"This is why I didn't want to say anything Mimi," Levi groaned while shooting her a pointed look. A moment later, he froze in place. "Shit! I forgot my physics textbook in my locker."

"Well go run and grab it," Mikasa said, wondering what all the fuss was about.

"They moved my locker to E Building this year which is all the way on the other side of campus. Fuck, I won't make it in time."

Rolling his eyes with a little smirk, Eren gave Levi a little peck on the lips. "It's fine. Go grab mine from my locker. You remember the combo right?"

"Yeah. Thanks babe," he sighed with a quick kiss to Eren's cheek. "You guys go on ahead of me."

"'Kay."

Turning tail and booking it down the hall, Levi disappeared into the sea of students all scrambling to get to class before passing period was over and the dean's came around to nail them with tardy slips. It didn't take too long to reach Eren's locker. Luckily, they all had class in B Building so it was just a stones throw from his physics class on the second level. Yet as he approached the end of the hall, he spotted a pair of girls shoving something into the slot of the small metal door. At first he thought they were admirers that hadn't heard that Eren was off the market. However, when they turned around and saw Levi jogging over, they laughed with a strange look in their eyes while quickly scampering off up the stairs that laid hidden just around the corner.

Slowing before stopping in front of the locker, he could still hear their giggling as they went up the stairs. Something wasn't right. Levi's intuition had never been wrong before and right now it was screaming at him to read whatever had been pushed through that slot. Without another moment passing, he entered the combo then yanked the round lock down before swinging the door open. When he did, two notes folded into triangles tumbled out and fell to the floor. Grabbing them, the captain studied the little flowers drawn on the outside and the small hearts scribbled in hot pink. 'Maybe it is an admirer,' he thought to himself with brows furrowing. Yet, as he opened and read the first letter, his mouth dropped open and the blood in his veins turned cold.

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It had almost been a week since Jean had gotten sick--confined to his bed for the majority of it--and the usually active teenager was starting to go stir crazy. Sleeping all day and having food brought to him would have been a dream for anyone else. But for the dance captain, it was a nightmare. He hated being cooped up in a stuffy room all day and was fed up with being told to rest. Between Ezra and Jackson hounding him with medicine, soup, and routine check-in's to take his temperature, Jean could not have been more annoyed than he was in that moment. So, in between their rounds, Jean would lock the bedroom door and slip in his wireless earbuds and practice the "Telephone" routine.

With only a month left before the city prelims, he had to make sure he had the dance memorized since they wouldn't have time to rehearse it before performing. Besides, he hadn't had an asthma attack all day and the night before so he would be fine to practice so long as he didn't push himself too hard. Remembering his footing, Jean stepped and grooved to the music; feeling more like himself with every move. Watching his form in the full length mirror mounted to the back of his bedroom door, he corrected little hiccups and missteps here and there while altering moves that didn't seem to fit with the routine's general choreography. He'd have to tell Kat, Whitney, and Thomas that he had changed the jump-sweep in the second section of the dance but they wouldn't mind too much. The blonde changed, altered, and reworked the choreography to almost everything they thought would be their official routine. It wasn't much of a surprise for the three group leaders anymore since everyone knew how much of a perfectionist their captain was.

As Jean spun around to spot himself in the mirror to make sure his stop was on the mark, he was instead greeted by a rather peeved looking Marco. Heart nearly leaping out of his chest, the blonde lost his footing as he came to an abrupt stop and fell backwards onto his ass. Despite how hilarious the scene likely was, the brunette just sighed with his arms folded across his chest before moving to help his friend up. Marco knew better than most how antsy Jean got; that his ADHD was on a whole other level that made it impossible for him to stay still for long. He also knew how much he hated being bossed around. But the blonde was sick and those small coughs he was trying to hide wasn't doing anything to help plead Jean's case.

"What are you doing Jean?" Marco grunted as he helped him to his feet; noting that his skin was still hotter than usual. "You're sick and shouldn't be straining your body."

"Please don't start with that Marco," the dancer rasped before clearing his throat. "Look, I'm already past the worst of it and the city prelims are coming up. If I don't practice we could lose our shot at winning."

"I know that but you've still got a cough and a fever. You need to be in bed."

Flopping backwards onto the bed piled high with tousled blankets, sheets, and fluffy pillows, Jean groaned with a prominent frown on his face. "But I'm bored," he whined. "There's nothing to do but sleep and watch Netflix and I'm sick of both. Seriously, I'm about ready to jump off a cliff."

"Don't be so dramatic about it," the brunette said with a roll of his eyes. 

Setting down his swim duffel and backpack, Marco closed the door and laid on the bed next to Jean. Since it was past the contagion period it was safe to be this close to him; not that it bothered him before though. The brunette had always had a strong immune system. He had once been sick with the swine flu and didn't even know about it until he went in for a routine physical so a minor flu didn't pose much of a threat to him. It was why he had come over every day to make sure Jean was behaving himself while Ezra and Jackson went to work. Eren and Levi had stopped in a couple times as had Armin, Mikasa, and Kat. The best was when Zuzu had come in holding a round sealed container of soup and handed it to Marco before jumping Jean during which she scolded him for not taking better care of himself.

Yet it was the brunette who had been there every day when Jean was at his lowest. He'd do his homework there and would leave late, usually waiting until 11:30 p.m. when Jackson and Ezra got home from the office. He would make the blonde lunch and dinner, helped him get the shower started when Jean was too weak to do it himself, and kept track of his medicine and how much water he was drinking. When Jean would wake up in a cold sweat coughing from an asthma attack, it was Marco who was ready with the inhaler. In the past four days they had almost spent more time together than they had all semester. And despite how much he hated being sick, Jean didn't want to go back to how things were before.

It was like he had stumbled into some alternate reality where they were a couple and Marco was dutifully taking care of him. He was so devoted to helping Jean get better, it was too sweet at times. The way he would rub his back as the blonde was busy throwing up and how he'd keep an eye on him even while doing his homework--it was all so kind; so endearing. 'You're going to make some girl really happy one day,' Jean thought to himself as a sad smile crept over his lips when he turned to look at the handsome profile of Marco's face. He loved everything about him--from the freckles on his cheeks to the little quirk in his laugh. Everything about the brunette enchanted him and the feeling only grew the closer they became. 

Turning away as a sniffle broke past his defenses, Jean killed the aching in his chest before it could ruin everything. He had just gotten Marco back. They had just gotten back to normal--to how they were before--and he wasn't going to let his hazy overly-excited imagination screw it all up. He'd rather suffer as a friend and stay at his side than be discarded because he had gone and spilled the contents of his soul to the guy he had been in love with for years. Looking the other way when he felt those deep brown eyes fix themselves on him, Jean quietly settled his breathing and steady the trembling of his lips. He couldn't fall apart now.

"Did you want to play a video game or something?" Marco asked knowing full well that there was a reason why Jean wasn't looking at him. "You aren't up for watching anything but maybe playing a two-player game would be fun."

Bobbing his head in confirmation, Jean swallowed back the nerves in his throat. "That could work."

Fighting the urge to reach out and trace the line of his pale elegant jaw, Marco looked up at the ceiling. "Have any game ideas or is anything fine?"

"Left for Dead would be fun."

Marco chuckled. He should have guessed that that would have been Jean's answer. That had been their go-to before he left for Germany and, once or twice, they had gotten into trouble with Ezra for waking him up with all their screaming and shouting. Dragging himself up and off of the bed, Marco got to work setting up the Xbox 360 and searched for the controls as the home screen loaded. Muttering a string of curses when the automatic update popped up, the brunette tossed Jean his controller before heading to the kitchen to grab them some snacks. Pulling the chilled bottle of Canada Dry ginger ale from the fridge, a bag of hybrid grapes that tasted like cotton candy, and a pomegranate flavored Bai drink, Marco went back upstairs to find Jean tabbing through the list of achievements they had won together years ago while playing the game. 

The summer leading up to their freshman year of high school had been spent holed up in the blondes room playing all the new games Marco had been gifted for his birthday. From Left 4 Dead and Dead Space to Alien Isolation and Fallout, they marathoned them all since they knew they'd be too busy when school started to kick back and relax. It had been one of the best summer's of Marco's life because his father had been out of town the whole time leaving him free to hangout with Jean. They'd take breaks to go over to Levi and Mika's or go terrorize the promenade mall in Santa Monica with the gang. A couple times they had taken the bus down to the pier to ride the roller coasters and eat funnel cake while watching the sun go down over the ocean painted gold by the sunset. They'd then return home and play games until passing out around five o'clock in the morning. He prayed for the day they could do it all over again. Wished for that same freedom to come as he waited on tenterhooks for his father to return from his business trip and shatter this happy world they had started to rebuild.

"You know we're still missing a few," Jean said without even looking away from the screen. "We haven't gotten Do Not Disturb and Safety First."

"Well those in general are hard to get," Marco said as he sat the drinks down on the nightstand closest to Jean and deposited the grapes on the bed before shuffling over the blankets to the side the blonde wasn't occupying.

Smirking as he plucked a grape from the vine and ate it, Jean shot him a teasing glance. "Maybe for you they are, Chick Magnet."

"Oh my God, let it go."

"Dude, you pissed off almost every witch in the Blood Harvest campaign. There is no way we're ever going to get Do Not Disturb with you playing."

"Is that a fact?" Marco scoffed indignantly.

"Yeah, that's a fact."

"Well that settles it. We're playing Blood Harvest first."

"Fine but I'm leaving you if a witch comes running for us."

"Traitor."

"Klutz."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come on Marco, hurry up or we'll miss it!" Jean shouted as he sprinted ahead with flushed cheeks and an excited grin.

Struggling to keep up with the hyper blonde, Marco held onto the straps of his backpack as he tried to close the gap between them. "J-Jean! You're running too fast!"

Groaning, Jean turned around, grabbed his freckled friend by the hand and dragged him along until they were going at the same pace. Class had just let out but the diving competition was slated to start in the next eight minutes so the boys decided to run the seven blocks home from their junior high in the sweltering heat to make it back in time. Racing up the garden path leading to the front door of the blonde's house, the two burst through the entrance nearly giving Jean's mother a heart attack. Shouting at them to take their dirty shoes off and slow down, her commands fell on deaf ears as they turned the corner and tossed their backpacks onto the couch.

Grabbing the remote, Jean was practically bouncing as he flipped to channel 4 right as the first pair of divers took to the high dive for the men's qualifying competition. Eyes aflame with excitement, he couldn't look away; not for a single second as he dropped to his knees barely a foot away from the television and watched as the men representing the US shot down the plank and, in perfect unison, tossed themselves into the air, spun and twisted and bent themselves in half like paper being folded before straightening out and entering the water without so much as a splash. Jean had been waiting all day for this. Had been doodling images of swimmers and divers in the margins of his notebook throughout class. Out of breath and pink in the face from running, he sat there mesmerized by the athletes competing for a shot at a gold medal. 

Yet, in his eyes, they were all amazing. Wonderful enchanting artists that used the air and water to create their masterpieces. He had grown up watching the Olympic games. Had always admired the men and women that went to such lengths to compete at such a level. More so than rock stars, doctors, firefighters, or actors, they were his heroes. Tall, awkward, and scrawny with ears too big for his head, he had never been confident in his own skin. Had always wanted to fly away from his body and escape. Then one year, when he was feeling particularly low, Ezra sat down with him and turned on the 2008 games in Beijing. It was as he watched the divers leap from the board--they being as thin and lanky as him--and come out of the water to a stadium filled with cheers that it hit him. Jean could escape too. With enough practice, he could become something wonderful just like the men and women at the games had.

"One day I'm going to dive at the Olympics," Jean said almost to himself as his hands clenched the fabric of his uniform slacks covering his thighs. "I'll be right there with David Boudia and Nick McCrory and compete on the same platform as them," he smiled as he looked to the right and smiled at Marco. "You'll come, right?"

Smiling with his lips closed, Marco nodded. "Yeah. I'll be there. I want to swim against Michael Phelps one day."

"So it's a promise. We're going to make it to the Olympics?"

"Mhm," the brunette smirked. "I promise."

x-----x-----x-----x-----x-----x

Eyes flickering open and breath coming in a single sharp intake, Jean shot up in bed feeling as if he'd been forcefully ejected from his sleep. It had been two days since he had recovered from the nasty flu that had left him positively wrecked. Yet, starting half way through his illness, he had been waking up in the middle of the night after tearing away from the dreams of memories he had once forgotten. Mostly glimpses back at his childhood, a few were from the family trip to Greece. A couple times he dreamt of Christmas with his grandparents in Bordeaux and there was the throwback to the day he met Marco in the sixth grade. But more than anything else, memories of his diving years resurfaced.

With perfect clarity, it were as if he was gazing through a window at his pre-teen self as he scaled to the top of the high dive at the local pool where he took lessons and did backflips off the board. Sailing through the air like a feather caught in the breeze, he folded, spun, and rotated gracefully doing one trick after another before piercing through the waters surface with minimal disturbance. Jean could still hear the cheering from the kids in his class. Could still remember the praise he got from his coach and the enthusiastic smiles he'd catch on Marco's face across the pool as he waited to warm up for his swim lesson.

Laying in bed with the smell of chlorine and cool water still fresh in his mind, Jean felt the undeniable urge to go outside and dip his feet in the pool. Remaining still for only a fraction of a second, the young man removed himself from the comfortable confines of the plush blankets and slipped his feet into the sandals that sat just to the right of his bed. Quietly he opened the bedroom door, locked around the moonlight hall for a brief moment, and exited the room. Sneaking down the stairs so that he wouldn't wake up Ezra and Jackson, Jean slinked through the living room, through the dining room, and turned down the hall with the laundry closet and back porch where they kept the cleaning supplies. Carefully, he unlocked the backdoor and eased the door open before closing it behind him.

Outside it was silent with only a disjointed symphony of crickets filling the air with their pleasant melodies. Reflected in the still waters of the large in-ground pool lined with smooth tiles on the sides was the near full moon sitting high in the sky overhead; its brilliant light painting the surrounding deck and lounge chairs an ethereal white while the plants shimmered and glowed a ghostly shade of silver. Sometimes, when he was much younger, he would come outside and lay across the springboard and stare at the water. It was his own little world where he was king and his thoughts could float away with the breeze. He didn't feel as frightened or uncertain about things when he was there. The water was like a magic charm; cleansing and purging him of any and all worries. Even after the accident and losing his mother a year later, he still--out of habit--would come out and lay across the springboard hovering over the pool.

However, that night, gazing into the still waters wasn't enough. The dreams had become too strong. The memories were too fresh--leaving the scent of chlorine and cool water clinging to his skin and clothes. Glancing up at his father's bedroom window to make sure the lights were out, Jean pulled off his henley and sleeping pants with the small hole in the bottom of the left pocket. Stripped down to his tight black boxer briefs, a shiver crept along his spine as the early October air hit his bare skin with a gentle wind. He hesitated when the pad of his right foot touched the rough surface of the springboard. He hadn't dived in years--not since the accident that had nearly ended him. But just a touch from the coarse fiberglass to the sole of his foot had his heart fluttering. 

Stepping completely onto the mounted end of the blanched white plank, Jean gave it a gentle push to test its rigidity. Smiling when it pushed back, his eyes followed the short eight foot path it created until it ended abruptly over the dark peaceful waters below. Swallowing back any lingering fear, the blonde approached the edge of the plank and took a deep breath before taking a familiar stance his body knew all too well. Arms raised above his head in perfect linear lines, he pushed up onto the balls of his feet; balancing there for a brief moment in perfect silence. Then, as he exhaled, Jean pushed down against the board which then flung him upwards. Springing high above, he brought his knees in for a single pike then unfolded while rotating backwards and sliced through the lukewarm water beneath him.

As his body sank motionless in the shifting waters, the teen turned around and opened his eyes. Smiling with little bubbles escaping past his lips, he stared up at the distorted moon with a warmth stirring in his chest. It had been years since he had last felt that carefree; had taken the time to simply appreciate the world around him. Between the stress of school, the pressure from the dance team, and having to choreograph new pieces every month Jean had forgotten what it was like to take a time-out and breathe. It had never been this way in junior high. He had never had trouble relaxing while he was on dive team nor had he ever had any trouble sleeping or eating. But after the accident, he had left the pool and joined with his second love, dancing. Yet, no matter how much he fought it--no matter how much he said he was done with the water--he found himself drawn to it like a sailor being led out to sea.

Swimming up toward the glittering silver orb of light shining above him, Jean broke through the surface then shifted so that he was floating on his back. With both eyes closed, he could have fallen back asleep in that moment if it wouldn't end with him drowning. Like Marco, he was more at peace off land than he was on. Something about the fluidity and ever-changeableness of water calmed him. It was like a reminder that no matter how tough things got, they wouldn't stay that way. Like water, nothing was permanent. The only thing that was eternal was the human heart. But the hardships, the victories, the lows, and the highs... All of it was fleeting and passed within the blink of an eye when compared to the endlessness of eternity.

Eyes cracking open only a bit, a thought occurred to Jean. Perhaps, his dreams weren't memories of his past coming to haunt him during this strenuous time. What if they were messengers? It was proven that the mind often wanders to a place of comfort when confronted with extreme pressure or stress. But what if his was retreating to this place because it was trying to tell him something? Off and on, he had been having these dreams since Marco's return. He knew that there was something his mind was trying to tell him; something lost in his subconscious that was trying to claw its way out of the well hidden in the back of his head. But what? What was all of this telling him? Jean had a few good guesses but nothing to really drive him to any conclusion so there he laid, floating on the surface of the pool gazing up at the moon waiting for an answer.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was ten past three o'clock in the morning when Ezra heard a noise come from outside. At first he thought it might have been another raccoon accidentally falling into the pool or maybe something mucking around the deck but when he heard the springboard rattling his eyes opened and he rolled onto his stomach with a groan. Rubbing the sleep away, he tried not to disturb Jackson as he scooted up to the head of the bed so that he could peek out the window to see what was messing around outside. His poor partner had worked a long grueling day filled with disagreeable clients and heartless defense attorneys representing a man accused of attempted child molestation. In short he had earned a decent nights rest so if there was anyone trying to break in Ezra would grab his nearest stiletto and knock the sucker out cold. Yet when he looked out the bedroom window, the man saw something he'd never expect to see.

Floating on the surface of the pool with a happy smile on his face was his son, Jean. The same kid who had avoided the pool for two years and hadn't gone in the ocean whenever they had a family trip to the beach was now in the water looking as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Taking in a sharp quiet breath, Ezra tried to keep calm as the tears came to his eyes. Never, not in a hundred years, would he have thought he'd see his boy in a pool again and, from the way the springboard had rattled, had used the diving platform to enter it no less. After Jean's accident the summer before his freshman year the boy had changed drastically. All his passion and confidence had been replaced with doubt and fear. So much so that he quit the dive team and joined dance instead.

Memories flooding back of taking Jean to his first dive lesson when he was eight and clapping as he did his first successful launch, it was almost too much for Ezra to handle. Shoulders shaking gently as the tears streamed down his cheeks, he watched silently from above as the boy happily floated on the surface. He couldn't count how many times he had wished for this; prayed for this day to come when the teen would overcome his fears and return to the water. True, Jean loved dance almost as much as he loved the water but it wasn't him despite what everyone thought. He was anxious and vulnerable on land. Always stressed out over his performance and working himself down to bare bones, dancing took so much more out of Jean than diving ever had. For the teen, swim and dive was as natural as breathing.

"Babe?" Jackson groaned as he rolled onto his side while rubbing his hazy dark brown eyes. "Honey, what are you doing? It's three in the morning."

"Shh," Ezra shushed sweetly with a smile as he looked over his shoulder at his partner. "Look out the window. Don't let him see you though."

Brows pinching with one slightly arched, the man did as he was told and pushed up onto his elbows to peer out the open window. "Holy shit," he breathed in a state of shock. "Jean's in the pool." Looking at the older blonde next to him, Jackson couldn't wipe to look of disbelief from his face, "Baby, he's in the water."

"I know," Ezra excitedly whispered back. "When I woke up, I thought I heard the springboard rattling so I looked outside to see what could be making the noise."

"He dove in?!" Jackson gawked with added emphasis on the word "dove."

Ezra nodded with tears still rolling down from his glassy eyes. "He hasn't used that pool for almost four years. I don't know what has him out there but it's a miracle."

Smiling softly as his lover leaned against his shoulder and buried his face in the crook of his neck, Jackson rested his head atop the older blonde's with his eyes closed. It truly was a miracle because no amount of talking from anyone could have gotten the kid back in the water. Stubborn like his father and proud like his mother, Jean usually stuck to his guns once his mind was made up about something. It was anyone's guess what happened to get him to change his mind and forgive Marco. Especially since the blonde claimed for years on end that he hated the "freckled douchebag" for abandoning his friends and ditching them for some fancy scholarship. That alone was an impressive reversal yet now, fresh out of being sick for a week, and the kid was in the pool after avoiding it for years and had used the diving board to get in. The chances of that happening were equivalent to lightning striking in the same area twice.

"What do you think it means?" Ezra asked dreamily as he watched his son from two stories up. 

Breathing out a sigh, Jackson shook his head. "I don't know. Something wonderful I hope."

"Me too. He was happiest when he was diving," Ezra smiled with glassy eyes; his gaze not once leaving the pool. "My boy," he murmured sweetly. "My son."


	6. Technicolour Beat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions are made that cannot be undone...

................Tuesday afternoon................

"You're sure about this?" Pixis asked from where he stood opposite of Jean and to the left of the teen's counselor. "You're almost a quarter through your senior year and have a shot at winning your third consecutive title at the national championships. Are you sure that this is what you want because once you make the switch, kid, you can't go back. You'll be locked into this no matter what."

Mrs. O'Carrol nodded; the pink hibiscus flower in her wavy golden hair bouncing a little with the motion. "Coach Pixis is right. Because you're on the AP course your classes aren't as easy to swap around if something doesn't work out. Moreover, you've worked so hard to get the dance team to where it is. If this is really what you want to do honey, then I'll switch your extracurricular tracks. But once I do it," she paused to take in a breath--worry and confusion dancing behind her kind tawny brown eyes, "Once it's done, it's done. So I want you to think about this for another minute to make sure this is what you want."

Glancing between them, Jean felt a small sliver of doubt wiggle its way into his heart. He had been contemplating changing back to dive for the better half of a year but stuck with dance because it was, like they had said, something he was good at; a team he had handpicked and trained with. Together, he, Kat, Whitney, Ary, and Thomas had led the ragtag crew of knuckleheads and misfits to countless victories. They were his second family, his friends and supported him without question. When he fell, they picked him up. When he rose, they rised up with him. When he was weak, they were his strength and carried him through the highs and lows. It was a difficult decision; this he knew. A painful one since leaving them would be the same as leaving a band of brothers and sisters. Could he really do that? Would he regret it if he did?

Looking up, the blonde could see the skepticism and concern on both Mrs. O'Carrol and Coach Pixis' face. Years ago, when he had first enrolled at the elite high school hidden in the beachside hills of Malibu, he was an ace diver with more talent in his little finger than a whole team had combine. But he had changed after the accident. Less confident and heartbroken from the loss of his friend who he believed to had left them for his own selfish reasons, the young man purposefully distanced himself from anything related to who he had once been. All the trophies and photo's at his training pool and the old warm-up parka's with his number on them from his junior high days had been locked away in boxes in the farthest corner of the garage. 

For years he didn't want to remember; didn't want to look back. Yet even so, he could still feel the water pulling him back; calling to him every time he passed the aquatics center at school. On the nights when sleep eluded him, Jean would sneak out and sit on the deck of the pool--first on a lounge chair near the grassy portion of the backyard then closer and closer until he was sitting on the springboard with his chin resting on his knee while the other leg dangled over the dark still waters. It was only recently that he understood what it all meant. As much as Jean had ran away from the sport, he couldn't fight with nature. Not anymore.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

.................Wednesday...................

Kat could tell that there was something brewing in the air the moment she stepped onto campus early that Wednesday morning. Jean hadn't been the same since he came back from his sick leave; could see it in his eyes. Something had shifted inside him; something grand...a massive upset waiting in the rafters to reveal itself. He'd kept his act up throughout dance practice and during the basketball game Monday night. To everyone else he was the same sassy power-stepping captain with moves that could make any girl in the audience scream. Nothing on the surface had changed; a flawless facade that had been perfected over the years. But Kat wasn't anyone's fool. She could see the cracks--the water seeping through the hairline fractures others had missed.

Following her intuition, she breezed past the dance studios that morning, bypassed the south gym, and headed straight to the pool. Something told her this was the best place to start searching for the dance captain. Years ago, when Jean had first joined with the team and had taken over as head of the JV team, the aquatics center was where he would hideaway and grab some fresh air. She couldn't blame him since it had once been his favorite place to hangout; a safe haven where he and Marco would swim and dive until the janitor kicked them out when it was closing time. It had been that way since they were children; the two boys floating across the crystalline surface with smiles on their faces while she kicked her feet aimlessly with a load of questions at the ready varying from "why do you think fireflies light up?" to "what do you think it'd be like to live in space?" And as always, her gut instinct was right.

Jeans rolled up to his mid-calf with both hands shoved into the pockets of his favorite flecked grey hoodie, Jean toed the water by the springboard near the deep end of the pool. He looked pensive--as if he knew he was being watched and was ready for what would come next. It was as Kat approached that she saw it. Flickering in the irises of his honeyed amber eyes was a blissful state of peace she hadn't seen in years. The way his lips curled gently at the corners as the cool water moved with his foot. The childlike laugh that escaped from within him as he kicked the surface to watch the droplets fly off into the distance. Kat could see the conversation they were about to have all too clearly. She knew this day would come eventually. Had prepared herself for it by taking on the added task of learning his signature moves in addition to her own. But she thought they had at least one more year left; or at least until the end of December.

"I knew I'd find you here," Kat called to him from across the aquatic center. Smirking when he looked up at her like a child caught with their hand in a cookie jar, she briskly closed the space between them before plopping down at the pools' edge where she stared at the waters surface. "I got your text saying you wanted to talk. So what's up?"

Knowing it was best to come clean and be honest rather than beat around the brush with her, Jean sighed. "I'm switching out of dance."

"Knew it," she snorted with a sad laugh.

"You did?"

"Jean, as good as you are at dancing--and I mean really good--it was never what you were crazy about. Since we were kids, you'd always been obsessed with diving. To be honest, I was more shocked when you joined the dance team than I am now."

"Really?"

Nodding, she pulled off her shoes and socks and dipped her feet in the water. "Yeah. You're a fish Jean. You belong in the water."

"So," he hesitated sparing a small peek in her direction, "you aren't angry or anything?"

"Oh I'm pissed that you couldn't at least make it until the end of the season; trust me on that. But I'll get over it because I love you more than my damn pride so whatever. Just know that I'm going to be annoying you every single day after practice and bitch about every last thing and you can't tell me to stop. Got it?"

Chuckling with a slight grunt as he sat down next to her, Jean leaned down to rest his head on her shoulder. "I promise, you can talk to me about anything anytime you want. And if you need help with choreographing, don't hesitate to give me a call."

"Mmm..."

Watching as the wind blew through to send a wave of ripples fluttering over the waters surface, the two sat there in virtual silence listening to the birds chirping in the distance as the sun pierced through the morning fog. Painting their faces a smattering of rose pink, sherbet orange, and glittering gold, the sunrise brought with it a new chapter; a change that they both needed. In the past two years, their lives had progressed yet stayed the same. Stagnant and mundane, it was like they were repeating the same day over and over waiting for something better to happen--waiting for their lives to start. As anti-climatic as their conversation was, it felt right. Kat knew this was coming so why should she be upset? It wasn't her choice to make and it wasn't as if she was losing a friend; just one of the best dancers the team had ever seen and right before the nationals. Even so, this needed to happen. Not because Kat wanted it but because Jean needed it; required it to get closure for a part of his life that had been unceremoniously interrupted.

"How much longer do we have you?" she asked as they watched the sun lazily climb through the sky.

"Until city's. After that, I have to start with the dive team so that I can qualify for regionals."

"Will you be okay? The last time you dove was three years ago."

"Yeah," Jean said dreamily as he watched the glowing disc in the sky through the haze. "I'll be fine. For the past couple of months I've been dreaming about this nonstop. It's like every part of me remembers what it was like being up there and has been waiting for me to make the change back to dive."

"I think a lot of us were." Smiling softly when he tilted his head up to look at her with furrowed brows, Kat playfully pinched his nose. "At least you won't be going it alone now that you've got Marco back."

"Yeah, that is a plus."

"Speaking of, does he know?"

Jean shook his head. "Not yet. I'm telling him today during lunch."

"I see." She wanted to say more but left it at that. Well, for the most part. "I have to ask but, is he the reason why you're making the switch?"

"Not really. I made a promise to myself when I was younger and I want to make it happen. Getting to compete with my friend is an added bonus."

"Oh for fucks sake," Kat groaned as she fell backwards against the ground with a look of disappointment gracing her delicate elfin features. "Are you seriously still 'just friends'? After spending all that time together when you were sick and before that when he'd come over almost every day after class? I mean come on, do I need to force your faces together myself?"

Buckling over--almost falling into the pool as he did--Jean was overcome with a fit of laughter. He knew that Kat shipped him and Marco like FedEx but had quieted down over the years since his accident. But now that he was back the blonde heard about it nearly every single day. She was worse than a pushy grandmother looking to set her favorite grandson up with the pretty girl from temple.

"Jesus Kat, I think you want to get me laid than I do myself."

"It's not that I want to get you laid although that wouldn't hurt. It's just you guys have been going back and forth like this for so long, the suspense is killing me."

"Yeah, well if we're meant to be it'll happen in it's own time."

"Bull-fucking-shit. You two know you're meant to be but you keep worrying about the little things. I just," she said with a strained sigh, "I just want to see you guys happy and you're happiest with each other."

Laying down next to her so that he could leach off her body heat, Jean smiled with eyes closed. "Thanks Kat."

Pouting, the dancer rolled her eyes before closing them with her slender feet kicking at the pool water. "How much longer until the team comes in for pre-practice?"

"Probably a half hour."

"Then the aquatic center is our domain until then."

Snorting a laugh, he yawned. "Yeah, yeah, now stop moving around. I'm cold and you're warm."

"Airhead, your feet are still in the water."

"Yeah, and?"

"Psh. Whatever," she smirked but curled into him nonetheless. "I'll miss you Jean."

"I'm going to miss you too Kat."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

It was one thing to leave notes in his locker but to vandalize it with "Homewrecker" and "Class Bike" tagged on the door in black and red sharpie with condoms stuffed into the slots was too much. Biting down on his lip so that he wouldn't lose it, Eren felt like screaming. Why was the world so against him being with Levi? They had known each other longer than the captain had even been aware of Cassidy's existence. He had been their for every moment. Every joy, sorrow, victory, failure, birthday, graduation, and trip to the detention hall--Levi and Eren had shared them all. They were best friends. Two sides of the same coin separated at birth with the brunette born first and missing his other half until he came into the world with his twin.

Eren had loved Levi longer than anyone else. Had been there supporting him through every hardship, through every relationship while silently wishing for the day the guy would stop looking at him as a friend and see him for who he was; a man hopelessly in love with his best friend. Eren was there when Cassidy first came into the picture, bit his tongue when Levi admitted that they had had sex and told him how underwhelming it was. He was there when she slapped him for calling her a brat and held back his rage when he overheard the witch bragging about her other boyfriend from Birmingham High. It was Eren that held Levi as he cried when she broke up with him on his birthday--just a month after he told her he loved her.

Those intolerable cruelties and more, Eren had restrained himself through it all because he knew getting angry about it would only make things harder for Levi. So he conceded and instead dedicated himself to helping his friend rebuild his battered and bruised self-worth. Selflessly and without any expectations, Eren stayed by Levi's side. Supported him when he fell wrong on his shoulder and had to undergo two surgeries back to back just to reconstruct the shattered bone. Cheered him on during his trips to the rehabilitation center when all the captain could say was "I can't do this. I can't do this." It was Eren that made sure he was eating right, sleeping enough every night, and not pushing himself too hard when he was given the green light to rejoin the team for practice. 

He had been at Levi's side from start to finish--from birth to present day--so why? Why was everyone so against their relationship? Why did it matter that they were both guys? In a state that bragged about how inclusive it was, Eren had never felt more small in his life. It was like bleeding in shark infested waters while praying for a rescue that would never come. Ripping the condoms out of the slots and throwing them onto the ground, he ignored the laughter and sneers from the students behind him and too his right. He had never cried in public but the constant hate and ridicule was stifling and he found himself buckling under the pressure of their spiteful smiles. All Eren wanted was to love and be loved in return; to hold hands with his boyfriend and not be judged. But it was too much to ask for. Too much of a request for these backwards peers of his to accommodate.

"Eren?" Levi said from the stairwell to his left; the snickering and laughing quieting when he appeared. 

Glancing between the vandalized locker door, the brunette's glassy eyes, and Cassidy's guilty expression that she tried to hide, Levi didn't have to say a single word to know what was happening. He had found out about the vulgar notes people were leaving in Eren's locker calling him out as a "cock slut" that stole other people's boyfriends. He was going to say something; ask the brunette about it later that afternoon during lunch. But his patience was gone with this latest hit. Had snapped the moment he saw those tears waiting to fall from those pleading pools of deep emerald green. He knew that it'd be hard for them as a couple considering their previous relationships. But even so, he wasn't expecting this level of resistance.

Teeth grinding behind tight lips with fists clenched, the captain looked as if he were about to strike his ex despite being the gentleman he was known to be. Instead, he marched straight up to Eren, pushed him against the lockers with all his body weight, and kissed him hard and deep; his tongue invading the brunette's mouth immediately while his hands cupped his face as the tears finally fell. A roar of catcalls, wooting, gasps, and cheers filled the hall. Grinding harder into Eren, he fought to keep his hands steady as his anxious partner responded by clinging onto him tighter as if he were about to fly away. Sound fading with the world spinning away, it was just them--as it had always been. No one was going to stop them from being together. Not when they had waited so long for this. This was their time; their relationship and Levi wasn't going to let anyone or anything tear them apart.

Sucking Eren's bottom lip before pulling away, Levi smiled breathlessly when he saw the hazy dopey grin on the brunette's perfectly tanned freckled face. He was everything, absolutely everything and meant the world to the captain. Levi could feel his heart leap out of his chest when his brat leaned forward just enough to rub their noses together. This was what he wanted now, tomorrow, the day after that, and for all of eternity. He wanted Eren and it was about damn time everyone else knew that they weren't a couple to be messed with.

Turning sharply while keeping one slightly trembling arm wrapped around Eren's waist, Levi glared ruthlessly at Cassidy as if that look alone would cut her to pieces. "You get it now? I Like Dick!" Levi declared without any shame or hesitation. "I want Eren now and always. Not you Cassidy so grow the fuck up and stay away from me you psychotic bitch. If any of you fuck with him again, I'll make sure you regret it."

Smirking wickedly when he saw the look of utter humiliation on his ex's face, Levi relished the moment for a hot second before taking Eren's hand in his and booking it down the stairs. There was no way they were going to class after that. It wasn't that the captain was embarrassed or nervous; quite the opposite. Blood rushing through his veins with his heart beating a mile a minute, he couldn't wipe the satisfied expression off his face. Couldn't help it when his pride swelled when he felt Eren give his hand a gentle squeeze as if to tell him he had done the right thing. For years, he had hidden his sexuality out of fear; had worried about what it would be like if he came out and his peers rejected him. But at some point, the captain had stopped caring. Had begun to understand that with Eren at his side, anything was possible for them.

Taking the shortcut through F-Building and cutting across the senior quad, Levi led the brunette to the equipment locker for the North Gym. Neither of them could hold back the excitement bubbling inside them. Of all the ways to come out of the closet, they threw caution to the wind and blew the door off its hinges in a way that would live on in the student body for years to come. Looking around quickly to make sure no one was looking, the captain opened the metal door with the set of keys Coach Shadis had given him at the start of the year then closed it immediately once they were inside. 

The moment they heard the deadbolt lock into place, Eren turned Levi around and pushed him against the locked entrance as their mouths came together and their ravenous hands scrambled to find purchase on each other's bodies. Trails of fire danced along Eren's ribs as Levi teased them up and under his t-shirt while electricity lit up his nerves as their pelvis's ground together--their hardening lengths trapped deliciously between their forms as they melted into the embrace.

"Fuck," Eren stuttered breathlessly as Levi switched positions so that the brunette was wedged between him and the wall. Shivering as his partner bite and licked a trail down his neck, he whimpered while clawing into the fabric of the captains shirt. "L-Levi, my legs are about to give out."

Without a word, Levi spun them around halfway before Eren tripped and pulled them down onto the low stack of tumbling mats. Laughing together, they breathed each other in--taking a minute to appreciate the moment and their victory as a couple. Eren had never been more in love with Levi than he was in that moment. Had never wanted to hold onto someone the way he wanted to hang onto this man who had so boldly declared his love despite the opposition they were up against. Smile growing as he revisited the recent memory of Levi shouting "I like dick!" Eren bit his lip as he carded both hands through his partners' silken hair; relishing the sensation of the strands brushing over his skin.

"I love you Levi Benjamin Ackerman," he said with a light blush dusting his cheeks.

Smiling softly, Levi closed the small space between them and kissed the brunette sweetly. "I love you Eren Noah Jaeger." Kissing Eren's cheek, he whispered, "More than you'll ever know."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

It was almost comical how anxious Jean looked as they walked through the halls to grab something from the student store before heading over to the group hangout by the south gym. Something in the way the guy was gnawing on the inside of his cheek and answering Marco's questions with one to two word answers was struck him as funny considering how confident the blonde usually was. However, despite how entertaining it all was he knew that--beneath it all--there was something bugging him. And as much as Marco wanted to mind his own business and let Jean work it out on his own, he couldn't do that. Not when it looked like he was about to throw himself off a cliff from just anxiety alone.

Reaching the blondes locker, Marco waited until Jean had swapped out his books before acting. With a catlike smile, the brunette grabbed his friend by the strap of his messenger bag and turned him around, heading in the opposite direction of where they were supposed to be going. At first Jean protested by jerking back with his shoulder but admitted defeat when the brunette proceeded to drag him along with a chuckle. He had no idea what was going through Marco's head but fathomed that it equaled trouble since that was usually how things went when he got that devious look on his freckled face. That or he had read the atmosphere and was making an attempt to get him out of his thoughts.

"Marco," Jean smiled curiously as he jogged alongside the brunette. "Dude, where are you going?"

"We're grabbing lunch off campus so hurry up!"

Laughing, he ran ahead as if to taunt the swimmer. Racing across the quad while ignoring the deans who told them to stop running, the two teens hurried down the steps of the front entrance, rounded the corner of the sidewalk and headed up to the student parking lot. Since Marco had a penchant for speeding, it was probably best that he drove. Not wasting a moment, the brunette pulled his keys out when they were within range and unlocked the car. Hopping into the drivers side of the Ford Flex, the swimmer chucked his backpack into the back seat while Jean just shoved his into the foot space of the passenger seat. Not even caring when the blonde took control of the music selection, Marco backed the car out of the student lot before taking a sharp turn down the road that connected to the main road.

Since they were seniors and had an open track for fifth period on Wednesdays, neither of them had to be back before the tardy bell rang. They could take their time and enjoy their temporary escape before having to head back to the old grindstone. Relaxing with a smile playing across his lips as he and Jean sang along to "You Get What You Give" by New Radicals, Marco felt more at ease than he had in the past couple of days. After receiving news that his father would be in town for a few weeks next month, his mood had turned to something more sour and reserved. With Alec in town, he couldn't hangout with his usual group of friends nor could he spend the night at Jean's; that was a definite no so long as his traditionalist stone-faced old man was around. So the brunette took his opportunities when and where they were presented to him and lunch with the spunky blonde was one of the best ways he could spend his time.

After a short drive down the highway that ran parallel to the coastline Marco took the next off-ramp and followed the surface streets before pulling up to Patrick's Roadhouse; a small family owned restaurant the young men used to frequent after their swim and dive meets during their junior high years. Nothing had really changed in the few years the brunette had been away. The antiques hanging on the canary yellow walls were still there and the view from the patio was just as soothing as possible. Fredricka, the owner's wife, even remembered him as he entered the restaurant; greeting him with a warm hug that was every bit as motherly as she was. Grabbing two menu's, the woman led them to the patio so that they could get a good look of the coastline while telling them that their server would be coming around promptly to take their drink order. It was in the moments after they had received their chilled glasses of vanilla Coke that Marco started the conversation before the silence grew stagnant.

"So what's got you so nervous today?" he asked without even bothering to beat around the bush. Knowing Jean, this could stretch on for an eternity if he didn't get to the point. "And don't say it's nothing, 'kay?"

Smiling softly, the blonde looked down at his glass as if he were counting the carbon bubbles as they rose to the top and popped. "You're going to say I'm crazy for doing this."

Marco didn't answer; just waited patiently for him to work it out in his mind on his own.

Shifting his gaze up, Jean felt the sudden urge to run but forced his mind and body to cooperate. "I quit the dance team."

"What?" Marco gawked, nearly choking on his soda. "Wait, why? What happened? I thought you loved dancing."

"I do and it won't be until after city's at the end of November."

"But why?"

"Because there's something else I need to do."

"Like what?" the brunette questioned, still not connecting the dots.

"I've got a promise to keep remember?" Chuckling as he watched the lights slowly switch on behind Marco's deep earthen eyes, Jean smiled with a shake of his head. "You forgot about that one didn't you?"

"You're joining back up with the dive team? I thought you'd be too afraid after what happened."

"I am. But I want to keep my promises because I know I'll regret it if I don't do this."

As much as Marco instinctively wanted to protest, the words died on his tongue when he saw the look in Jeans eyes. It had been a long time since he had seen that kind of fire stir within him. Had been a long time since the coals had been lit to stoke the embers that were still smoldering in him into a full blown blaze. Something had changed since Jean's recovery; something fundamental had shifted within him that urged him to pursue a sport that had betrayed him so terribly, Marco himself had doubted that the blonde would ever get back in the water. But, like all things concerning Jean, the brunette was pleasantly surprised. Waiting until the server had set their food down and left, Marco couldn't help but smile at the prospect of getting to compete alongside his friend again. It was one of the many reasons he had come back to California; the primary cause being the man sitting right in front of him and the idea of just being around him. But this, this was a blessing he would have never seen coming. A surprise only Jean could pull off.

"So when do you start?" Marco asked after swallowing the bite of his sandwich that was in his mouth.

"First week of December after city finals for the dance team. Kat's going to be taking over as captain when I leave."

"So she already knows?"

Jean nodded while washing his food down with a drink from his water. "I told her this morning. I didn't want to keep her in the dark so I told her the moment it was finalized." Looking at Marco in the eyes for the first time since they had sat down, the teen bit at his lip again. "I hope you're alright with this since part of the plan was to drag you along for the ride. I mean, we did say we'd both go to the Olympics after all."

Unable to stop his smile from stretching ear to ear, Marco's eyes lit up as he gently shook his head. "I don't mind at all. I still have a world record to break and an Olympian to beat."

"So we're doing this?"

"Yeah, we're doing this."

Smiling shyly now though not hiding his face, Jean bobbed his head. "Cool."

Marco beamed back. "Cool."

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Levi couldn't think of the last time he had had such a wonderful day. Sitting next to his boyfriend as they ate dinner with his parents and twin as if it were the most normal thing in the world, he couldn't help the smile stretching across his lips that only grew as Kuchel told them of the patient she operated on that day; an older gentleman in his sixties with a green zoo fly tattooed on his pelvis and penis that she had worked on twenty years ago when she first started as a surgical intern. Even funnier was that the man remembered her. Claiming that it was her eyes and loudness that did the trick, she cackled when her children cringed when she told the family that he had asked her out before he was put under.

Threading his fingers more tightly together with Eren's as they inched closer to each other without even thinking--their chairs angling ever so slightly to accommodate them--the captain leaned in to rest his head on the brunette's shoulder. It was so easy being together like this; so natural that it was like second nature to them. Like Mikasa, Eren was a part of Levi; included in the teen's identity and the mirror upon which he often reflected. Their relationship had been so long in the making that even Kuchel and Benjamin breathed a sigh of relief when their son finally came clean and told them he was gay and that he was dating his best friend. It was silly really. So much so that Levi forgot why he had been so frightened in the first place.

Like magnets, they stuck together as they helped clean the dishes with Eren washing and Levi teasing that spots had been missed while he dried the plates and placed them in the cabinet. After dinner, they were paid a surprise visit by Armin who wanted to check in on Mikasa. The week before she had twisted her ankle while heading backstage between acts but insisted on performing despite how much it hurt. The blonde immediately rejected the idea claiming it would only worsen her injury. However, like most arguments went between them, Mika won but told him she'd cut back on dance rehearsals and stick with singing and rest her ankle during the day and ice it in between sets. Kissing her on the cheek as she rolled her eyes at how worried he was, her pout melted into a smile after he whispered something into her ear--stirring a giggle from the twin like magic.

Taking this as their opportunity to escape, Levi and Eren excused themselves, saying the brunette had a chemistry test coming up that he needed Levi's help studying for. Despite knowing better, both parents said nothing and let them go. It wasn't often that their son got this excited to be around someone and they weren't the type to hover or ask questions. Both of their children were responsible and had proved their maturity time and time again so it was okay to let them cut loose every once in a while. Besides, it had been a couple of weeks since they had last had a quiet evening together and appreciated the alone time.

Upstairs with the door discretely locked behind them so that Armin couldn't punk them by barging in, the two young men relaxed on Levi's bed watching a Romeo+Juliet by Baz Luhrmann for the History of Cinema elective class. Leaning into the captain's chest with his arms draped comfortably over his partners that were wrapped around his stomach, Eren drifted in and out of paying attention to the movie. It wasn't as though they needed to remember the time stamps for certain scenes like the honors class Mikasa was in or look for auteur indicators similar to when they had to watch Annie Hall and write down five distinct hallmarks of it being a Woody Allen film. This time, they just had to watch the movie and later write a critical review stating why or why not they liked it. And as tedious as it was trying to keep track of everything happening on-screen, it beat practicing for Eren's chemistry test.

Shifting in place when Romeo and Juliet started getting grabby during the ball scene, Eren turned his face so that it was resting just within the crook of Levi's neck; his nose brushing fair skin beneath the captains Adam's apple. He had never been great at handling romance in movies. It always made him feel awkward watching others kiss or have sex--one of the comprising factors as to why he never watched porn. There was just something too personal about it. Something that should be kept private like a secret whispered between two people. Blushing a little when he heard Levi chuckle--his partner being one of the few people privy to knowing about his awkwardness--Eren curled onto his side so that he could be more tightly enveloped in the other teen's arms.

"Does it really bother you that much still?" Levi teased with a voice so smooth, Eren wanted to punch him for being that cool. Kissing the brunette on the top of his head, the captain buried his face in the thick wavy strands of chestnut brown hair. "How about if I take your mind off of it?"

Before Eren could react Levi tilted his head down and captured his lips in a commanding yet gentle embrace. As it deepened, he reached for the remote to turn off the TV. It seemed that the sweltering heat that had been burning in their veins earlier that day when they had snuck away to the equipment room instead of going to class was still alive within them because the brunette didn't even try to protest. Instead he carded his fingers through Levi's silken raven hair and pulled him even closer. It was suffocating and intoxicating all at once being wrapped together like this with Eren's legs secured around the captains hips as they began to grind together. 

They had touched one another before; had indulged in each other but hadn't given into temptation completely just yet. Levi had restrained himself despite his longing to go further than just touching because he didn't want to rush. Didn't want to scare Eren even though, technically speaking, Eren had the upper hand since the brunette had dated other men before whereas the captain hadn't. Yet when Levi felt his partners hands sliding under the waistband of his jeans, his resolve slowly started to crumble. Every bite to his neck, moan in his ear, and grind upwards into his pelvis had him falling deeper into that well where he could only see bright emerald green with pops of bright gleaming gold.

"Eren," Levi breathed as one of the brunette's hands slipped down to the button on his pants and popped it open before unzipping the fly. "Fuck," he gasped as a warm hand cupped his hardening length. "Eren, we should slow down."

"Why?" the brunette murmured against the damp skin of Levi's neck. "Do you not want to?"

Swallowing hard, the captain backed away just enough to look him in the eyes. "No. The problem is I want too much."

"How much?"

"All of it," Levi admitted; his gaze never once leaving Eren's. "I want you. More than anything right now and I...I don't..."

"I want you too," Eren smiled softly beneath his slightly trembling lover. "I want you Levi." Knitting their hands together, the brunette brought the back of Levi's down to his lips and kissed the smooth alabaster skin; smirking a little when he saw how anxious the captain really was. "It's okay. I know it's your first time with a guy but we'll be fine. We'll take it slow okay. I want you on top anyways so it won't be that much of a difference."

The last part was said partially as a joke to get Levi to relax. They had both been drifting closer and closer in their intimacy and, after what happened that afternoon, neither of them could suppress the fires anymore. It was painful fighting back what he wanted so Eren took the lead so that all Levi would have to do is go with the flow. Framing the captain's face in his hands, the brunette pulled him in for a soothing loving kiss that imparted to his anxious partner that everything would be okay; that he'd be okay. Thankfully, Levi eased into the embrace with more energy than before.

"L-Levi," Eren panted as they ground against each other--their cocks getting harder the more they moved. "Baby...?"

"Yeah?" Levi all but growled as his partner's hands began pushing his pants down his hips.

Hesitating, the brunette struggled to get the words out as Levi's hands pulled at his jeans; tugging his pants down enough so that his length was completely free of his jeans and boxers. "I-I don't want anything between us."

"I want to see you naked too."

"No, that's not what I meant," he moaned as his shirt was removed before he yanked Levi's off and tossed it onto the ground. Sitting up halfway, Eren kissed his partner with a shiver as a hand wrapped around his now fully erect length. "I don't want to use a condom."

Staring at him for a long moment--his gaze giving nothing away--Levi ran his tongue over the line of his teeth. "Why?"

"I don't want anything between us. I want to feel you inside me," the brunette admitted with a faint blush rosying his cheeks. "Last week when I went to have my physical for the team, I got myself tested. Everything's clear so...so I thought we could try it."

"Me too," Levi answered though his voice was rough from the building heat within him. "I asked to get tested too and everything's clean. But are you sure?"

Nodding, Eren kissed him again while tangling the fingers of one hand in those silken strands as the other pulled the captain closer. He was more sure of this than anything decision he had ever made. He wanted Levi and he didn't want anything--even a thin layer of rubber--between them because he needed to feel all of him. Needed to drown in the overwhelming ecstasy of being taken by him; it being something he had dreamt of countless times and had desired for so long. Needed to feel Levi wrap his arms around him, kiss and bite marks into his tan skin, and push deep into him. Eren wanted to see him lose control; wanted to hear his voice thick with pleasure as he came, calling his name as if he were repeating a prayer.

He had to have him. Had to hold Levi as if he were trying to grab hold of a dream because that's what it felt like. Whimpering as his pants were removed entirely followed quickly by his boxers, Eren's breath hitched in his throat when Levi began to trail down his stomach; tongue wandering over the line of his defined torso before circling his navel and kissing the faint happy trail that led further south. Gripping the blanket that smelt so distinctly of the captain, Eren's hips were already shaking as his cock was engulfed in a damp pleasant heat; eyes screwing shut with a stifled moan as he felt Levi's tongue circle around his shaft as the tip hit the back of his throat. He felt like he was about to fly away. Like he had died and that moment and been reborn into a dreamland where it was just them.

As Eren writhed beneath him, Levi quickly reached for the left bedside table. Pulling the top drawer open, he fished around for a moment before finding what he was searching for. Though it had been a year since he and Cassidy broke up, he bought a bottle of lube for the nights when he was feeling restless and couldn't get Eren's face out of his head. He had dreamt of this moment for so long, had wanted to know what it'd feel like being with the brunette, that his hand continued to tremble slightly as he popped the cap open and pour a generous amount onto his fingers. They were both equally matched when it came to experience but Levi's was null and void when it came to the dynamics between men. However he did know what to do and where to touch. He also was well aware that the prostate was the golden spot for guys after suffering through a crash course with Kat who teased him in between the snippets of useful advice she dispensed.

Waiting until Eren was once again distracted with one of his long gorgeous legs draped over his shoulder, Levi pressed the first finger to his entrance before nudging it inside. Body quaking with a sudden gasp, Eren struggled to hold back the moans battling to escape from him as the digit slid all the way in. Pushing down on it when Levi asked if he was in pain and wanted to stop, the brunette brought the captains face up so that it was level with his. Lips crashing onto Levi's, he groaned and panted into his mouth as the finger began to thrust in deeper. This was finally happening. He was finally going to be connected to Levi in one of the greatest ways possible and the thought had him reeling with excitement. Head falling back onto the pillows as the second digit slipped inside--splaying apart to loosen him up more--Eren rolled his hips with the motion while rubbing the flat of his right thigh against Levi's still concealed cock.

"Fuck, Eren," the captain groaned as he delivered a rough thrust to his sensitive entrance while resting his head on the brunette's shoulder. "You're so hot inside. I can't wait to be inside you."

"Me too," Eren breathed as the third finger pushed into him. "S-Shit, right there," he quivered as the slender fingertips brushed past his prostate. "Holy crap Levi, there. Right there!"

Wide-eyed, Levi watched disbelievingly as Eren's back bowed almost instinctively and his hips rocked into the thrusting of his fingers. He had heard that stimulating the prostate made for powerful orgasms but he didn't expect it to be anything like this. Seeing the brunette so overwhelmed with pleasure was more than just a little exciting. It was downright criminal how hot he looked right now--bronzed skin flushed pink with a thin veil of sweat coating his body and dampening his hair. Any hope of keeping his cool the next time they were in the locker room was swiftly abandoning him because Levi wanted to burn this picture of Eren into his mind. Wanted to see it when he closed his eyes or when he was feeling stressed. Worse than any drug, the brunette had him hooked with just a few simpering moans and kisses.

"That's enough," Eren whined as the fingers teased his sweet spot more causing a jolt to race up his spine. "Levi, please. I don't wanna come yet. Please? I want you."

Without him having to say another word, Levi dutifully obeyed. Gently retracting his fingers from the intense heat, he made quick work of removing the rest of his clothes before slicking his member up. It was as he ground into Eren--his length teasing the brunette's entrance a few times--that the reality of the situation caught up with him. This was it. This, what he had wanted for years, was about to happen. Hands trembling again, he gasped quietly when Eren took those sweaty palms in his, wove their fingers together, and brought them to rest on either side of his head as he leaned forward to kiss the captain. It was sweet and innocent, like an unspoken promise. He was telling Levi again that they would be fine; that everything was okay, the assurance being something he greatly needed. It wasn't that he was new to the concept of sex or what went on. But this was the first time he was actually in love with his partner.

Leaning down more so he could again kiss Eren, Levi whispered, "I love you" against his lips before pushing inside. Head falling to rest against the brunette's shoulder as his partner bit back a cry of pleasure, he had to pause for a moment so that he could collect himself. "It's so hot inside you," Levi breathed almost as if he were talking to himself.

Nudging at the captains chin with his nose, Eren smiled when the captain leaned in for another kiss. "You have no idea how good I feel right now." Kissing him again as the final gap shrank and they were fully connected, he whispered back, "I love you Levi."

"Love you more."

"Nuh uh."

"Yeah huh."

Smiling as they went back and forth for a minute over who love whom more, Eren ran his fingers through Levi's hair wearing a look of sheer joy. This was all he had wanted. To love and be loved by this man. He didn't know what was in store for them later down the line or what would happen after graduation but none of that mattered right now. None of it scared him because with Levi at his side, they could do anything. Together they were stronger; better and made whole in each others loving gaze. Kissing him as they began to move, Eren dropped a hand to rest between his fair shoulders while the other stayed tangled in his hair. He wanted the captain as close as possible. Didn't want there to be even a fraction of an inch between them.

Heat building and breaths quickening, Levi fell deeper and deeper into the growing euphoria. Bodies slicked with sweat and lips selfishly devouring one another, they couldn't get out more than a few syllables before one of them moaned or cried out in ecstasy. Hands gripping those perfect thighs wrapped in lean muscle and flawless sun-kissed skin, one aimlessly wandered over the brunette's hip where it rubbed loving circles into the hipbone with the pad of his thumb before moving on. Meandering until it slipped around Eren's waist, Levi was delighted with the gasp of his name when his fingertips brushed over the dimples at the base of his partners spine. Pressing together more so that the brunette cock was trapped between them, he teased the dimples--loving the reaction it drew from Eren.

"Shit, you're so tight and hot," Levi groaned between kisses; moving from Eren's lips to his neck were he worried marks into the flushed skin. "So good. You're so perfect Eren. Fuck, I love you."

"M-Me too Levi. Fuck I love you so much I'm going to go crazy." Hips bucking forward when Levi's tip pushed past his prostate, Eren stifled a scream while his nails clawed into his lover's alabaster skin. "T-There! Keep hitting there. Oh fuck, please don't stop!"

"You gonna cum Eren?"

The brunette nodded with tears streaking his cheeks.

"Me too babe. I'm gonna cum. I want to so bad."

Trembling as each thrust wound him up tighter and tighter--edging him closer to climax every time--Eren kissed his cheek before burying his face against the side of the captains. "Do it. Cum for me Levi."

"You too. Do it with me Eren."

It didn't take long for either of them to fulfill each others wishes. With one more precisely angled thrust, Eren soared into climax--his entire body going taut as he came. Seconds behind him, Levi growled as he came harder than he ever had before. Unlike all the other times he had done this, it didn't end until he was sapped of all his energy because the tight heat around him was unrelenting. Collapsing against Eren's boneless frame, he could only lay there breathing hard while waiting for his heart to come back down and with his lungs which struggled to bring in adequate enough air. Closing his eyes as he slowly pulled out, he laid there with his ear pressed to the brunette's chest; listening to his steady pulse that acted like a red thread keeping him anchored to reality--to this moment. Using the only energy he had left, Levi wrapped an arm around the top of Eren's head as he kissed the patch of golden skin above his heart.

"Love you Eren," he murmured as sleep overcame him.

Laughing quietly as he watched Levi's eyes flutter shut, Eren pulled the blanket over them. "Love you more Levi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's for Eren and Levi; our favorite socially awkward boys in love.
> 
>  
> 
> *TECHNICOLOUR BEAT*  
> by Oh Wonder
> 
> Lay down your slow  
> Come settle down, settle down  
> Let loose your glow  
> Come settle down, settle down
> 
> And I feel life for the very first time  
> Love in my arms and the sun in my eyes  
> I feel safe in the 5am light  
> You carry my fears as the heavens set fire
> 
> Jump into the heat  
> Spinning on our feet  
> In a technicolour beat  
> You and me  
> Caught up in a dream  
> In a technicolour beat
> 
> Beat  
> Beat  
> Beat
> 
> Warm unalone  
> Come settle down, settle down  
> Swing me your bones  
> Come settle down, settle down
> 
> And I feel life for the very first time  
> Love in my arms and the sun in my eyes  
> I feel safe in the 5am light  
> You carry my fears as the heavens set fire
> 
> Jump into the heat  
> Spinning on our feet  
> In a technicolour beat  
> You and me  
> Caught up in a dream  
> In a technicolour beat
> 
> Beat
> 
> Give me one drop  
> I can feel you  
> Make me lose control  
> We be walking  
> On the water  
> We're moving in a technicolour beat  
> Moving in a technicolour beat
> 
> Jump into the heat  
> (Falling off the ceiling)  
> Spinning on our feet  
> We're moving in a technicolour beat  
> You and me  
> (Found another feeling)  
> Caught up in a dream  
> We're moving in a technicolour beat
> 
> Jump into the heat  
> Spinning on our feet  
> In a technicolour beat  
> You and me  
> Caught up in a dream  
> In a technicolour beat
> 
> Beat  
> Beat


	7. Beloved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the change of seasons comes a change in friendships.....

Jean was up thirty minutes before the alarm had gone off; same as the day before that and the day before that. After a brisk shower, he removed his retainer with a cringe from the lingering pressure the object had exerted on his teeth for the past twelve hours. Brushing his teeth as he let his hair air dry, he rinsed off the toothbrush, slipped into his boxers and t-shirt, and hustled to his room to find something to wear to school. As he struggled to tug on his black joggers the blonde slapped the top of his alarm clock to stop its screeching. He was still getting used to his new schedule despite it being somewhat similar to the one he had for dance.

October and November had passed in a blur of competitions, training, victories, and tears as he took his last bow at city finals as the captain of the legendary Pacific Palisades dance team. He had never seen Kat break out into tears before; she snapping at him for making her "cry ugly." It was strange to think that from that day forward, he'd no longer step foot in the dance suite that he used to live in every morning--training for hours so that his moves and form was perfect. Strange was it to see his dance shoes in the corner by the door with his captains hoodie draped over the back of his desk chair. The hoodie that was now a relic of the past that was a faded black after years of use was given to him the day he had been promoted from just a dance team member to the captain. He had worn it to Disneyland when they had attended a dance competition sponsored by the corporation and also on his first date with his first boyfriend. It was in the pictures of him and Zuzu when they had visited her family in Toronto and when he and Eren went to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal studios last year. That jacket that represented so much of who he was now sat patiently on the chair the way a toy sits on the self--their owner now too old to play with it but cherishing it enough to keep it as a token.

Glancing over his shoulder at the jacket, Jean smiled before closing the bedroom door. He may not belong to that world anymore but he'd never forget what it meant to him and what it gave him.

Bounding down the stairs with all the energy and zeal of idealized youth, the blonde kissed his father on the cheek while swiping a toasted bagel from the breakfast tray he and Jackson he been putting together. It was a shame that swim and dive practice started so much earlier than dance because now he had to forgo breakfast with Ezra four days out of the week. And while they still had dinner together most days, their morning ritual was one of the teen's favorite things. It was a sweet peaceful time when he could just be the man's son and Ezra was just his weird lovable old man. But like all things, this too changed with the upheaval that came when Jean pulled a complete one-eighty and went back to diving.

Promising to drive safely and not text while on the road, Jean checked his backpack for his keys and tossed his inhaler into the front pocket after grabbing it out of Jackson's hand--the man giving him the usual fatherly expression as if he knew the blonde was trying to leave the device at home without being caught. Hoping the look on his face would make him appear more innocent than he was, Jean chuckled awkwardly as he stepped out the door and unlocked his car. Sliding into the front seat with a shiver, he was about to start the engine when a text sounded.

MARCO: Hey, you on campus yet or just leaving?

A smile blossomed across the teen's face as his eyes light up. Marco messaged him first thing in the morning, every morning since they had reconciled and now they were on the same team again.

JEAN: Just leaving. You??

MARCO: Just got to school. I'm gonna start my warm up's, 'kay. The locker room is open so head on in when you get here.

JEAN: 'Kay. See you soon. :)

MARCO: See ya'. :-]

Allowing himself a moment to smile and blush like the starry eyed dork he thought himself to be, the blonde started the car, turned on the heater, and picked a playlist to listen to on the way to school. For the last two weeks of November his grandparents had been visiting from France. Thankfully, he had remembered enough of his French to get by in conversations with them. However, his grand-mere had commented on how informal his speech was; that being something that required correcting if he was to blend in when he and Ezra went to visit them over the summer. So that morning he decided it'd be best to listen to his French playlist. Singing along to "La Lumiere" by Orelsan with mild difficulty, he made a mental note to work on his annunciation with Ezra over dinner tomorrow and on the weekend when they had their lazy Saturday.

Cutting through the fog that had choked up the canyon pass, Jean had to slow down when the visibility got worse. Mumbling curses in his father's native tongue under his breath, the blonde turned on his fog lights. As he did, a joker in a red sedan came roaring down the curve going opposite of him and blinded Jean for a moment with their halogen high beams. Hissing sharply as he pulled over, he had to blink a number of times before his vision returned. 'Just another reason why drivers in California suck,' he groused. Looking at the clock on the dash, he sighed. 'Great, now I'm running late.' Peeling back onto the road, he drove as quickly and safely as he could to make sure he made it to campus on time.

Making it to school with a full hour before classes started, Jean bolted from his car with his swim and dive duffel in tow. Locking the car as he ran, he tried to hide the smile from bubbling up again. Every day spent with Marco was like a day in heaven. It was paradise having one of his best friends back. Not having him around was painful enough and being angry at him had been torture. But now they were back together again--as close as they had been all those years ago and, once again, they were on each other's team. Now and forever, he wanted to stay this way with the brunette at his side.

Switching into his black compression swimming jammers with a violet stripe down the side, the blonde removed the four studs in his ears, slipped his contacts into their travel case, and grabbed his parka with 'Kirstein 3' on the back and captain down the left sleeve before leaving the locker room. Eyes fixed on his phone as he padded out to the deck of the aquatics center, he didn't see Marco sitting on the ground doing his stretches. It was only until the brunette hollered loud enough to bring him back from the confines of his mind that the blonde realized he was two feet from falling into the pool with all his dry gear on.

"Mornin' sleeping beauty," Marco teased as he bent in half to reach for his right ankle. "I take it you didn't have your coffee this morning."

Rolling his eyes with a huff, Jean kicked some water at the other captain; smirking when it nailed him in the face. "I'm perfectly fine this morning. Just a little sidetracked."

"Well pull your head out of the clouds because we only have forty-five minutes for pre-rounds."

Slipping out of his sandals and parka, Jean started his stretches as Marco continued with his. But as the brunette leaned forward to take hold of his left ankle, he saw the other captain flatten himself against the wall by the equipment room with one leg all the way up and the other holding him in place. It had been so long since they had swam together that he had forgotten about the guys peculiar way of loosening up. Trying not to look like a man starved, he watched as Jean switched legs and folded himself in half against the wall. If the blonde knew what was going through his head in that moment or where his eyes were wandering, would he freak out and run away? Would Jean stop talking to him if he knew Marco was fighting for control of his lower half as he watched Jean bend over backwards into a perfect arch? 

Mouth dry and throat tight as his eyes drifted below the other captains' navel, he bit his lip hard before shaking the thoughts from his head. He needed to get into that cold pool before he was found out. He had to get away from this teasing visual that clawed at his self-restraint with every flex, twist, and turn of that perfect pale body.

"Hey, so you going to Armin's show tonight?" Marco asked to distract himself from the view in front of him. "I think it's at that venue Eren's brother owns."

"Yeah, he told me about it but I told him I'd have to check to see if I'm free." Bringing his legs up one by one, they went up and over as Jean righted himself before dropping gracefully into a split. "I have to study for my calc three test but I should be free," he said while leaning forward to touch his forehead to his knee with both hands wrapped around his right ankle. "What about you? You going?"

The brunette had to take a moment to remember how to breathe before answering. "Yeah, I was thinking about it since Kat won't leave me alone about it."

Looking up at his friend with a devilish little grin, Marco would've been dead if looks could kill because Jean's expression was criminal. "You too? Zuzu's been bugging me too. Apparently I'm not getting out enough these days."

"Kat told me the same thing."

"Guess we're both shut-in's."

"It would seem like it." Silently swallowing the desire and guilt building in his gut, he averted his gaze as the tauntingly obtuse blonde rose and walked over to him. "Time to start laps," he said before rolling into the pool. 

Moments later, just as Jean began to laugh, the brunette surfaced and grabbed him by the ankle and dragged him into the pool with a yelp.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound pitched high and loud through the speakers in the makeshift studio Armin had created in his grandfather's garage as he played the opening riff to the band's latest song. Taking inspiration from the punk movement and modern Japanese rock to create their own fast moving apocalyptic rock opera sound, the blonde hit unbelievable pitches with ease then dropped his vocals to something deeper than what he normally sang with. It wasn’t any wonder why the crew picked him to be their lead singer. However, unlike most groups in modern history, Armin tried to stay away from hard politics while writing his music. Thankfully, he had his entire band to bounce ideas off of and currently he was digging the pitch change they had made to the opening.

Tapping the toe of his beaten up Converse high tops along to the beat to keep tempo, he smiled as he sang, "if you're spoiled like Kennedy, I ain't got no sympathy! Cut the shit and turn up the lights! Come on sweet baby and kiss me 'cause I'm all yours tonight. H-Hey!" Behind him, Annie was strumming along on her Manson sunburst stained bass guitar with a smile teasing at the corners of her lips as she watched her bandmate rock out without a care in the world. Golden hair whipping through the air as it violently fell from his bun, Armin jumped in place as he played the instrumental section with Sasha backing him up on the rhythmic guitar as Connie wailed on the drums.

Biting the corner of his pierced lip with a childlike smile, he was a total departure from the tamed honor's student everyone at school knew him to be. Torn up black skinny jeans with a grease stained flannel tied around his hips, scuffed brown Doc Marten's, and a plain white tee with the sleeves cuffed, he was the poster boy for mild-mannered teenage angst and promising youth all in one bundle. Talented and driven, he was determined to win the Battle of The Bands that night. It was their time; he could taste it and was ready to fight for it.

Sitting in the far corner on the out of commission subwoofer that the band busted half a year ago, Mikasa watched her boyfriend shred up the guitar with a tantalizing look in his eyes as he stared her down during the refrain. She may not have been involved with their group because she didn't want to "Yoko Ono it" as she had put it a year ago, but the young woman attended every rehearsal and show. Not only was it a good way to spend time with her favorite nerd in flannel, but she could scare off any new girls that tried to make a pass at Armin at their shows. It wasn't that she didn't trust him; she knew him better than most and understood perfectly that he would never cheat on her. However, she didn't trust other women because she knew how they got.

Smiling as they faded out of the first song then played the guitar solo that opened "Scarecrow", she cocked her head to the side sweetly as Armin sang her song. Back when they were no taller than a grasshopper's knee, Eren and Mika hit their growth spurts before everyone else and while that was okay for a boy, most kids didn't see this as a good thing for a girl. Her height made her an easy target for bullies which took joy in teasing her before she had learned to stand up for herself. However, like a knight coming to her aid, Armin would step in and take on boys that were twice his size. Every time someone made her cry or sad, he would get to them if Levi and Eren hadn't already. Sometimes the three boys would get in trouble because they all had been caught taking on the group of bullies that normally picked on Mika.

That hateful nickname, Scarecrow, had now been turned into a song of empowerment gifted to her by a boy that had always been there for her and she hoped would never leave her side. If he weren't practicing for their show that night, she'd jump him in that moment and kiss him breathless. 'My Armin,' Mikasa thought with a gentle smile as his jewel blue eyes watched her as he sang "if you stay I would wait 'til the end of days, or until my heart explodes. Oh how long! Your lipstick stains my sleeve. I'll carry you with me forever so runaway with me and we'll go so far!" Feet swinging in time with the melody, it was moments like this that had her falling for him all over again. Those long summer afternoons they spent together playing in the treehouse while Eren and Levi were off at soccer practice--they were so fresh in her mind. That sweet kindhearted boy with the blonde bowl cut and round reading glasses had grown up into a beautiful young man with a soul made of gold and he was all hers.

Walking right up into her space as the song entered the last verse and chorus, Armin played the instrumental refrain while gazing up at Mikasa. It was surprising that his bandmates didn't keel over from how disgustingly sweet they were on each other. Chances were it was likely because they knew that he and her were a packaged deal; one couldn't have him without her and vice versa. That was how it had always been. Since their diaper years when he would cry like a brat if she left their preschool before he had been picked up, Armin and Mika were more of an item than she was with her twin. Whereas she and Levi could tolerate some space between them and go days without talking--though they rarely did--the same could not be said for her and the blonde. They needed each other; craved one another and it showed nearly every song he penned since the groups formation.

Those deep eyes of swirling hematite grey held him with the utmost adoration and reverence before she leaned down and kissed his forehead from atop her perch. Smiling happily, he spun away with a wily "Yow!" Returning to the center of the stage, he sang the last portion of the song before Sasha closed it out with Connie providing the supporting vocals to Armin's absence. The blonde had to keep tabs on how much he was exerting himself during practice, especially after being out with the flu for a week. As it had turned out, Jean wasn't the only one to have caught the sickness nearly a month ago. The damn bug had worked its way through the student body--striking him more recently than the rest of his friends. He had only started recovering a four or so days ago causing some of his bandmates to wonder if he could handle singing three songs that night; four if they made it into the final round.

"You feeling alright?" Mika asked as she hopped down from the subwoofer and closed the gap between her and Armin. "You look a bit more flushed than usual. How's your temperature?"

Rolling his eyes with a humored smirk as she pressed the underside of her wrist to his sweaty forehead, he leaned in and kissed her. "I'm fine Mika."

"You sure? You feel a little warm."

"We're practicing in a stuffy garage with most of the windows closed. I swear, I don't have a fever anymore. You were there when it broke, remember?"

"Yeah but still, I worry about you babe."

"Dude, just let her fuss over you. It's what chicks do," Connie snarked cheekily as he drenched his buzzcut hair with some water from his bottle next to the kickstand.

"Oh really?" Sasha countered with an arched brow as she threw a wadded up gum wrapper at her oaf of a boyfriend.

Laughing as they watched the display carry on between Sasha and Connie while Annie--minding her own business--dodged the antics as she walked away while texting her brother Reiner. Despite being a year younger than the rest of them, she was the most mature; sometimes more so than Armin but these occurrences were far and few. Still, she was more of an adult than the couple currently playing wack-a-mole around the drum set with each other as the targets.

"Hey, I gotta bounce early. My mom's making dinner and she'll throw a fit if I miss it again," Annie told them as she reached for her guitar case to put away her bass. Securing the instrument in place, she closed the lid and slung the case strap over her shoulder. "We're meeting up here at eight right?"

"Yeah. Later Annie," Armin said as they bumped fists.

"Later. Oh yeah, and make sure you take it easy dude and sleep some before the competition. I'm gonna text Mika later to make sure you're taking care of yourself, 'kay."

"Yeah, I get."

"Cool. Later."

Waiting until she left, Armin sighed as he turned back around in Mika's close embrace. "I just can't win against you women."

"We are the superior species," the young beauty smirked as she kissed his cheek.

"God help us all."

"Nah, he's on our side."

"Right, how foolish of me to forget."

"Foolish indeed." Smiling like a cat that ate the family canary, Mikasa gently tugged him by the arm. "Come on, break time. Sasha and Connie can dick around in here if they want but you need to relax."

Knowing better than to protest, Armin just smiled softly and followed as his knight in tattered denim led him away from the stuffy garage.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The cold air blew in through the open window of Eren's bedroom as the storm clouds rolled and the moon climbed higher in the early evening sky. Clad in their boxers and t-shirts, the young men were wrapped snugly around one another; their legs tangled together, feet tapping the soles of the other, and arms holding each other close. This was how they were nearly everyday after practice. Levi would come over to help Eren with chem or Eren would go to Levi's to play video games. Their night would either progress to them unwinding by indulging in one another or passing out from the strain of a long day. But regardless of the route they took, it always ended with them in bed asleep together. 

This little world that consisted of only them was so perfect--so wonderful--that it pained Eren to wake to the sound of the alarm he had set for them. They both had agreed to go to the Battle of The Bands event that night to support Armin's band. They did every time, but now that he and Levi were together it was rough tearing himself away from these perfect moments. Groaning as he rolled over to tap the snooze on his phone, the brunette glared at the clock with disdain. 'How is it already six-thirty?' he pondered as he laid there on his stomach eyeing the time. 'Wasn't it just three?' 

Rolling over--his hips still slightly sore from the last romp he and Levi had before passing out--the brunette patted his boyfriend on the shoulder once then twice and then a third time when the first two tries didn't work. Nudging him, Eren kissed the shell of Levi's ear; a surefire way of waking him up since he was so sensitive there. Like magic, the captain cracked a single steely eye open though half of his face remained mushed into the pillows with his hair in complete disarray atop his head. Giggling deep in his throat, Eren kissed Levi's forehead, nose, cheek, then lips to further rouse him.

"Come on baby. It's time to start getting ready for the show," the brunette murmured sweetly into his partner's ear with tender pecks to his jaw and neck.

Almost whimpering, Levi sighed. "Can't we stay like this for just ten more minutes?"

"Armin will kill us if we're late. You know how bad he gets before a show. I bet he hasn't slept in days because of this and how sick he's been."

"Yeah but I haven't had any real time with you for days either." Wrapping his arms firmly around Eren's waist, Levi tried to prevent him from leaving the bed. "Just ten more minutes."

"Sorry but we gotta shower." Idea sparking in his head, Eren bit his lip with a devious smile. "You could always join me."

"We always shower together, genius."

"Well fine, if you don't want to fool around a bit before we leave," the brunette grunted as he slipped out of the captain's hold. Smirking when he saw the sudden spark of interest in Levi's eyes, he continued. "Oh well, I guess I'll just rinse off alone. Try not to drool on the pillows while I'm gone baby."

Watching Eren disappear into the en suite bathroom with that devilish look in his eyes, Levi sprang up from the bed and booked it to the shower to join his boyfriend. The brat just knew him too well. Knew exactly what to say, how to say it, and how to work that little cheeky grin that drove the captain wild. And as Eren caught him in his arms as Levi entered the shower, he didn't even care that he was putty in the brunettes hands. He would happily stay that way so long as they were together.

"Took you long enough," Eren smiled as they pressed against one another with heat building between them.

"Yeah, yeah, you win" But there was no sourness in Levi's words; just fondness as their lips came together. "How long do we have?"

"Twenty minutes so you better get to work."

"Yes sir," he chuckled.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Packed into Jean's white Kia was Marco and Kat in the back with Zuzu riding shotgun. He had suggested that they all carpool with him as the designated driver because he knew there would be drinking that night. However, what he hadn't accounted for was the clash of music personalities between the two women. It hadn't occurred to him because he had never ridden with both of them in his car at the same car and he and Marco had the same taste in music so there was never a problem there. Yet as Zuzu sang along passionately to "I Am The Best" by 2NE1 Kat's eyes were rolling so far back into her head that Jean wondered if they'd get stuck that way. While the dancer liked club music well enough, it was only for performance purposes. And 2NE1 was more pop than it was dance and the repetitiveness of the melody was gnawing at her nerves.

Reaching forward to take Jean's iPhone so that she could pick a different song, Kat was blocked when Zuzu picked up the device and wagged a finger at her insync with the lyrics "No, no, no." Eyes aflame and air blowing through her nose like a bull ready to charge, she would've fought her for that phone had Marco not grabbed her by the collar and told her to chill. Up front, Jean grabbed the phone with a snarky "thank you" that had Zuzu sticking her tongue out at him in between pouts. When both of them started bickering over what he should play next--Kat demanding some classic rock and Zuzu lobbying for more k-pop--the blonde smirked and put on something that was sure to annoy them both. As predicted, the women groaned as "Love My Way" by The Psychedelic Furs came on; Kat even going as far as to kick the back of his seat and that's with Marco between them.

"Jesus, I'm only kidding you dickheads," he snarked as he switched it over to "Bad Girls" by M.I.A. Directing his attention back to the road for a brief moment, he looked into the the rear view when he heard Marco chuckling. "What?"

"Nothing. You're just always the peace keeper."

"Well someone's gotta be."

Taking the PCH to Santa Monica, it didn't take long to find the venue; namely because he went with Eren and Mikasa every three months. Saturn was the love child of Eren's brother Zeke and his fiancee, Salma. Combining his numerous degrees in business and marketing and her obsession for space, the end result was some lovechild with all the hype of a five-star club and the atmosphere of a funky yet edgy lounge that could switch moods on a dime. Catering to the hip-hop crowd every Friday and Sunday, it hosted a Throwback Thursday each week, and Cause A Riot rock Saturdays. The spot was so popular, there was always a line at the door that only got bigger as the night progressed with a bouncer manning the door who Jean swore had no sense of humor. Luckily, anyone who was a friend of Eren's was a friend of Zeke's and did not have to wait for anything.

Breezing past the line of disbelieving and, undoubtedly, jealous onlookers, Jean greeted Marvin, the bouncer who looked exceptionally annoyed that evening. Stamping their hands with a spade rubber stamp that glowed neon green under the ultraviolet lights, he let the four friends past the dark purple velvet rope before latching it again. When members of the crowd behind him started whining he turned around and shot them the coldest glare possible--quieting the complaints instantly.

Setting the mood inside Saturn was the latest album from the Gorillaz that blasted through the embedded sound system in the vaulted ceilings. The entire bar really looked like it belonged somewhere out in the galaxy. Adorned with concealed mood lights that changed between heavenly blue, dreamy violet, cotton candy pink, gold yellow, and vibrant lime green, the whole space was designed with smooth white walls that curve and twisted to create depth and dimension--making some rooms seem larger than they were while accentuating the bigger gathering areas. There were small alcoves where groups of friends gathered for laughs and drinks with bottles of liquor on their tables that ran somewhere into the triple digits. 

And it was at Saturn and there alone that people from all walks of life could mingle and just appreciate music together since Zeke didn't pull the same stunts as other club owners did to appeal to a certain demographic. Patrons young and old, wealthy and middle class, and of all musical tastes socialized in this strange space that was so out of this world it could have only been imagined by a Jaeger.

"Hey, finally you guys are here," Eren called from across the first bar room. At his side as the man always was was Levi. "We were wondering if you'd ever make it."

"You said be here by eight at the latest," Jean spoke over the music.

"Yeah but that really means be here at seven-thirty."

Glancing from the brunette to Levi, the blonde shook his head. "I don't know how you deal with him."

"It takes practice," the captain said with a playful lopsided grin.

"And the patience of a saint," Jean added then bumped fists with Levi. "How you doing? Finals are coming up soon for you right since you're in AP."

"Yeah but it's whatever. I've been doing this for the past three years so it's not a big deal."

"Humble as always," Eren beamed softly before leaning in to kiss his cheek.

Shifting in place, Jean tried to ignore how awkward their PDA made him feel at times. "So how's Armin holding up? You guys saw him right?"

"Yeah, we saw him," Eren said as he stood up straight though he and Levi were still holding onto one another. "He's alright for the most part but they changed their set a little for the night to accommodate for his strained voice."

"Mika told him to withdraw from this competition but the kid wouldn't listen," Levi added. "Stubborn brat is worse than you sometimes."

"Wow, thanks babe."

"Just being honest."

Rolling his eyes, Eren returned his attention to the conversation at hand. "Anyway, he's chilling backstage with the crew and Mika. She's keeping her eye on him like always so I doubt there's much to worry about. You know how she gets when one of us is sick."

"Yeah, and that goes double for Armin," Jean chuckled. "Did you guys already get your drinks?"

"Eren did but I'm staying neat tonight," the captain affirmed.

"You're the DD?"

"Yeah. He was DD last time so it's my turn."

"Right. Guess we're both having cola tonight," the blonde smirked. "I'm going to get something to drink though. We'll be back in a sec, 'kay."

Eren just nodded. "Cool. We'll go scope out a spot to watch the show from."

"'Kay. See ya'."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

It was halftime for the competition and five bands had already been eliminated from the ranks. Unsurprisingly, Armin's group--Killjoy--had made it into the fourth and final round along with four others. Among them was the crowd favorite, Holy, and the three-time winner Saint Catherine. All three had similar sounds but Killjoy was the dark horse because they could switch so easily between rock, pop, and grunge; sometimes combining all three to make something only they could pull off.

As the finalists relaxed or practiced backstage with their groups, Jean hung out in the primary lounge room with Marco, Kat, Zuzu, and Eren and Levi who had been sticking so closely to each other, the blonde wondered if they had glued themselves together. 'They're more handsy than usual,' he thought to himself as he caught Eren's hand massaging small soothing circles into his boyfriends hip. It had been so long since he had been intimately involved with someone in such a gentle way that the concept was almost foreign to him. The only person he had dated that was upright and kindhearted had broken up with him because he couldn't get over Jean's age; it always being an issue because the blonde seemed to attract older men.

'Speak of the devil,' he groaned internally when the very man himself sat down at the bar some four seats away.

Jamieson Avery McMillan or "Jamie" as everyone else knew him, was the closest Jean ever got to falling in love with someone that wasn't Marco. Frontman of Saint Catherine and a music major at UCLA, they met a year and a half ago at the last semi-final for the Saturn Battle of The Bands. They hit it off instantly and started dating after that first night. Not only was he one of the most genuine people Jean knew, the guy was the best sex he had ever had and the one of the few people he had let see him in his more vulnerable moments. Had they lasted longer, maybe he could have fallen for him; could have forgotten Marco and given up on something that would never come true. Going still when his amber eyes were met by the indecipherable obsidian gaze of Jamie's dark eyes, the blonde felt his heart stutter. There was nothing left between them but he was still devastating in his beauty. A killer in disguise with a smile so charming it could bring anyone to their knees.

Picking up his glass of whiskey, he closed the space between them with a smirk playing across his plush lips. Wavy black hair pulled back into a bun with tendrils falling forward to frame his fair heart-shaped face and dressed like in the same dark skinny jeans, hightops, and chambray button down Jean remembered him wearing countless times before, it was hard to ignore the draw he felt. Lately he had been feeling so shitty about his situation and hopeless that anyone would do. The blonde knew it was wrong to substitute one person with another--to use someone like that--but Jean couldn't help it. Marco would never love him the way he wanted him to and it was leaving an emptiness in him that grew with every day. He had told himself time and time again that they were best as friends; that he was happy with being just friends. But that hunger to be loved and cherished by him grew in intensity every time Marco smiled, every time he laughed. Every morning Jean woke up to see the brunette sleeping next to him killed a part of him. Every pre-practice they spent together twisted the knife a little deeper into his already bleeding heart.

With Jamie, he was able to forget that pain--that hunger--for a moment. Like a man starved, Jean selfishly took what he wanted from the guy without thinking twice because he wanted so badly to feel anything apart from the loneliness he had grown accustomed to. Seeing Jamie now was like gazing into a mirror where all his demons came back to greet him. The given reason for their breakup may have been Jean's age but they both knew it was something else. Something that the singer could never give him no matter how much the teen wanted it.

"I had a feeling I'd see you here," Jamie smiled kindly. "You here with Armin's group right?"

Nodding, Jean swallowed hard on the nerves building at the back of his throat. "Yeah. Tonight's a big deal for him."

"He's doing pretty well so far. Guess his lucky charms are working for him." Pausing for a moment, Jamie bit the inside of his cheek. "You look good. I was thinking about you the other day; don't know why but I started wondering how you've been. If you've been taking care of yourself and shit like that."

"I've been alright. Busy with school."

"How's the dance team? Did nationals already pass or is that coming up?"

"Uh, it's next month but umm," he stammered, anxiously rubbing the back of his neck, "I kinda left the team."

Jamie's brows furrowed. "What? Why? You were great."

"Because I'm going back to diving."

"What--?"

Before the singer could finish his inquiry, Marco came up to stand beside Jean. He had caught the scene as it was playing out from where he was sitting a couple seats away and decided to intervene when he saw the blonde's leg jiggling. Jean may have thought he was skilled at hiding his worries but the guy was an open book to him. He could see something about the other man's presence was bugging him and that, in turn, irked Marco. They may not be an item but that didn't mean that he couldn't be protective of his friends. That was normal for them; always had been. But since when was anything about their relationship normal? Dismissing the thought from his mind, Marco stared down the other brunette with a gaze so cold it could kill. 

"Hey, is everything okay over here?" he asked; eyes darting from Jean to the stranger. "You are?"

"Jamie McMillan. I'm with Saint Catherine," he said extending a hand to the brunette.

Looking at the hand for a moment but not taking it, Marco arched a brow. "How do you know Jean?"

"We used to date," the singer said as if it were the easiest thing to admit to. Taking a moment to look Marco up and down, his eyes slowly widened as he put two and two together. "You must be the Marco I've heard so much about."

"Jamie, don't," Jean threatened.

"Sorry," he raised a hand in apology. "It's just a surprise to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you and was hoping to someday meet you."

"Why would you want to meet me?" Marco asked, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Jamie chuckled. Man, the kid was clueless. "You'll figure it out eventually. Anyway, I have to get back to the green room. It was good seeing you Jean," he said with a warm hug. "Take care of yourself, 'kay." Turning to Marco, he patted his shoulder once. "It was a pleasure. Enjoy the show, 'kay kids. See ya' around."

Watching as the singer retreated, Marco waited until he was gone before turning back to Jean. "What was that about?"

Sighing with eyes fluttering shut, Jean licked his lips then shook his head. "It's nothing."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

The first three rounds of the competition were a cakewalk for Armin and the other members of Killjoy. Belting out the crowd-pleasing "Crash Queen" without fail then stirring things up with the controversial "Teens As Target Practice" followed by their number one hit "Scarecrow," hardly anyone stood a chance against them that night. From generation z backstage brats to baby-boomers looking for something out of the ordinary, everyone found something to love when Killjoy performed. It was almost humorous watching some of the younger audience members lose their shit the third time the band came to the stage--Armin having pulled his hair back into a loose bun so that he could see the layout better and blushing almost immediately when the girls in the front tried grabbing at his pants.

As calm and collected as he may have appeared on the outside, on the inside Armin was a nervous wreck. They had never been this close to winning a battle of the bands before. Sure, they had advanced to the second round plenty of times but now they were one performance away from winning and having their name entered into the all-star concert that took place at the end of the year. If they made it to the All-Stars, the chances of them getting signed were in the ballpark of eighty percent. And while that wasn't the end goal for him--he being more about the artistry than anything else--Armin knew that it would mean the world to his team if they got a deal.

Sweat beading on his forehead from the intense heat of the stage lights and stomach knotting as reality sank in, he swallowed hard on the anxiety building inside him. Electric shivers shooting up his spine and through his fingers and legs, his eyes searched frantically for something familiar to grab onto; a friendly face in the crowd that he could relax to when gazing upon it. It was then that he saw Eren, Jean, Levi, and Mikasa all clumped together at the center of the crowd; their faces cast in an ever changing array of candy colored lights.Smiling that boyish smile when Mika mouthed the words "you got this," he felt the terror leave his body. Gazing into her eyes--those serene pools of deep starlight--Armin turned to face his bandmates and murmured something that was indecipherable to the crowd. Moments later, they nodded one by one as an understanding had been reached.

Counting down from five in his head as Connie laid down a beat on the drums, Armin joined in with an unfamiliar riff. The last song they were slated to perform that night was the high-octane "Wreck Yourself." Yet the melody they were playing was happier--nostalgic almost as it was reminiscent of the anthems from Green Day and blink-182. What they were doing was risky since the band had never performed "Summertime" before but something told Armin that this was supposed to be their closer for the night. Normally, bands used the final round as their last chance to show off and flaunt what they had and prove they could keep the crowd going until the very end. And as capable as Killjoy was of doing that, the young frontman decided to change things up; a decision that was supported in full by his bandmates.

Singing the lyrics he had penned so many years ago when he was enduring a fit of depression and needed something to keep him going, Armin reflected on the memories that were laced into the stanzas. Those summer days he had spent as a child running down the beach with his friends--all smiles and carefree because they truly believed they were invincible. Those warm nights they laid in the tall grass staring at the stars with arms outstretched trying to pluck the twinkling jewels from the heavens. The countless Fourth of July's where they baby soft skin got sunburned and they sat huddled together in their sweaters as fireworks exploded in the night sky. 

All the wonder and joy as well of the moments of defeat and brokenness were captured by this one song. That somber morning Jean sat at his mother's hospital bed crying softly as the heart monitor flat-lined. That year when Eren and Levi got into a fight so horrible, they refused to talk to each other until Eren caved when school started in September. The day Armin realized his parents didn't really want anything to do with their kid and weren't coming back for him. The bedside talk he had with Mika that ended with him crying on her shoulder for hours. All of it was there and the blonde had poured his heart into every single word. This was him. This was them and would always be their song. The song of their childhood that looked upon these memories with no shame and exposed them in an honest unflinching light. They may have grown up and none of them knew what the future held. But in this moment--same as when they were kids--they were invincible. In this moment, they were everlasting and Armin couldn't have been more grateful than he was then for having them in his life.

"So let's turn around and runaway from here, anytime we want," he beamed as the last words left his mouth knowing that his message had been conveyed to his four friends in the crowd. This performance wasn't for anyone else; just them. And as the crowd cheered wildly, he shot Mikasa a wink. "We're Killjoy. Thank you!"

Sliding his guitar onto his back as he left, Armin tried not to rush off the stage when the nerves came racing back to the forefront of his mind. Legs giving out, he dropped to his knees. Raking his trembling fingers through his golden hair, he closed both eyes, breathed in then out, and tilted his head up toward the cool air flowing in from the air duct. Not fighting Annie as she removed his guitar from around him, he remained as he was until a familiar voice yelled his name. Eyes snapping open, he only had a moment to react before he was jumped by Mikasa who immediately pressed her lips to his in an adoring kiss. Holding his face in her slender hands, she showered him with affection while praising his performance--saying that they had everyone mesmerized and chanting for more when they exited the stage.

"You did it baby," she beamed as she kissed the singer silly. "You won!"

As the MC called Killjoy back out--naming them the winners--Armin didn't move. Instead he wrapped his arms around Mika's waist and buried his face in the crook of her neck as tears slowly started to stream down his cheeks. They had done it; finally. After years of hard work and dreaming...

"We did it," he smiled.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The drive home was quiet with the music down low. Marco had taken over driving after they had dropped Kat off at her place because Jean had been nursing a bad headache since the close of the show and was going down fast. Turning the cold air on with windows rolled halfway down, he glanced between the road and the blonde before turning onto Zuzu's street. Hugging her goodnight, she kissed Jean's forehead and wished him a good night before hopping out of the backseat. The silence resumed as they pulled out of the driveway and started the half hour drive back to Jean's house.

"Marco..." the blonde murmured.

"Hmm?"

"Sleep over tonight."

Biting his lip to stop himself from smiling, he nodded. "'Kay."

It was half past one in the morning when they pulled up to the white paneled and grey shingled facade of the colonial style house the Kirsteins called home. Helping Jean out of the car, Marco let go of his side when the teen had assured him that he could stand on his own. Quietly padding down the garden walkway, the blonde opened the front door as gently as possible so that it wouldn't wake up Ezra and Jackson. Both men had work in the morning even though they normally had Saturday's off; something about a high profile case with twelve kids involved though Ezra hadn't told his son more than that. As such, both young men did their best to wash up and change without making any noise.

Sliding into bed first after knocking back two maximum strength Excedrin to combat his headache, Jean curled up on the right side of the bed; purposefully facing away from the left. He couldn't face Marco right now. Not after that run-in with Jamie. It had brought back too many sore feelings that were now tap dancing across his nerves; the edges raw and frayed from years of wear and tear. It had reminded him that Marco would never love him the way he loved him. That they would never be together and that it was foolish of Jean to hope for anything more. Holding back the tears building in the wells of his eyes, he could feel the pain resurface. 'Why did it have to be him?' the teen accosted himself. 'Why are you so stupid Jean? Jesus, can't you just fucking let him go already?!' 

Curling up even tighter as the war in his head was waged, he didn't notice Marco as he approached the bed on quiet feet. Taking in the sight of the blonde laying there looking more fragile than he ever had in all the years they had known each other, he felt his heart break. Whatever buried torments their meeting with Jamie had uncovered, they weren't worth the suffering. Marco may not have known much about their history or what their relationship was like--both being tight lipped about it at the bar. He did not understand the intricacies between them or how things ended or why. But none of it mattered in that moment. What mattered was Jean. What mattered was helping him through the pain he was experiencing because Marco knew better than to assume that the headache was the sole cause of his pain.

Laying down beside Jean, Marco finally let go of his fears and decided to be honest with both himself and the blonde. Turning onto his side, he wrapped an arm around Jean's middle as he pulled them together as closely as possible. At first, the blonde tried to escape but stopped struggling when he felt Marco's trembling hands tighten. In that silent moment where time and space lingered in suspense their walls came down and they could just be. Chest heaving out a quivering sigh, crystalline tears fell from Jean's closed eyes as he melted into Marco's touch; an embrace he wanted more than air, more than life. Breaths stilling when he felt the brunette nuzzle into the nape of his neck, his heart nearly broke when the man placed the softest of kisses on his shoulder.

"Jean," Marco spoke, his voice quiet and scratchy from strain.

Swallowing hard, Jean sniffled. "Yeah?"

"I love you."

Silence clung to the air late the humidity on an early evening in late June. Tightening his hold on Marco's arms that were now wound protectively and lovingly around him, the blonde could hear the barriers and walls he had built around himself come crumbling down.

"Jean...?"

"I love you too," he rasped; too afraid to turn around and look at the brunette. "I love you Marco," he admitted past his tears. "I always have. I-I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"I don't know. I just am."

Sitting up, Marco leaned over Jean's shivering form. "Jean," he said softly as he placed a hand beneath the blonde's chin and turned him so that they were looking at one another. Those eyes he loved so much were now pained and filled with tears. "I love you and you have nothing to apologize for."

Quietly and tenderly, he closed the space between them and pressed his lips to Jean's for a kiss he'd been dreaming of for years. Shifting as the blonde gave in and looped both arms around his neck to pull him in even closer, Marco breathed in the warmth, the sweetness, and softness that was this moment. Finally, things were how they should be. Finally, at long last, he had his Jean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This song has always been near and dear to my heart because of how poignant and honest the message is. Moreover, it reflects the openness and timidness both Jean and Marco experience while they try to navigate their relationship--Friends? More than friends? Strangers? It's an open-ended dialogue about love and the fear of falling in love and that feeling not being reciprocated. All the longing, anxiety, morose, and loftiness...it's all here. So here, from me to you, is "John My Beloved" by Sufjan Stevens. 
> 
> *JOHN MY BELOVED*  
> by Sufjan Stevens
> 
> Are we to speak, first day of the week  
> Stumbling words at the bar  
> Beauty blue eyes, my order of fries  
> Long island kindness and wine  
> Beloved of John, I get it all wrong  
> I read you for some kind of poem  
> Covered in lines, the fossils I find  
> Have they no life of their own?
> 
> So can we pretend sweetly  
> Before the mystery ends?  
> I am a man with a heart that offends  
> With its lonely and greedy demands  
> There's only a shadow of me, in a manner of speaking I'm dead
> 
> Such a waste, your beautiful face  
> Stumbling carpet arise  
> Go follow your gem, your white feathered friend  
> Icarus, point to the sun  
> If history speaks of two baby teeth  
> I'm painting the hills blue and red  
> They said beware, Lord hear my prayer  
> I've wasted my throes on your head
> 
> So can we be friends sweetly  
> Before the mystery ends?  
> I love you more than the world can contain  
> In its lonely and ramshackle head  
> There's only a shadow of me, in a manner of speaking I'm dead
> 
> I'm holding my breath  
> My tongue on your chest  
> What can be said of my heart?  
> If history speaks, the kiss on my cheek  
> Where there remains but a mark  
> Beloved my John, so I'll carry on  
> Counting my cards down to one  
> And when I am dead, come visit my bed  
> My fossil is bright in the sun
> 
> So can we contend, peacefully  
> Before my history ends?  
> Jesus I need you, be near me, come shield me  
> From fossils that fall on my head  
> There's only a shadow of me, in a matter of speaking I'm dead


	8. Serendipity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the arrival of Alec looming over them both, Marco and Jean spend the weekend together--starting with Saturday, their first date.

It wasn't the sun spilling in through the window that woke Ezra but the symphony of birds singing in the backyard. Groaning with a slight pinch between his brows as the repercussions from last night caught up with him he rolled onto his stomach to escape the extreme heat radiating from Jackson. The man was a living furnace--could probably survive in Alaska during the winter with on his boxers and a t-shirt if he had too. Skin damp with sweat and hips sore from too many rounds with him riding, the blonde made a mental note to switch things up next time because now it'd take a couple of days to recover from the damage. Though it weren't as if he were complaining much.

"Where're you goin'?" Jackson slurred with a gravelly rasp to his voice as he reached out and hooked his arm around his partners' waist as the man got up. Pulling him back into bed, they both laughed with Jackson burying his face in the soft wavy tresses of Ezra's long golden hair. "Just stay like this for a few more minutes."

"I have to rinse off honey and we have work in an hour."

"I know Ezzy but I want to hold you and be lazy for just a little bit longer."

Chuckling as the man buried his face in his pale stomach that was littered with dozens of hickey's, Ezra leaned down and kissed the top of his crown with one hand combing through the thick tightly wound curls of his black hair. Sometimes Jackson could be such a child. Just five more minutes. One more kiss. One more toss in the sheets. Just another dance before heading to bed. He always wanted more; more love and Ezra. Tilting his partner's head up from where it was hidden, Ezra kissed him long and deep--their tongues mingling while his fingers brushed gently over the smooth dark ebony skin of his jaw. Oh how did he love this man. Adored him with everything in his heart and a bit more.

"We could always shower together," Ezra offered with a roguish smirk and wily glint in his liquid honey eyes.

As much as Jackson wanted to take him up on the offer, he knew better than to fool around before work; especially when their time was limited. Unlike his lover who could be ready for action at the drop of a hat, he preferred to take his time. Gently and teasingly wind Ezra up. Bring him to his breaking point until he was begging for release and then deliver on that promise while giving so much more until they both fell apart at the seams in uncontrollable bliss. So while a quickie in the shower sounded nice, it would only worsen any lingering sexual frustration he had pent up from abstaining during their long work week. Never again would he allow them to go six days without having sex. That nearly killed him especially whenever Ezra bent over the desk to grab files or loosened his tie when the heating came on. 

Staring at Ezra's collarbone as he contemplated the offer one more time, Jackson shook the idea from his head. "I'll get up. You go take your shower and I'll make us some coffee."

"Mmm, 'kay," the blonde smiled happily as he was brought in for a quick kiss to the lips; it becoming something of a habit for them both now. "See you in ten."

"Yeah." Smirking as his lover hopped off the bed, Jackson gave a quick smack to the mans firm ass then gazed up at the wide-eyed blonde with a devilish look in his dark eyes. "Sorry, couldn't help myself."

"You better run now or I'll tie you to that bed Jackson Anthony Mathieu."

"Like I'd mind," he said with a waggle of his brows.

Staring the man down with one immaculate brow arched, Ezra gave his last warning. "Coffee. Now."

Snorting a laugh, the man rolled out of bed, slipped on his boxers, then kissed the blonde on the cheek. "Call me if you need anything."

Watching for a moment as his lover disappeared from the room--the sound of his feet on the wood floor fading as he walked down the hall--Ezra rolled his eyes with a gentle smile. That goof was the sweetest most tender man he had ever had the honor of knowing and how grateful he was that he could call Jackson his. Biting the corner of his bottom lip as he felt that familiar giddiness rush over him, he giggled lightly and shook his head. It was ridiculous how easily he fell back into feeling like a teenager holding hands with their sweetheart for the first time. It had been a year since they started seeing each other yet felt like they'd been together for decades; had known and loved each since they were old enough to know what the words "I love you" meant. Ezra hadn't experienced this in so long. Had nearly died of a broken heart when Jacqueline passed but endured the pain and loneliness because Jean needed him. But now that he had Jackson, his nights weren't so lonely and his days were brighter.

Slipping on his old Harvard raglan sweater with the slightly frayed cuffs and his charcoal grey sweats, Ezra padded down the hall before taking his shower. He knew that Jean had gone out with his friends to Saturn to see Armin's band at the Battle of the Bands competition. He also knew that the kid had probably had a few drinks and, while he wasn't one to chastise his child for experimenting, he did worry and had set a limit years ago as to what was the acceptable number of drinks he could have while out with friends--that number being zero if he was the designated driver. And though he trusted Jean--the kid having given him no reason not to have confidence in him--Ezra was still his father and would always worry; if not about the teen making dumb choices than his friends or the strangers around him.

Quietly and slowly opening the door, the older blonde was about to call his sons' name when the breath was suddenly knocked straight out of him. Laying in bed fast asleep and tightly wound together was Jean and Marco. Tucked beneath the brunette's chin with a dreamy smile painted across his lovely features with an ear and cheek pressed tenderly to his companions chest, it so beautiful and heartbreaking that Ezra didn't even fight the tears that stung at his eyes. Silently wiping them from his face, he stood there for a long moment observing the two. Those knuckleheads had had it bad for each other since junior high before they even understood what they were feeling. Naive and innocent, they had drifted so closely to one another that Marco's departure had nearly destroyed them both from what he had gathered. Having seen the damage done to his son first hand--recalling too clearly how Jean cried at the loss, shouting "I'll hate him for the rest of his fucking life, that traitor!"--the other side of the story Ezra had gotten from Kat. Poor Marco who had no choice in the matter but to go along with his father's wishes had lived under the strict scrutinizing eyes of Alec who monitored the teens emails, calls to the states, and who he hung out with.

Looking at the pair now as they slept--happily hidden in the sheets and fluffy blankets--it were as if neither had suffered; as if the two years leading up to now hadn't happened at all and they had gone from friends to partners in the mere blink of an eye. Though, for Ezra, it was the blink of an eye. It was just yesterday that he had held Jean in his arms for the first time--crying more than Jacqueline when the little monster grabbed his finger and wouldn't let go. It had just been yesterday afternoon that Jean had fallen off his skateboard on his ninth birthday and struggled to keep his tears in as Ezra patched him up. Wasn't it just last night that his son was a starry eyed twelve year old looking up at the strawberry moon in late spring with a broad smile? 

Now, this morning, his son--his beloved only son--was a man with all the beauty his mother had passed on to him. Now his boy was no longer just his. He finally had the person he had wanted, waited, and longed for even through the pain. There was no way that they were just friends; not with the way they were holding each other. Not with the way Marco, even in his sleep, was cradling the back of Jean's head. No, they had crossed that line long ago; longer ago than they would think.

Smile softening with sentimentality as they stirred--Marco pulling Jean closer and the blonde responding with a small groan as he allowed himself to be hugged tighter--Ezra took a steadying breath, sucked in his bottom lip with a bite, and then sighed out. Banishing the last bit of tears from his eyes, he backed out of the bedroom entrance and closed the door. There was no chance on this earth that he was going to spoil their first morning together. Door clicking in place as it shut, the older blonde slumped against the hardwood panel for a moment then brought both hands up to rake back his unruly hair. Gazing up at the ceiling, Ezra smiled with a sniffle as he chuckled quietly.

"Our kid sure has grown, hasn't he Jackie," he mused, wishing that Jacqueline would respond. "I think he'll be okay from here. It just hurts having to let go of him like this. I bet you would've done a better job handling this than I am. You always were the stronger one." Pausing to sigh, he closed his eyes and swallowed down the small pang of sadness that was lingering. "Alright, time to get ready for work."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Warm. That was the first thing Jean felt that morning as he stirred from his sleep; eyes still heavy and dreamy as they struggled to open. Rather than feeling cold as he always did during the winter he felt cozy; as if he had been swathed in layers of quilted blankets and set beside the fireplace. Limbs stretching as they sought out the source, his toes encountered the smooth yet tough soles of another's feet while his fingers stopped after a short trip upwards to rest upon the soft exposed skin covering some strangers neck and collarbone. Curious and wandering, they travelled along the contour of his slumbering bedmate's neck until a familiar indicator had been found. There, hidden in the curved cartilage of their left ear just above the lobe was a raised bump no bigger than a grain of rice. Thumb gently rubbing the mark, Jean did not need to open his eyes to know who was in his bed holding him so tenderly.

He remembered that scar because he was the one who had put it there. Well, not directly but definitely part of the cause. It was during the summer on the Forth of July. Jean and Marco had just turned eleven and were enjoying playing sharks and minnows in the pool with their friends. Right as he called "fish out of water" when he heard the pattering of wet feet on the deck, Marco raced to get back in before he could be tagged. Moving too quickly, he slipped on the damp tiles that bordered the pool and came down hard, his head slamming on the lip before he fell in. Even now, Jean can remember his mother shouting then opening his eyes to see Ezra jumping in to drag the dazed youth out of the pool before he lost consciousness. The scar was what was left from a much nastier surgery that resulted in ten stitches and partial hearing loss in that ear.

Eyes opening, the blonde was greeted by the near supernal image of Marco sleeping soundly mere inches apart from him. Legs tangled together with his arms wrapped around Jean's slim frame, the sight striped his lungs of any and all air leaving him breathless--suspended in this ethereal moment where reality and make-believe blended into one. Carefully and tentatively, he reached up with disbelief clear in his wide amber eyes to trace the lines of Marco's full lips; his fingers lingering over the beauty mark hidden in the left corner where it peeked from. Lungs stilling when he felt the warmth of a gentle sigh move past his fingertips as it escaped from within the brunette, Jean struggled to place this reverie within reality's domain. 

Following the line of his lips up to the delicate slope of his adorable nose, he memorized the pattern of freckles soaked into Marco's skin for the umpteenth time--easily finding the darker ones that created an almost star shaped arrangement. Tracing the path with his finger down from the space between his closed eyes, Jean connected the speckle to the right of his nose to the one below his left eye then to the one beneath his right eye and finally to the fifth the left of his nose. Smiling as he did so, the blonde wasn't even aware of his actions. It were as if he were testing the boundaries of this dream that had disguised itself as an actuality. He could feel his heart flutter and his stomach tumble when Marco stirred in his sleep--arms pulling him closer with no intent of letting go. Unwilling to restrain himself any further, Jean tilted his head back and kissed the chin resting just out of his reach. Kissing it again as the man holding him groaned past newly parted lips, he waited with baited breath as those closed eyes fluttered and flickered open.

Observing one another with a new kind of fondness--Jean counting the flecks of amber lingering in the depths of those pools of warm earthen brown--a smile spread across them both. After years of waiting, fearing the worst, and hoping for the best while preparing for desolation they had survived the confession that had been weighing on both their hearts. Had reached the end of the tunnel with hands clasped together and hearts renewed. Holding Marco's face within his hands, Jean didn't know who to thank for this miracle. Laughing together, they drifted even closer to one another until there wasn't a breath of space separating them. Friends, lovers, soulmates.... Whatever they were Jean was so grateful his heart couldn't contain it. Tears breaking free from their constraints, his smile was even brighter than before as Marco leaned in to kiss his cheeks, nose, then lips.

"Thank God you're real," the brunette said between kisses. "I thought I had gone crazy for a moment there."

A laugh erupted from Jean; his fingers travelling up to comb through his companions thick chestnut hair. "I thought the same thing when I woke up and saw you."

Marco said nothing. Just smiled as he nuzzled into the unruly hair atop Jean's head.

Eyes closing happily as he pressed an ear to the brunette's chest to listen to his heart, the blonde sighed. "Marco...?"

"Yeah?"

"That really happened last night, right?" Peeking up when he felt Marco tilt his head so that they could see each other, Jean bit his bottom lip. "It's safe to say it now, right?"

Closing the space between them, Marco first answered with a soft feather light kiss. "It's safe." Pressing his lips to the blonde's forehead, he murmured, "I love you Jean."

"It's the same for me. I've loved you for so long that I don't know what to do with myself," Jean said with a chuckle as he sniffled back his tears. He didn't know why his first response to those words was to cry; perhaps it was from the long awaited emotional release that came with finally voicing his thoughts. Whatever it was, he wasn't going to fight it. Not when everything felt so right. Curling up against Marco, Jean breathed a sigh of relief before breaking out into a teary burst of laughter. "This is so awesome. I can't tell you how many times I wished for this and it actually happened!"

Smiling because he was just thinking the same, Marco began to laugh too. "I know right. It's pretty fucking crazy right?" Ruffling the blonde hair between the fingers of his left hand, the brunette kissed Jean's forehead. "I'm so happy because I get to keep my best friend and date him."

"Yeah, talk about winning."

Laughing again between kisses and playful pokes to each other's sides, the two tossed in the sheets until they were laying with Marco splayed out on his back with Jean on top--his chin resting atop the brunette's chest. Beaming brightly to one another, they took a long moment to appreciate how beautifully this had turned out. Too often had they each heard horror stories of confessions gone wrong where someone was either harshly rejected, ridiculed, or worse. It was why Jean had grown cold and Marco had nearly given up. Their fears had become so powerful that it had almost eclipsed the burning affection they each carried. But after Levi and Mika's party, Jean and Marco had unknowingly drifted closer and closer--not just as friends but as lovers in waiting. They already behaved like a couple that it was infuriating for their friend group to watch as they tap danced around the elephant hogging up the room. 'Zuzu will be glad to hear that we're together,' Jean thought to himself as he lovingly combed a hand through those luscious waves of chocolate brown that seemed to shimmer in the morning light. 'Everyone will be happy actually since they all knew.'

"So what did we want to do today?" Marco asked, his smooth velvety voice interrupting the blonde's train of thought.

Sly smile pulling at his perfect bowed lips, Jean took a long moment not only to think but to soak in the feeling of Marco's hands on his hips--his thumbs rubbing sweet circles into the dimples on his back. "We could go to the pier. The GLOW festival starts tonight so that would be fun. But uh," he hesitated for a moment as he suddenly remembered the clouds encroaching on their happiness, "isn't Alec coming back soon."

Smile deflating momentarily, the brunette looked up and away for a moment. "He's flying in Monday evening."

"So we have the weekend and most of Monday?"

"Yeah."

Pursing his lips, Jean was silent as he pondered their situation. "Do you wanna hangout?"

"What, tonight?"

"No, for the weekend."

Eyes darting back to meet the blonde's liquid amber gaze, Marco's smile swiftly returned. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"Cool," the blonde smiled back.

"Cool." Chuckling at how ridiculous and horridly sweet the exchange was, Marco rolled his head to the side, looked away then glanced back to the blonde whose loving gaze was fixed on him. "You know, I'm kinda tempted to just stay here with you all day too."

"Mmmm, maybe tomorrow."

"You're in a beach mood aren't you?"

Jean nodded. "Yeah, kinda. Can you tell?"

Marco snorted a laugh. "I can always tell when it comes to you. If that's the case though we better get going. We're burning daylight just sitting around and talking about it."

"True." Pressing his palms into the mattress on either side of Marco's head, Jean leaned down and kissed the brunette with a smile on his lips. Parting, they were both breathless for a moment. "Right, well, I'm gonna go shower. You can use the one down the hall," he said as he hopped off a faintly blushing Marco. "Or," he added with a playfulness to his tone, "you could always shower with me."

"Jean...!" the brunette sputtered at the bold offer.

The blonde only laughed. "It's not like we haven't seen each other naked in the locker room before. Whatever, do what you want."

Watching as Jean disappeared into the en suite bathroom--his eyes lingering a for a little too long on the blonde's perfect backside--Marco flopped back onto the bed then released a long heavy sigh. All that shyness and uncertainty Jean had showed earlier had been blown away by his incredible confidence and natural sex appeal. It didn't help that the brunette had to curb his appetite every single day during practice--both in and out of the water because that guy in a swimsuit was lethal. But now that they were together and could finally touch one another without fearing any loss, his sexual frustration would only get worse. He wanted to do things right. Not rush into something they weren't sure they were ready for yet. But he couldn't help but think of pinning Jean down and stripping him bare when the blonde looked at him like that and spoke words of promise that dripped with his own longing. 

'No, get it together man,' Marco scolded himself as he pictured Jean naked in the shower--soap suds rolling down the curve of his back. 'We're going to do this right which means not thinking with your dick.' They may be teenagers and hung up on one another but he wasn't about to screw things up after he had waited so long to have Jean to himself. 'Slow and steady, Marco. Slow and steady.'

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a shower and grabbing a quick bite to eat, the two left the house ready for a date that had been years in the making. Both independently deciding to just treat it like any other outing but with added benefits, there wasn't any awkwardness as they hopped into Marco's car and headed out. A high pressure system had rolled in from the south pacific making the day much warmer than the usual with the highs being in the eighties at the beaches. Likewise, they had dressed accordingly with Marco wearing a white scoop neck tee, his favorite black joggers with the white stripe down the side of the left leg, a charcoal grey zip-up hoodie and his white Comme des Garcons lowtops while Jean wore his black joggers with a faded white and black sleeved raglan tee with Rebel Rebel written in red in the center, red lowtops, and a merle gray beanie in case it got cool later with his cream, gray, and black flannel tied around his hips. 

Grabbing coffee before hitting the beach, they didn't think twice about holding hands while waiting for their order; Jean leaning comfortably into Marco's chest and shoulder while the brunette wrapped a possessive arm around his partner's waist. Kissing before parting, they picked up their drinks--both ordering iced vanilla latte's--and got back on the road. Missing the morning rush hour by a half hour, it was smooth sailing as the cruised down the coastline. Scrolling through the music on his phone while at a stoplight, Marco smiled when he landed on Jean's song; well, at least it was to him. Tapping the the screen, he turned his attention back to the road--his smile growing when he heard the blonde humming along to the opening. Listening to Jean sing "Amber" by 311 was more than music to his ears. It was something Marco wanted to capture and save for any gloomy days that awaited him later on where he'd be without his partner--his best friend, lover, and partner in crime.

Looking over, Jean's smile turned humorous when he saw how choked up the brunette was getting. Was it the song? Or was it just everything in general? Reaching across the divider, he took Marco's hand in his--resting them atop the man's thigh, his thumb rubbing small circles into the smooth copper surface of his skin. It felt so right--so perfect being like this. So wonderful that he couldn't find any way to argue that they were truly meant to be together. After all these years, the separation, the fighting, and the heartache, they still wound up together; still found a way to let love win even when the odds had been stack so high against them. Lifting Marco's hand to his lips, Jean kissed it then smiled with a small giggle as the brunette gently pinched his nose then took his fair hand and kissed it back. They were perfect for one another and while it was about time they got together, in many ways everything unfolded exactly as it should have. Yes it was about time but, then again, they were right on time.

Arriving at the Santa Monica pier right as the sun was breaking through the marine layer and shedding its glimmering golden light over the surf and sand, Marco reached for his wallet while fighting back Jean who tried to hand the girl at the parking booth his card. Pouting when the redhead smirked as she took the brunette's American Express, the blonde flopped back into his seat with a disgruntled "hmph"; doing his best to keep a straight expression regardless of how cheesy and chivalrous Marco was being. The guy had even slipped out of the drivers side quicker than usual just so that he could open Jean's door with a sickly sweet kiss to his lips. It were as if he knew instinctively that the dancer's weakness was corny shit like that.

Hiding his blush, Jean tried to squirm away when Marco wrapped both arms around his waist, pivoted into a low "Hollywood" style dip with a dashing smile before kissing him deep. Heart unable decide if it wanted to break free from the blonde's chest and fly away or beat a million miles a minute, the excited muscle did both, robbing Jean of both his air and ability to sulk any longer. Bright amber eyes dazed and seeing spots dance through their version, he struggled to come back down from the high as their lips parted and the warmth of Marco's breath wafted over his cheeks.

"Better?" Marco smiled that stupidly perfect smile that could charm even the coldest of hearts.

Swallowing hard, the blonde nodded. "Yeah," he rasped.

"Good. 'Kay, lets get goin'."

Jean only nodded--his mind too fuzzy and full of sugary fluff to do anything else. It was ridiculous how quickly he had been swept off his feet. But how could he resist when he had been waiting for years for this to happen--this perfect dizzying daydream that he prayed would never end. If he could, he'd spend the rest of his life looking through these rose colored glasses that the world was now swimming in. He would spend an eternity this way if possible, them holding hands as they walked along the boardwalk just like every other couple there only stopping to take pictures or look at the sea. 

It was perfect. A moment of pure serendipity as Marco wrapped himself around Jean as they watched the tides change, leaned down, and kissed the three beauty marks on the back of his neck. In the short amount of time since they had woken up that morning the brunette had already done that same action twice before; once while they were lingering in each others arms in bed and again when Jean was changing into his day clothes. Shivers sparked along his spine and sent waves of bliss over his skin, through his arms and legs, and back to his heart where they warmed with every touch and gentle kiss. It may have been new but his body seemed to know the action; remembered the habit before it had even formed. Had Marco kissed him there before without him knowing? Or perhaps was this feeling of deja vu the remnant of a familiar dream he'd had so many times that it were as real as the very moment they were living.

"Whatcha thinking about?" the brunette murmured against the soft fair column of his neck.

Leaning into the touch, Jean closed his eyes with a sigh. "Us...this," he said with a squeeze to the tanned hand intertwined with his. "About how easy this is coming to us. I thought we'd be more awkward than this but it's like--"

"Like we'd been ready for it all this time?" Marco smiled dreamily as he finished the blonde's sentence.

"Yeah. Is that weird?"

Marco shrugged. "I don't know really. It doesn't feel weird to me. I just can't get over the fact that this is really happening."

"Same," Jean chuckled as he dropped his head with a nod. "I mean, I don't think it's weird either; not really anyway. It's just crazy because we spent so much time apart but it changed so little, it's as if...it's like...we..."

"Were meant to be?" The brunette's voice was softer now as he hid his face in the crook of Jean's neck, loving the warmth that radiated from it. Tightening his grip around his partner, Marco took a deep steadying breath in. "Maybe because we were meant to be together. It's scary because everyone'll say we're too young to know what we're talking about but...but you're my person Jean. I know you are and I won't let go of you again. I promise so..." he paused, hands trembling slightly and throat itching from the anxiety, "so just let me love you always, 'kay."

Knowing himself well enough to know he was beyond words at that point, Jean just nodded his head and held onto Marco's arms more tightly. It was overwhelming, this feeling of adoration and elation all tangled up in his chest with the love that had been growing for years since they were too young to know what it really meant. Jean would let Marco love him for however long he wanted because, truth be told, even a lifetime together wasn't enough. His heart knew that but his mind was still trying to catch up with that fact. How could one person make him feel so afraid and excited at the same time? How could anyone get used to this nauseatingly affectionate feeling that came whenever Marco said his name? Jean was already weak in the knees and the day was only starting. Who knew what would happen as the afternoon progressed. With the way things were going, he'd be reduced to a puddle at the hands of this loving brunette that sought to claim his heart with his every word.

"You're going to ruin me Marco Bott," Jean joked with a bite to his bottom lip. "Never stop loving me, okay?"

The brunette nodded, still buried in the comforting welcome of Jean's neck. "I promise," Marco murmured.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

They could have fallen asleep right there on the beach under the hundred foot high installment of glowing jellyfish that had been erected on the cool sands of Santa Monica. After spending the entire day running around the area, hanging out in Venice, and exploring the shops at Abbot Kinney then strolling through the canals while taking sips from each others spiced cider, the two young men were exhausted; so much so that they were tempted to pass out with their heads on each others shoulders while watching the giant sea creatures formed from wire and silk canvas change colors against a backdrop of stars. Yet Jean couldn't ignore the texts from his father much longer as his phone vibrated sporadically in his back pocket.

Rolling his head to the side, Jean's breath caught in his lungs for the briefest of moments when he saw Marco's profile awash with watercolor shades of pink, sea green, sky blue, and yellow. 'Beautiful,' he thought to himself quietly, observing the way the hues changed the tint of his bronzed skin yet weren't strong enough to overshadow the brunette's freckles. God, how he loved those spots that spanned the entirety of his body--from the tips of toes to the crown of his head with higher concentrations in certain areas like his nose and shoulders. How he loved the ruffle of that wild wavy brown hair that Marco would blow away from his glimmering eyes every so often. How Jean adored the small beauty mark hidden in the curve of his lips and was overcome with joy now that he could finally kiss it the way he had always wanted to without fearing rejection. Lifting his hand, the blonde gently poked the mark nestled in the crook of the brunette's mouth; smirking when his companion jumped minutely at the sudden contact.

"What?" Marco chuckled once he had turned his head only to find Jean smiling dreamily at him.

"Nothing. Just felt like poking you."

"Nerd." Thoughts halting when he heard the blonde's phone vibrate again, he sighed though it not being enough to deflate the mood. "We should probably get going."

It was when he heard those words that Jean remembered what he was going to say after he had gotten Marco's attention. "Hey, did you wanna sleep over tonight? We could swing by your place on the way if you wanted to pick up a change of clothes." Throat squeezing a bit when he saw the shift in the brunette's gaze, he fumbled over his words. "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to. I get it if you need some space. Just because we're going out doesn't mean you have to--"

"Jean," Marco interjected with a humored quirk to his tone. Planting a hand on the blonde's right cheek, he closed the space between them--silencing Jean with a soft kiss. "You're doing that thing again where overthink everything."

Swallowing down his nerves with eyes closed, Jean exhaled; loving the way he could feel the other's breath so closely on his lips. "Sorry. I just didn't want to--"

"Jean," the brunette said more firmly.

"Sorry."

Laughing, Marco kissed his forehead. "You don't have to apologize. I'd love to stay over again."

Lips pressed into a fine line, Jean took a chance with his next question. "And what about tomorrow night?" Opening his eyes, he fought to keep himself together under the intense gaze of his partner. "Alec comes back Monday night so we won't get another chance to be like this until he leaves."

"I was thinking the same thing."

"Really?"

Marco nodded as he thumbed the smooth skin beneath Jean's ear. "Yeah. Do you think Ezra would mind?"

"No." It wasn't even a question because the man loved the brunette the way he did his own son.

"Then I'll stay for the weekend."

Jean could only manage a smile because his words had abandoned him in that moment. Whatever he had done to deserve such happiness he was grateful that it had been given to him in this form. Nothing else could top the joy he felt while with Marco. This feeling--this sense of wholeness and elation could never be rivaled; never be bested because the brunette was the only gift he'd ever ask the universe for. Taking the hand offered to him, Jean let Marco help him to his feet. Shaking the sand from his clothes, he smiled even more brightly with a childlike laugh as his partner brushed the grains from his flaxen hair. Looking up, Jean kissed the brunette on the cheek before tangling their hands together and heading toward the car.

Their hands remained joined the entire drive back to Marco's house--fingers woven together tightly to root them in reality except for the occasional separation when Jean had to change gears. Pulling up to the grand Mediterranean style manor hidden away at 5839 Jed Smith Rd in Hidden Hills, the blonde could feel the gentle squeeze of Marco's hand. Together they watched the house from beyond the driveway past the matured trees that framed the front entrance on either side. This palace of a home carried with it a flood of memories--good and bad, new and old. Birthdays celebrated, anniversaries shared, Fourth of July parties and graduations all shared space with the more somber haunts that fell in between. 

Despite it's age, the manor had been remodeled by Alec as a wedding gift to Marco's mother, Marzia to resemble her family home in Lombardy, Italy. Everywhere the brunette looked he saw his mother who had been robbed from him weeks shy of his ninth birthday. Like a ghost, he could still hear her laughter in the garden and her sweet voice wishing him goodnight as he laid his head down to rest. Interlaced with the bittersweetness of her memory were the residual pains leftover from the fights between Marco and Alec. The heated arguments during the months prior to his forced departure to Germany lurked in the dark corners of the living room, kitchen and backyard patio where his father had grown so enraged that he lifted his hand with the intent to strike his defiant son. Breathing out hard through his nose, Marco closed his eyes as if to will the ill memories away. He was so focused on keeping himself together that he hadn't even noticed his trembling hands or the small whine that escaped him when Jean called his name.

"Hey," the blonde said softly as he turned in his seat and placed a hand on his partners cheek. "You alright? Nod once if you can hear me."

Nodding once, Marco opened his eyes with a rough sigh. "Sorry. I'm still not used to being home I guess."

"You sure that's what it is?"

Again, the brunette nodded to buy himself time so that he could collect his thoughts. "Yeah, it's nothing." Unbuckling, he didn't dare look Jean in the eyes because he knew he'd be figured out if he did. "I'll be right out so keep the car running, 'kay."

"'Kay," Jean agreed after the quick peck to his lips. "Tell Ymir I said hi if she's home."

"I will."

Closing the car door, Marco shoved his hands into his jacket pockets as he walked up the long path leading to the front entrance. Fumbling to find his keys under the warm glow of the hanging lamp above him, he nearly jumped out of his skin when the door opened. Gasping sharply then relaxing, he smacked his older sister's shoulder as she stood there laughing at him. Dressed down in her black yoga pants and oversized UCLA t-shirt with her long black-brown hair tossed up into a bun, she poked his cheek with a devious smirk playing across her lips.

"Look what the cat dragged in," Ymir teased as Marco entered and removed his shoes with a little grunt. "Take it you had fun last night. How was the show? Did Armin's group win the competition?"

"Dude, of course they won," Marco smirked with a hint of pride for his friend. "But yeah, it was fun. I'm just swinging by though to pick up a couple changes of clothes then I gotta bounce."

"Oh?" she quirked a brow. "What's the occasion?" Watching as a faint blush dusted the cheeks and ears of her baby brother, the dots connected in Ymir's head. "Noooo," she said, smile more genuine as it grew. "You told him didn't you."

"What are you talking about?" the brunette feigned ignorance as he walked through the living room and headed to the stairs to the second floor.

"Oh don't you play coy with me kiddo. I practically raised you so out with it. You spilled the beans to Jean didn't you."

Groaning as he opened his bedroom door, Marco collapsed onto his bed. "Yes, I told him," the brunette answered, his voice muffled by the fluffy pillows and duvet. Rolling over he threw one of the decorative pillows at Ymir when he saw the ridiculous grin on her face. "Stop it. You're embarrassing me."

"Hey," she laughed, not minding as the cushion bounced off her head. "Why are you being so defensive? You really thought I didn't know? You guys were inseparable when you were kids and even more so now since you came back. I mean, you've stayed over at his place more than you've been here so you're not exactly being discreet."

Frowning though not for long, he sighed with his eyes fixed on the oak ceiling fan. "Sorry, it's just a reflex I guess. I just don't want dad to find out or anything."

"You really think I'd tell him about this and screw you over?"

"No, I know you wouldn't. I'm just nervous."

"What about?"

Flattening his lips as she sat down next to him on the opposite side of the bed, the brunette sorted his thoughts as she combed her slender fingers through his hair.

"I'm afraid of him making me leave again," he finally answered; eyes glassy and voice rough. "I don't want to go back to Germany. I want to stay here with my friends..."

"And with Jean," Ymir finished the sentence.

Marco nodded with a sniffle. "I'm so scared Ymir," he near whined as he rolled onto his side and nudged his head onto her lap. "I love him so much, I don't want to go back and leave him. It hurts just thinking about it."

Smiling the same way their mother used to when they needed comforting, she bent down and kissed the freckled skin of his temple. "It's okay sprout. I won't let him send you away again."

"But dad--"

"If Alec tries anything I'll stop him. He's never won an argument with me so have a little faith. I promise, you aren't going anywhere."

"You mean it?"

"Yeah," Ymir promised with another kiss to his forehead. "You're my little brother. I'd bring hell upon anyone that tries to fuck with you."

Snorting a laugh, Marco looked up at her with an expression as loving and doting as hers. "Thanks Ymir."

"Anytime sprout. I love ya' you know."

"Yeah, I love you too."

"So," she dragged the word out as he sat up, wiped his eyes dry, then got up to grab what he came for. "Is he here?"

"Huh?"

"Jean. Is he waiting for you or did you drive back?"

"Oh, umm, he's outside waiting in the car."

"Ah, I see. Then I won't keep you any longer. He's probably wondering what the hold up is anyway."

"Probably," Marco smirked when he thought about the worried expression the blonde was likely wearing. "He said it back. That he loves me."

"That's great," Ymir chirped as she watched him grab some pants and shirts from the closet.

"It is. It's kinda weird though. I get choked up whenever he says it. Like my stomach knots up and my chest hurts just a little. Does that ever happen with you when Krista says it?"

"Sometimes. It just means you feel very intensely for one another."

"Will it ever go away?"

Ymir shrugged. "Who knows. It hasn't gone away for me and I've been with Kris for years now."

"I hope it never goes away," Marco murmured as if he didn't mean to, his voice barely above a whisper. "I want to feel like this forever."

"You probably will then," she smiled. Head tilting when her brother turned around and returned the smile with one of his own, she took a deep breath in then sighed out as she stood. "Alright, I'll get going. Give Jeany Boy my love and tell him to drive safely. There been a lot of coyotes in the area so be careful not to hit one as you're heading out."

"Right." Pivoting in place, he kissed her cheek as she passed by. "Love you Ymir."

"Love you too Marco. See you on Monday?"

"Yeah, see you on Monday."

"Text me when you get back to his place. I want to know you're safe, alright?"

"Right mom, I'll text you."

Rolling her hazel eyes, Ymir shook her head. "Later sprout."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Sneaking in quietly through the backdoor similar to the way they had snuck in through the front door the night before, Jean and Marco tiptoed through the living room--careful not to wake up Ezra and Jackson, both of whom were happily tangled together and asleep on the couch with the television playing in the background. Pausing, the blonde quietly draped a blanket over them and kissed his father on his head before returning to Marco's side. Once they were safely up the stairs with the door closed, they laughed quietly as they flopped onto the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, Jean hadn't even noticed that their hands had once again found one another and had knitted themselves together. Laughter quieting after a moment the blonde cleared his throat with a hard swallow.

"Hey," he said, an anxious treble peppering his tone. "Did you want to go swimming before bed?"

"I don't have my trunks."

"That's fine."

"Dude, there's no way I'm fitting in yours."

"We can just go in our boxers," Jean stated matter-of-factly. Turning his head to the side, his smile turned into something of a pout when he saw Marco's arched brow. "Oh come on. Please? It'll be fun."

Biting his lip, the brunette rolled his eyes with a groan. "Fine," he sighed. "Do you at least have towels? Last time we went swimming at your place you only had one."

"I had plenty but they were all dirty."

"Yeah, okay sure." Laughing as quietly as he could when Jean smacked his face with the pillow, Marco sat up and shook out his unruly hair. "'Kay, let's go before Ezra wakes up."

Removing all their layers except for their joggers and t-shirts, the two headed back down stairs; Jean smiling a bit more than before when he saw that his old man and his lover were still plastered together and pleasantly asleep--snoring in near unison on the large dark brown leather couch. Opening the back door, they wandered down the path boarder by various tropical plants leading away from the main complex down to the "grotto" where the pool and spa were. Not needing to turn the underwater lights on since it was on a timer, Jean sat down by the shallow end with his back turned to the brunette. Despite having seen one another in their boxers in the locker room dozens of times, there was something different to the way they undressed in front of one another now. Though they were more modest--both with their backs turned to each other--the young men would glance over their shoulders to look at the other every so often.

Glowing amber meeting warm earthen brown, their gazes locked when they had caught each other staring. Fighting the blush that was fast spreading across his fair cheeks, Jean was the first to look away. Pushing his joggers down then stripping off his shirt, he felt more exposed in his tight navy blue boxers than he would have if he were naked. Unable to win against his awkwardness, he quickly jumped into the pool; letting the cool water clear his head. Eyes opening underwater when there was a disruption in the space next to him, the blonde swam to the surface--popping up beside Marco. Looking at each other for a moment, they both began to laugh. It was strange trying to learn the difference between friendship and love and where the two blended together. Just yesterday they were friends. Now they were lovers tied together by the strong bond that had never left them.

Turning onto his back, Marco smiled as Jean dove under and started doing laps back and forth. Even when they weren't practicing the guy was still committed to bettering himself. Reaching down just as the blonde passed beneath him, the brunette caught his partner in his grasp--his smile broadening as Jean fought to free himself from the man's firm grip. Swimming away as Jean surfaced with a splash back at him, Marco floated until his back was pressed against the wall by the waterfall coming down from the wading pool. Breaths heavy and measured as the blonde approached him, his heart nearly flew away from him when their lips connected. Bodies pressed together with Jeans arms hooked around his shoulders, an airy moan escaped the brunette's lungs as the embrace deepened. Cracking his eyes open just enough to see his partners face, Marco almost melted at the look in the man's eyes. It was just as heated and desperate as his expression.

"Marco," Jean whispered against the lips he had fast become addicted to. "Touch me. Please?"

Shivering as the words rang in his ears, Marco bit his lip as the kisses trailed down the column of his throat, to his collarbone. "Fuck," he moaned. "I thought we were just swimming."

"I can stop if you--"

"No," he protested, head rolling forward so that he could capture those perfect pillowy lips. "Don't stop."

Mouths crashing together once again, their greedy hands explored one another; desperate to learn everything that had once been forbidden. Both breathing hard as they treaded water, Marco wrapped an arm around Jean's slim waist and floated them into the shallow end by the beach entry so that they didn't have to worry about sinking. Legs flattening on the slopped walk-in, the brunette was pushed down into the shallowest part of the water with Jean on top of him. Hands groping appreciatively at his fair hips, Marco instinctively rolled his own up into his partner, garnering a long moan from the blonde.

Kissing him hard, Jean didn't care as he lost control; nipping the brunette's earlobe as he rocked against Marco's gentle thrust. "More," he breathed as Marco's hands smoothed over the small of his back and came to rest on the round top of his butt. "It's okay Marco. You can touch me."

Not needing anymore encouragement or green-lighting from his partner, Marco slipped his hands beneath the wet fabric and gave the flesh under it a firm squeeze. He didn't know if they were moving too fast. If this was something couples did after being together for only a day. But there wasn't anything conventional about how they had gotten together or the timeline that led up to that point. They both had been pining for one another; longing and wanting but kept apart by the various agents acting against them. But now that the restraints had been removed and they were free to do as they pleased, nothing could stop them from seeking comfort and reassurance in each other's embrace.

Needy yet confident, they couldn't stay separated for long--their mouths coming together a mere blink after they had parted for air. Not fighting as Jean's hands reached down to tug the front of his boxers down, Marco muffled a long thankful moan with the blonde's mouth as those slender fingers wrapped around his growing length and gave a gentle tug. Following suit, the brunette pushed his lover's boxers down past the swell of his backside so that his member was free. Biting Jean's bottom lip, Marco pressed his forehead into the blonde's shoulder as he took both their cocks in one hand and began stroking them. He loved how greedy Jean became with each twist of his wrist--thrusting upwards with the motion while tangling his fingers in his lovers damp deep brown hair. He loved even more how the blonde moaned his name in between kisses and whimpered the closer they got to their peak. 

Thighs squeezing on either side of the brunette, Jean could barely keep up with the torturous motions of Marco's hand. Melting at the skilled touch of his partner, he was reduced to a boneless wreck as he came with a final stroke to his overly sensitive length. Burying his face in Marco's neck with gritted teeth, Jean's entire body shook as he was pushed through his climax; heart beating faster when the brunette hit his peak moments later. Collapsing onto Marco's chest with the water lapping around them, he smiled past shallow breaths--his ear resting above the man's heart that was beating just as quickly as his. Eyes closing as Marco wrapped his arms around Jean's tired frame, the blonde kissed the freckled patch of skin above his sternum.

"I love you Marco," Jean rasped with a dreamy grin.

Tilting his head up just enough to kiss the wet hair atop Jean's head, Marco relaxed. "I love you too Jean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter was originally supposed to be named Amber after the song by 311. However, I recently heard BTS for the first time and their song "Serendipity" was not only a perfect fit for this installment, but it perfectly describes and illustrates the love, anxiousness, and timid hope Jean and Marco have not only as friends but also as lovers and young inexperienced ones at that that are still learning much about themselves as well as each other. It's a song about wanting to love and be loved in return without fear or restraint even if the rest of society may look down upon them. So here, from me to you, is the English translated "Serendipity" by BTS. Enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> *SERENDIPITY*  
> by BTS
> 
> All of this isn’t just a coincidence  
> Just just my own feeling  
> The whole universe is different from yesterday  
> Just just from your happiness
> 
> When you call me  
> I am your flower  
> Like I’ve been waiting for it  
> We bloomed dazzlingly  
> It is almost like the destiny of the universe  
> It is just how it is  
> U know I know  
> You are me, and I am you
> 
> As much as my heart flutters, I’m just as afraid  
> Fate keeps being envious of us  
> I am just as afraid as you are  
> When you see me  
> When you touch me
> 
> The cosmos moved for us  
> There was nothing slightly out of place  
> Our happiness was expected  
> Cuz you love me  
> And I love you
> 
> You are my penicillium  
> The one who saved me  
> My angel  
> My world  
> I am your calico cat  
> One who came to meet you  
> Love me now  
> Touch me now
> 
> Just let me love you  
> Just let me love you  
> When the universe was first made  
> Everything has been decided  
> Just let me love you
> 
> Let me love  
> Let me love you
> 
> Let me love  
> Let me love you


	9. Vesuvius (Pt.I)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin is paid a surprise visit and given an unexpected opportunity. Meanwhile, Marco unwillingly returns home.
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> FAIR WARNING!: F/M action ahead so be ready for it. Yeah, I know this fic is primarily M/M but hey, it's part of the story my loves so I hope you dig it regardless. It's also my first time writing a F/M sex scene so please don't judge to harshly.

The sun had barely broken over the horizon with a cold breeze ushering in the morning. Muslin curtains danced lackadasically in the air, two lonesome mourning doves chirped in the near distance, and squirrels scampered over the shingles on the over--their tiny claws scrambling for purchase when they came to an abrupt halt by the dormer window, squeaked at one another, then bolted off down the overgrown rose bush clinging to the siding. 

Inside the second floor room--lying just beyond the curtains--Mikasa was wide awake. She had been awake for some time now. Had she been at home, she would have just gently fallen back asleep without a care in the world. However, whenever Mika stayed the night at Armin's, her body instinctively stirred itself from its slumber every morning just as the sun was coming up. It was strange but hardly something she would complain about. This was her favorite time of day because it was when the world was at its truest--completely naked and stripped of its facade. Everything was in its purest form in the morning and this included people.

Watching Armin as she laid curled up on her side, her eyes followed the slope of his delicate nose, the line of his lips--noting the beauty mark on the left curve of his upper lip. She admired his long dark lashes that contrasted his sun-kissed skin and unruly flowing golden hair that framed his heart shaped face like a halo of light. With baited breath Mika softly reached up to the pillow where his hand was resting and took it in hers; her fingers opening up his so that she could skim the surface of his palm and feel the callouses on his fingertips. She loved everything about him; cherished and adored him so wholly and completely.

This was her sunshine. She couldn't remember when he had shifted from being her best friend to the center of her universe. Time always seemed to blur together; the memories of them together swirling and contorting in shape like pastel ink on the surface of rippling water. Armin had always been there. He was there before she and Levi were born--not for long but just enough that he was crawling before her and talking before she could sound out words. Mikasa could still remember the day she first became aware of him as a person. It wasn't that she hadn't already set him apart from her and her twin brother. Just that she hadn't really thought of Armin as his own person with his own interests until they were in the second grade and she heard him practicing the violin in the music room at their elementary school.

Mikasa could never create something as beautiful as the melodies that sprouted from his hands; the same hand she was holding as if it were a dream she was dearly holding on to. She could never make something as hypnotising and beautiful as the songs he penned in the sixth grade during math class because he already knew what the instructor was discussing and was bored to tears. Why Armin had stayed behind with them instead of skipping a grade level was beyond her. There were so many opportunities for him to sail ahead of her, Levi, and Eren--so many chances for him to go to some of the most prestigious magnet schools in the country. And yet he declined, everytime.

Every time an offer was given or a letter arrived in the mail, Armin would hide it from his parents because he refused to leave. She couldn't understand what made them so special to him, herself included despite the numerous times the blonde had explained things to her. Didn't understand why he'd stay so close to someone as average as she was and yet he did. Armin never strayed too far from his friends. Always stayed within an earshot in case he was needed. Him, the scrawniest of them all, would come to her rescue whenever the girls in class talked down to her or when the boys in gym class would pull on her hair or call her a dyke. And until their freshman year of high school when he hit his growth spurt and finally started gaining muscle mass, the altercations between Armin and Mika's tormentors would always end the same--him smiling shyly as she patched him up after stepping in to help him bang them up. 

It had to have happened sometime around then--during their freshman year. The transition from friendship to love had to have happened then. Or perhaps it had slowly grown from childhood. Maybe she had always loved him and hadn't realized it until they were older. Looking at him with a smile pulling gently at the corners of her lips, Mikasa could see his past overlapping his present. Could see the Armin who refused to cry when his parents left him on his grandfather's doorstep folding over the beautiful slumbering young man he had grown to be. All those days--distant and near--they all came together to make him who he was and who he would be. 

Smiling brighter when his brows pinched together as the tips of her fingers brushed the petal soft skin of his lips, Mikasa leaned in placing a kiss on the corner of his lips. Scooting closer the more he reacted to her touch, she clung to his warm form as if she were holding onto the moon. Moments like these were her favorite and were always the ones she reflected upon when she felt down. These moments that seemed to be gilded in golden sunshine and fluttering notes of rose. The arresting beauty and serendipity that came from lying in bed with one's beloved. Mikasa never knew she would know such happiness so early in her life. She had always believed that relationships near the start of one's life were always doomed to fail--that your person could only be found after trudging through the muck others created.

Yet there she was, in bed with the only man she ever felt she could love. Suddenly alight and overcome with joy and a deep sense of thankfulness, Mikasa drew in as closely as she could--resting in the crook of his side with her head on his shoulder and hand placed above his heart which strummed steadily beneath her palm. She remembered how choked up she was the morning after they had made love for the first time. It had been so awkward seeing each other naked and how she had hit her head on the headboard of her bed while he had nearly fallen off the bed while reaching for the condom in the bedside drawer. But the following morning she had awoken to an Armin she had never seen before. He was the same person he had been the night before or even a week ago and yet the blonde was vastly different because, at that very moment in time, he was all hers and she was all his. 

The feeling would creep back up on Mika from time to time like when he was practicing with the band yet it felt like he was performing just for her or when she was on stage singing her heart out and he was there smiling from behind the piano. She could understand why their friends said that they were nauseating at times because of how sweet they were on each other. This sugary syrup daydream she was caught in had swept her away like a tide carrying the unwitting drifters out to sea. She hadn't noticed how wrapped up she'd become in Armin until it was too late. There was nothing that could be done now because she was so hopelessly in love. 

"You're up early again," Armin murmured as her fingers played across his chest; his raspy voice thick with sleep.

Shifting in place, she kissed his jaw sweetly while cupping the other side with her slender hand. "I'm always up early when I sleep over."

"Is something wrong?"

"No. Everything's perfect."

Eyes fighting to stay open, Armin focused on Mika; his smile growing brighter when he saw her smiling back at him. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Oh really?"

"Uh huh."

"Nuh uh. What are you smiling for? Is my hair a mess again?" he asked while lifting a hand to pat down his crown of untamed bedhead.

Laughing to herself, Mikasa scrambled to lay on top of him--kissing his forehead, eyes, nose, cheek, and lips. "I love you Armin."

Expression softening at her words, his arms fell to encircle her slim form with one hand on the small of her back and the other resting between her shoulders. "I love you too Mika."

"Really?"

"Really really. Cross my heart."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah," he beamed back with a playful spark in his eyes.

Space closing between them as their lips came together, he could feel her laughter as the alarm on his phone went off. Kissing to " _Love Will Tear Us Apart_ " by Joy Division, Armin took in a sudden gasp of breath as Mika bit his ear and tangled her fingers in his hair. She always loved playing with his hair whether it be while he was studying and she sat behind him braiding it or after a few romps and she wanted to be the big spoon with him in her arms. He had no problem surrendering to her like this; found it quite enjoyable to have someone else do the work part of the time. Biting his bottom lip to hold back a thankful moan when she rolled her hips into his, Armin reached forward and brought her lips to his before flipping them over.

Smiling like mad with her legs wrapped around his waist, Mikasa lifted her arms so that Armin could take off the Unknown Pleasures t-shirt she had borrowed from him before returning the favor and yanking his Ramones raglan up and over his head. Melding together with his hands carding through her hair and hers memorizing every inch of his body, they ground together--falling apart at the seams as she worked hickies into the skin of his neck and shoulder while he groped firmly at her hips and ass. 

Separating just enough to untie the drawstring of his sleeping pants, Mika shot a glance to the door to make sure it was locked. A couple weeks ago Armin's grandfather had almost walked in on his grandson going down on her but luckily the blonde was fast enough to shoot up and cover her while pretending to be asleep. Since then they made sure to lock the door before knocking out just in case they wanted to fool around in the morning. Biting back a moan as Armin trailed kisses down her throat and collarbone, her breath caught when he gave her nipple a playful flick of the tongue before biting it. Back arching and heart racing, she was a mess in his hands as he unwound her. She loved how he just intuitively knew how to bring her walls crumbling down and where to touch as well as how to touch her. She loved how he always took a moment to kiss the small star shaped birthmark just below her left breast and tickled her sides to lighten the mood because he understood that too much intensity could overwhelm her.

Unable to stop herself from moaning his name as Armin slid his hands up her thighs and into the dark green and blue boxers she had also borrowed from him while kissing and licking the skin below her navel, Mikasa then reached to open the drawer of the nightstand next to the bed. Grabbing a condom and the lube as he moved up to reclaim her lips, she gasp when his right hand moved--this time slipping in from the top and touching her sensitive heat. She struggled to keep a clear head as he played with her clit and teased a finger at her entrance. Reaching between them to palm at his firming length, Mika bit and sucked at Armin's neck loving the sounds it illicited from him. He was always at his most insatiable in the morning which was why she loved morning sex. It was always a new adventure whenever they did this in the early hours of the day because they were so much freer and energetic.

"A-Armin...!" she gasped as a finger slipped inside her, Mika's head fell back onto the pillows and the nails of her free hand dug into golden skin of his shoulder blades. "Oh my God. O-Oh my G-God, Armin!"

Smirking as he descended down her chest, his kisses left a burning trail along her flush alabaster skin. "Mmm, keep calling for me like that Mika," he encouraged sweetly though with a hint of mischief. Gently spreading her legs with one looped over his shoulders, he kissed the inside of her leg. "Remember to breathe babe."

Eyes snapping open followed by a long powerful moan that she muffled with the back of her arm, her body quaked as he tasted her while gently working her open. Thighs trembling and lungs straining for air, she rocked her hips into the thrusts as he added another finger followed swiftly by a third. With one hand knotting tightly into the sheets and the other planted between his shoulders, Mikasa was losing all sense of coherence. She couldn't hold on for long. Not with the way his tongue was teasing her or how his free hand danced along the sensitive column of her spine. It was after the second time that he brought her to the brink of climax that she pushed him back and nearly commanded him to take her.

Laughing, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, kissed her on the nose, and grabbed the condom and lube she had set aside for him. Pushing Armin's pants down, a lopsided grin curled her lips when she saw that he wasn't wearing any boxers underneath. It was so like him to do even though she told him it was better to wear underwear when he slept. But in the end Armin was Armin and he'd do what he wanted. Collecting him back into her arms when he was ready to go, Mikasa kissed him long and deep as he pushed inside her. Air hitching in her throat as he buried himself all the way to the hilt, she nuzzled against his cheek while he smoothed the hair away from her forehead and kissed her brow.

"You okay?" he asked, his breath tickling the shell of her ear. 

Armin always checked to see how she was feeling before he did anything because he was big enough that it had caused issues in the past when neither of them knew what they were doing or understood the concept of foreplay. Somewhat older yet much wiser now, they waited until they were both fully adjusted to the feeling before moving. It was only when she nodded, looked up, and kissed him that Armin began to gently rock them into a steady rhythm.

In the beginning when they had first started having sex they were both clumsy and he would either come to soon or she would ask he to pull out half way through because she would tense up. However, after years of practice, they had become naturals--knowing exactly how to touch one another and how to move. Mika knew Armin loved it when she circled her hips up and that his weakest points were his ears and the dimples at the base of his spine which made him moan whenever she played with them. Likewise, Armin knew it drove Mika wild when he would loop one of her legs over his shoulder and go without mercy while playing with her chest. He knew how to kiss her breathless and exactly what to say whenever her closet freak came out and she started talking dirty to him. However today she was more tame than usual. Still fiery and unafraid to take the lead when he gave her an inch which was why he only chuckled when she flipped them over and rode him with that challenging gleam in her dazzling eyes of starlight.

"Mika," he breathed while combing a hand through her hair as his other rested on her hip for balance. "Hun, I'm close."

"Me too," she whispered against his lips as he continued to hit that spot deep inside. Hips bucking forward as he reached between them to touch her, she closed her eyes to the overwhelming pleasure. "A-Armin. Oh my God, Armin I'm g-going to cum."

"Do it. Let me see you cum."

Back bowing with one last thrust upwards, she fell apart in his arms; her body clenching tightly around him as he chased his end. Moments later, Armin came undone with her name tumbling off his lips. Collapsing back onto the heap of pillows, they were a mess of sweat and uneven breaths. Bodies flushed and tangled together, he gingerly pulled out and disposed of the condom before returning to her arms. Despite not being particularly fond of lying in sweaty sheets and blankets, Armin couldn't refuse Mika when she asked to cuddle. Apart from the sex itself, cuddling afterwards was one of her favorite things to do with him. Kissing the bare skin of his chest just above his heart, she could have fallen back asleep had he let her.

"Oh yeah," he rasped with wry smile, "I almost forgot. Good morning."

Mikasa snorted a laugh. "Good morning." Humming her appreciation as the knuckles of his left hand trailed up and down the length of her spine, she nestled in with a look of total satisfaction. "It's always a good morning with you."

"Right back at ya'."

It was as they laid there basking in the afterglow that there came a knock at the front door. Head lifting up with a look of perplexity, Armin glanced to Mika then back to the direction the sound was coming from. His grandfather never forgot his keys so there wouldn't be any reason for the man to be knocking if he had gone out. Moreover it was a Sunday and they never got visitors on Sundays. The only people that came over on the weekends was Eren, Jean, Levi, and his bandmates. And whenever they dropped in they used the spare key in the planter and could jumpscare Armin in his bed which was yet another reason why he locked his door. Sitting up when an unfamiliar voice called his name, the blonde quickly padded over to the en suite bathroom, cleaned himself up, then returned to the bedroom to slip on his black joggers that were tossed over his desk chair. Tugging on a random clean t-shirt, Armin kissed Mika on the forehead and told her to stay there. He knew she probably wouldn't listen but there wasn't any harm in trying.

Pulling his hair back into a loose bun because he didn't have time to do much else with it, Armin checked his neck in the hallway mirror briefly to see if there were any visible hickies. Thankfully, Mika had kept them below the collar this time though there were faint pink lines near the slope of his shoulders from her nails. Deciding he didn't much care considering whoever was at the door was rude enough to pay them a visit without calling first, he approached the front door with a long sigh. Grabbing the knob, he turned it and through it open with an arched brow speaking volumes of his annoyance. On the opposite side of the entrance was a tall dark haired man in what had to have been a ten-thousand dollar suit with an even more expensive watch on his wrist.

"Hello, can I help you?" Armin asked with little interest and more caution when the man smiled back at him.

"Are you Armin Arlert?" he inquired while removing his dark designer sunglasses--revealing the eyes so green they rivaled Eren's.

Armin shifted his weight uncomfortably from one leg to the other. "And what if I am?"

The man extended his hand. "I'm Gregor Shaw. I saw your performance at the Saturn for the battle of the bands."

"Nice to meet you I guess," the blonde said as they shook hands, he suddenly becoming self-conscious and wanting to shrink away from the conversation.

Noticing how uncomfortable the young man was, the brunette chuckled. "I'm a music producer with Universal Music Group and I was hoping to speak with you about possibly signing with the company."

"Wait, what? Why?"

"Because I love your sound."

"Y-You...you love...? Wait, seriously?"

Gregor could only smirk. "Maybe we should go inside and talk this out." Freezing when he saw Mikasa appear behind Armin--her wearing his Joy Division shirt and boxers, he conceded and instead removed a business card from his silver card holder. "Here," he said kindly while handing it to Armin. "My cell number is on there. Give me a call when it's a better time for you and we can sit down with your group to discuss a possible deal."

"Right."

"Then, good morning and have a pleasant Sunday."

Watching as the man got back into his dark blue Mercedes and backed out of the driveway, Armin closed the door and almost had the wind knocked out of him when he collapsed against it--his back smacking it hard as he did. Sliding down to the ground with the card in his hands, Mikasa was quick to rush to his side. Bracing him with her hands on his shoulders, she couldn't tell if he was smiling from the anxiety or because he was genuinely happy.

"Hey, baby what happened?"

Lifting his head, he smiled as if he were losing his mind and hadn't a care about it. "I think we just got scouted."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ezra tried to restrain himself from entering Jean's room as the alarm clock rang, blasting the theme for Mortal Kombat for everyone within an earshot to hear. He had made it his policy not to interfere with his son's routine too much when he started high school because he understood and respected the kids particular brand of OCD and that he had a specific way of doing nearly everything and the way he woke up was one of them. It wasn't too long ago that Jean had come close to sending his old man to the hospital when he--in a sleep induced haze--picked up and threw one of his steel toe Doc Martins at the door when Ezra opened it after shouting at him to wake up from the other side. So there he stood, hesitant and conflicted if it was worth the risk waking him up. Thankfully the kid wasn't alone.

Taking a step back as he heard Jean shout a slurred "shit!" as he, yet again, fell out of bed--likely taking the sheets with him--Ezra flattened against the wall as the door swung open and the blonde came racing through like a bat out of hell. Both he and Marco had overslept by twenty minutes and now they'd be late to morning practice. However, when Ezra glanced over to the brunette who was slipping his shirt on with a sheepish blush, he decided to keep the "I tried to warn you's" to himself. This was the first real relationship his son had been in since that tool Jamie had broken up with him and it was with the boy he'd been in love with for years so Ezra kept his comments on silent; chuckling with a hardly restrained smile when Marco toed past him with a hand on his neck as if it could hide all the hickies Jean had left on him.

' _Was I ever that young and wild?_ ' Ezra pondered quietly.

Wandering downstairs where Jackson was making breakfast in the kitchen, Ezra leaned over the marble bar countertop with his arms folded beneath him and a dreamy smile painting his face. Biting his bottom lip as he listened to his man speak in fluent French to his grandparents who were currently living in Neuilly-Sur-Seine, he watched him chop the mixed veggies for their omelettes then move to the other counter to finish pressing the freshly squeezed orange juice he was making with the citrus from the backyard.

"Bon matin mon cher," Jackson said quietly with a kiss to the blondes forehead when he turned around to find Ezra staring from his perch. "Are the boys up?"

He nodded with a smile. "Just don't say anything about the handiwork they left on each other. Marco's already embarrassed."

"They should learn to be more discreet."

"You weren't discreet in the least when we first started dating," Ezra teased with a sly arch of his brow.

Jackson just clicked his tongue then spun around when his grandmother asked who he was talking to. Both his grandparents, parents, and sisters and brothers knew Ezra and had already accepted them into their family as one of their own--a rather radical thing for a well-to-do French family to do; especially one as influential as theirs. But Jackson was the eldest of the Mathieu children and had been the golden boy that his parents had desired so they saw no reason in falting him for deciding to take a man as his partner. So long as they were happy and didn't cause a massive scandal like Jackson's cousin Marc then all was well.

Pushing away from bar as his partner ended the call, Ezra wrapped his arms around Jackson's waist and kissed from his shoulder all the way to the sensitive skin behind his ear. Nuzzling his nose against the crook of Jackson's neck, the blonde eased into the motions as his partner moved from side to side, grabbing various ingredients to finish making their morning meal. Staring at his long gorgeous fingers as he expertly sliced through a grilled pepper, Ezra's eyes zoned in on his bare ring finger on his left hand; a part of him wondering what it would look like with a silver band on it. But before he could fall any deeper into thought, Jean came barreling down the stairs the way he did every school morning with Marco hot on his heels tugging on his own jacket.

Giving his son a quick kiss on the forehead, Ezra took a step back with nostalgia sparking deep within his honeyed eyes. "I can't believe you'll be graduating in a few months," he smiled with a hint of sadness in the expression. "Where did all the time go? I mean you're taller than me now."

"Just barely dad."

Ezra scoffed, trying to hide the tears he was holding back with a laugh. "Anyway, you should head out or you'll be even later for practice."

"Yeah," Jean agreed, returning the kiss to his forehead with one to his father's. It was another one of their little rituals; something that had carried over from his childhood. "You going to be home for dinner tonight or are you guys working late?"

"No we'll be home. Any requests?"

"Nah. Surprise me."

"Right." Looking over Jean's shoulder at his boyfriend, Ezra added, "And what about you Marco? Any requests?"

"Not tonight."

"Oh. You aren't staying for dinner?"

It was frightening how swiftly the joy fled the young mans face. "Sorry but I have to stay home tonight."

Looking between him, Jean, and then Jackson whose somber expression left a mark upon them even after he had turned back to what he was doing, Ezra was suddenly and painfully reminded of Alec's return. They hadn't spoken about it--none of them--all weekend. It was a black spot--a harbinger of discord and gloom that grew as Sunday came to a close and the dawn crept along the horizon that morning as Monday rolled around. Ezra had never liked Alec. Even when the boys were younger and knew nothing about their sexuality, he still hated the way the man encouraged his son to do "manly" sports while scolding him for doing anything remotely feminine. 

It was a toxic environment and, had there been any evidence of abuse, Ezra would have filed a suit against Alec. But Marco was almost eighteen and his father was only going to be in town for the month of December. He'd be gone when the new year came so it was just a waiting game at this point. Yet somehow something felt different; like the air had shifted and the clouds were stirring with some unforeseen storm. Walking past Jean, Ezra reached out and collected Marco into his arms who looked like he was about to be sick. He could feel the tension in his stiff shoulders and stance. He could hear the tremble in his breathing and sense the fear in the beating of his fragile heart. This poor boy who deserved so much better had to welcome home a monster.

"Remember that you always have a home here Marco," Ezra spoke with all the tenderness of a mother as he held the young man close the way he did his own child. "If you feel that you are in danger or if he says something remotely abusive, you come here immediately. I won't let him hurt you, understand? This is your home too."

Pressing his lips into a tight line while his hands tightened around the fabric of Ezra's sleeping shirt, Marco nodded as he hugged the man. "Thank you."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

The creeping sense of nausea heightened by their collective anxiety seeped into Ymir and Marco as they sat on the rec room couch watching Jeopardy! on the large flatscreen tv that had been mounted over the cabinet full of movies, vinyl records, and the housing unit for the surround sound system. Neither of them were really paying much attention to what was going on or which contestant was winning. Rather they were struggling to keep their dinner in their stomachs. Ymir had taken Marco out for food that evening hoping that it would calm them both down and, for a while, it worked. Laughing as they ate ramen and caught up on what was happening in each others lives, they felt as if nothing could hurt them or bring them down. In that moment, they felt like a normal family. But it all came tumbling down when she received Alec's text telling her that his plane would be landing soon.

Glancing to her brother, she could feel her heart breaking. They were both gay and their father knew it yet he gave Ymir less flak for her orientation than he did Marco. Part of the problem was that their father was a traditionalist and expected his son to get married, have children, and continue the family name. Because she was a woman, she didn't have the same kind of pressure placed on her shoulders despite being born first. That wasn't to say that Alec didn't mutter slurs under his breath when he thought she wasn't listening or that he didn't dish out backhanded comments that insinuated more than what he was saying. His harassment was more subtle with Ymir. However Marco received the full brunt of his displeasure. There were times when they'd get into screaming matches and their father would raise his hand as if he were about to strike him. But it was his words that hurt more than any suggestion of physical harm could.

Them both going rigid as the deadbolt in the front door turned and the knob rattled, Marco let out a shuddering breath when Ymir grabbed his hand then leaned in to rest her head on his shoulder. No matter what happened, he'd always have her. Because she was Alec's favorite, Ymir could run interference for Marco and keep him out of trouble. She'd been doing just that since they were kids; more so after that one fateful day when he had accidentally let it slip that he thought Jean was cute.

"So you're in here," Alec said flatly as he rounded the corner into the rec room; his presence so strong they could feel him looming behind them.

Ymir was the first to respond as she put on a beautiful yet fake smile. "Hey dad, welcome back. We were just taking a break from studying."

Arching a brow, he glanced from the screen to the back of Marco's head. "So long as you aren't wasting your time with video games. Have you taken your winter midterms yet, Marco?"

He had to swallow back his nerves before turning around. "Yeah, and I passed."

"Passed? What does that mean? What were your grades?"

"Four A's and two B's."

"It's just been rough adjusting back to how things are here," Ymir interjected when she saw the expression overtaking Alec's face. "Don't worry though. He's been studying with me every night and going to school every morning before swim practice starts so it's alright dad, he's still on track."

"Really?" he asked Marco. When the brunette nodded, Alec just sighed through his nose. "Fine. I'm tired from the flight so I'll be turning in early. Don't stay up too late and remember to get to head to school early, both of you."

"'Kay, night dad," she said as he bent down to kiss her cheek.

"Night," Marco answered when his father's hand rested briefly on his shoulder as the man kissed the top of his head.

<\-----------><\----------->

Wide awake with his eyes fixed on the ceiling as the light from the moroccan hanging lamps fastened to the sloped walls above him painted the room shades of warm gold, dark apple green, ruby, and sapphire blue, Marco breathed in with the breeze that tumbled in through the window--its gentle licking pricking the surface of his skin and making the fine hairs on his arms stand up on end. Playing low over the small portable speaker that was Iron & Wines "Jezebel," its melancholy melody somehow strengthening the loneliness he felt in that moment making the warmth from that morning seem even more far away than it did that afternoon or even hours ago when Alec had stepped through the door.

It'd be a month before he could be with Jean. They would still see each other at school and for practice and competitions but it wasn't safe to be too close when Alec was there. He had sent him to Germany when he suspected Jean of "turning his son gay" and likely wouldn't hesitate to do it again. So they'd have to suffer through the separation; keep their time limited to school where they'd hide away under the bleachers and steal kisses between sighs because how could just a few hours ever be enough.

He could feel his heart cracking already. Could feel the sadness trickling through the more he thought about their situation. ' _Why can't we ever catch a break?_ ' he asked silently while raking in an unsteady breath. It wasn't fair. None of it was. Marco had been patient. Had done all that was asked of him so that he could return to the states and finish his studies uninterrupted. Moreover he had been waiting so long for the day he could finally hold Jean's hand without fear and tell him how much he loved him. Had waited six years to kiss his childhood crush and tell them that they were the only person for him. Laying down on his side, a solitary tear escaped him as the ghost of Jean leapt forth from his memory and manifested on the bed beside him; their eyes drinking in the sight of one another. Marco wanted to reach out and touch him. To hold him close and smell the soft scent of his shampoo in that silky blonde hair and feel his heart beating in time with his. He wanted so much and more yet could never have it. Nit while living under Alec's roof he couldn't.

Sitting up when his phone began to vibrate on the nightstand behind him, Marco's heart fluttered when he saw Jean's caller ID on the screen. Them smiling together on the beach at night--their faces painted deep dreamy blue, purple, and green by the jellyfish art installation they saw at GLOW. Laughing because, even when they were separated by miles, Jean still managed to be there when he was at his weakest, Marco dried his eyes and answered.

"Hey," he spoke, sniffling despite his efforts to had how despondent he felt.

"Hey. How you hanging in there?"

Marco shrugged. "Fine."

Jean wasn't buying it. Not for a single moment which was why he hung up abruptly only to call back using the facetime feature. He had to see Marco in that moment; knew he'd be kicking himself in the ass later if he didn't make sure he had done everything possible to comfort his sullen partner. When Marco answered the facetime and propped his phone up against a pillow so that they could see one another, Jean could tell from a glance that the brunette had been crying. Not only was it evident in his voice but his eyes were glassy and lacked the same joy they normally possessed.

"Marco," Jean breathed softly, his expression falling as the brunette wiped the tears from his cheeks. "You should have called me sooner."

"Sorry but Alec hadn't gone to sleep yet and I was worried he'd hear me."

It broke his heart hearing Marco say such things. No one should have to live the way he was living. "I'm sorry babe. I could drive over if you want and sneak in through the window."

The brunette snorted a laugh. "Yeah, like that'd be a good idea."

"What? You don't think I could take 'im?"

"Oh my God, Jean stop."

"Never. Not until I've asserted my dominance over him and usurped the throne."

Holding back a fit of laughter, Marco buried his face in the small navy blue throw pillow he'd been holding. "You did not."

"Oh I did and I totally will if he tries anything funny business. I'll go Jackie Chan on his ass. I swear to it!"

"Jean..."

"Huh?"

"I love you," Marco smiled; he absentmindedly reaching out to the screen as if he could touch Jean through the phone.

Expression softening, the blonde pressed his own fingers against his screen. "I love you Marco. I promise, this isn't forever okay. I know it sucks right now and it's going to feel like an eternity but we'll be alright. It's only a month and then he's gone."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Please don't be like that. We can still see each other at school and he has nothing against you hanging out with Mikasa and Levi because he still thinks Levi's straight so we can hang out at their place." Biting his lip when Marco's face began to crumple again, Jean felt his heart break because as much as he wanted to reach out and hold him close he couldn't. "I'm sorry Marco. It's horrible and completely unfair and if I could I would steal you from there right now. But we'll be fine. We'll make it out of this together."

"Promise?" Marco looked up, a silent plea in his deep earthen gaze.

"I promise. Remember what Ezra told you, _this_ is you home too. You will always have a place here with us and he can never take that away from you. I promise you Marco."

Too choked up to speak, he just nodded quietly for a moment. "I really do love you Jean. I mean it. Even if he sends me away again, it'll only ever be you."

"Hey, you aren't going anywhere."

"He could--"

"No he can't. Ezra and Jackson won't let him pull that shit again. Trust me, my dad is working on something right now but we have to be patient. 'Kay?" When Marco nodded, Jean allowed himself a small smile. "Good."

Opening his mouth to speak, Marco paused when he heard movement in the hallway. "Sorry but I have to go."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow at the usual time, right?"

Marco nodded. "Yeah. Night."

"Wait." Jean smirked adoringly when Marco stared back at him curiously. "I love you like crazy."

Smiling just a little, Marco leaned forward and kissed the screen. "Love you more," he whispered. "Night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is where things start getting more real with Alec's character being introduced as the first arc reaches it's last couple of chapters. And just like Mount Vesuvius, his arrival marks a pivotal turning point. So, to match the mood of this and the the next chapter, I have drawn inspiration from one of my favorite musicians. Here, from me to you, is "Vesuvius" by Sufjan Stevens.
> 
> * _VESUVIUS_ *  
> by Sufjan Stevens
> 
> Vesuvius  
> I am here  
> You are that all I have  
> Fire of fire  
> I'm insecure  
> For it is all  
> Been made to plan  
> Though I know  
> I will fail  
> I cannot  
> Be made to laugh  
> For in life  
> As in death  
> I'd rather be burned  
> Than be living in debt
> 
> Vesuvius  
> Are you a ghost  
> Or the symbols of light  
> Or a fantasy host?  
> In your breast  
> I carry the form  
> The heart of the Earth  
> And the weapons of warmth
> 
> Vesuvius  
> The tragic oath  
> For you have destroyed  
> With the elegant smoke  
> Oracle, I've fallen at last  
> But they were the feast  
> Of a permanent blast
> 
> Vesuvius  
> Oh, be kind  
> It hasn't occurred  
> No it hasn't been said  
> Sufjan, follow the path  
> It leads to an article of imminent death
> 
> Sufjan, follow your heart  
> Follow the flame  
> Or fall on the floor  
> Sufjan, the panic inside  
> The murdering ghost  
> That you cannot ignore
> 
> Vesuvius  
> Fire of fire  
> Follow me now  
> As I favor the host
> 
> Vesuvius  
> Fire of fire  
> Follow me now  
> As I favor the ghost
> 
> Vesuvius  
> Fire of fire  
> Follow me now  
> As I favor the host
> 
> Vesuvius  
> Fire of fire  
> Follow me now  
> As I favor the ghost
> 
> Vesuvius  
> Fire of fire  
> Follow me now  
> As I favor your host
> 
> Vesuvius  
> Fire of fire  
> Follow me now  
> As I favor the ghost
> 
> Vesuvius  
> Fire of fire  
> Follow me now  
> As I favor the ghost
> 
> Follow me now  
> Or follow down  
> Why does it have to be so hard?
> 
> Follow me now  
> Or follow me down  
> Why does it have to be so hard?
> 
> Follow me now  
> Or follow me down


End file.
